Three Ways to Become the Healer You are Destined to Be

How to Become an Energy Healer: 3 Essential Steps

by Divine FeminineFeaturedMeditationWomen

As you look around our world today, what are the greatest needs you see? People are fleeing from conflict, seeking safety, shelter, food, and medical care. Others are seeking employment, care and education for their children, and most of all hope. At the same time, the natural world shows signs of incredible stress. Worrisome changes in terrain, weather, plant and animal populations remind us that human stewardship of the earth is a sacred bond that must be honored. There is no denying the work that needs to be done. Do you feel in your heart that you have a role to play in meeting these needs, in helping, nurturing, and healing the world? You know you have gifts, you know you can help, but how exactly do you begin?

In fact, you are the starting point.

As Louise Hay reminds us, “the power is within you!” When you ask what you can do to create a life filled with love and a world filled with joy and peace, consider this. You have the right stuff, you have the connection, you have the gifts and talents to turn everything around. You have the power just because of who you are—a child of the Divine, a being of light here to heal, thrive, grow, and to make your own unique and amazing contribution.

If fear tries to tell you the world doesn’t need you, that you can’t make a difference, that no one can see your light, remember who you are. You have the power to clear the fear, heal the hurt, open the doors and windows of your soul to a bright new day. And what a blessing that will be for a troubled world depending on you to step forth into the light and join a healing community powered by love.

Never doubt the power of Source to help you along the path you were meant to follow.

Years ago as a twenty-something lawyer, I never would have guessed that I would end up as an energy healer and spiritual teacher, but here I am. My relationship with energy healing developed from my soul’s cry for wellness, knowledge, and purpose. First, I struggled to be healed. As I climbed the spiritual ladder, I discovered more and more wonders of the Source of All Being that were available to any heart filled with forgiveness, gratitude, and love. As I benefited from energy healing, so I began using the same modality to help others. Today, as a teacher of energy medicine, I pass on the gift and work to grow the network of healing ever wider.

Could this be your path as well?

When you look at the needs of the world and yearn to be a force filled with healing love, you may have your answer. The first step on the path towards your calling as a healer begins with consciously deciding that you wish to devote your life to the healing of yourself and others. This basic generosity and nurturing nature are what brought you here. You are drawn to expand your spirit and tap in to the healing power of unconditional love.

Here are three ways you can shift into a higher spiritual gear and accelerate your movement toward greater spiritual growth and the gift of healing that you are destined to share:

1. Explore and bring forth your higher self.

The great philosophers of the ancient world advised students to “know thyself.” To know yourself, you must dwell in a mind-set of self-reflection and self-understanding. Use your spiritual practices of meditation, prayer, and journaling to discover how you feel about everything that has occurred to you in the past and is happening to you right now.

There is nothing to criticize or judge; you simply want to know and understand your inner world. As you explore your beliefs and values, admit your mistakes and accept yourself with love, you free yourself from fear and negativity. You open the door to expressing your higher self and become the powerful being you were meant to be.

2. Forgive yourself and grow in compassion.

Self-forgiveness plays a key role in your spiritual evolution and the ability to help others. The number one issue blocking your free access to the light of spirit is blaming yourself. It’s the biggest problem I find in working with others—human beings are just too hard on themselves! Therefore, in addition to recognizing and expressing your feelings honestly, the most powerful action you can take to grow in spirit is to accept and forgive your frailties. Accepting your humanness sets you free to give yourself the healing gift of compassion and unconditional love. As you grow in self-compassion so you free yourself to feel compassion for others and open your heart to the gifts of healing within.

3. Build your connection to Source.

Source is the wellspring of all the unconditional love, compassion, and healing light you are seeking. With a regular practice of connecting to Source, whatever that may mean for you—and without fear and negativity—you’ll find a sudden expansion of space for more light to come into your life. There’s enough room in you energetically for your higher-self qualities to be downloaded from the chakras above your head and come right into your energy field. The powerful gifts you always knew you had but couldn’t quite access will begin to manifest. Your strong connection to Source can help you become a vehicle for the higher qualities you need to follow your calling and become the powerful healer you are meant to be.

Getting in touch with your inner light will open the door to your higher self. Dedicated inner work is one of the primary ways you obtain your divine gifts. Your strong connection to Source helps you grow your intuition, knowledge, and understanding, and you start to experience the loving qualities of your true essence. Spiritual growth leads to inner peace and from inner peace comes the power to create peace in the world along with the healing gifts you are here to share.

If you’re attracted to this kind of learning, your’e curious discover more, and are even looking to tap into your gifts and get certified as an energy healer…join me here and begin the spiritual adventure of a lifetime. Click here >>>

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Vanity Sizing

by FeaturedWomen

Vanity. A lot of emotion gets packed into that word.  Even as a spiritual teacher, with my sights focused on energy healing and raising consciousness, I fret about my pants getting tighter. When I was in college, I was a size 2 model. In order to maintain that image of perfection, I lived on cigarettes and vodka. Food? No way.

Just yesterday I was having a one-on-one with a Level 7 student  and I gently pointed out to her that her recently gained 25 lbs. that she was bemoaning might be “her new normal.”  Who among us women over 40 hasn’t had to deal with a weight gain and a clothing size increase? While teaching a few weeks ago at Turks and Caicos, I asked the audience a rhetorical question: what are we going to do when we aren’t on an island and over-shirts aren’t in style?

So what does any of this have to do with being spiritually inclined? For one, you may think that if you’re trying to be more spiritual, you shouldn’t be concerned about what you look like. Not true. You need to care about the image you are presenting to the world. You want to make a good impression— at a business meeting, at the ashram, at the family reunion. You want to be desired, to be liked. (Unfortunately, you also want to have your chocolate ice cream, your lattes, and your pizza.)

Spiritual discipline is based on renunciation—you give up some portion of your ego (where I-me-mine is the center of the universe at all times) for the realization of unity consciousness. You concentrate on being mindful, being here now, instead of finding new ways to escape your reality. You start to recognize the ways in which your chakras and personal energy field are impacted by your thoughts and feelings instead of thinking every problem in your life is due to external circumstances.

So why is it so hard to give up vanity about the way you look? I think of it as “vanity sizing” in the mind. The manufacturers of the cultural obsession with physical appearance have made you feel that you have to be as thin as all those photo shopped models in magazines and actors on the screen. Yet everything in your life conspires against you being able to reach that goal. And the older your body gets, the harder it all is. Plus, what good is an hour in the gym when it’s followed by a quick stop at Starbucks? How can you even get to the gym when you work all day and pick up pizza on the way home because you have no time to cook a decent dinner for your family before you deal with your kid’s science project? Or you’re stressed out over paying your bills, or your health, or your lack of a love life, or the fact your pants are too tight—which certainly deserves another chocolate chip cookie.

When you find yourself caught up in this type of thinking—the size 16 reality of your day-to-day life versus the size 4 fantasy ideal your vanity would like you to achieve—what should you do?

Call upon your Higher Self.

Your Higher Self is who you really are. She encompasses all the virtues that stem from higher consciousness. She knows your higher purpose in life—the reason you incarnated in your particular body, with all its seeming faults. She’s the one who is with you lifetime after lifetime. So relax. Be who you are. Sit quietly and pull down the bright white/gold light from above your head (your Higher Self is really quite lovely) into that fabulous body of yours. It’s fabulous because it is the vehicle for getting to know your own divinity.

With the way things are going these days—with toxic chemicals turning rivers orange, with icecaps melting and oceans rising, with fierce typhoons, fires, and floods, with fracking causing earthquakes, with oil spills destroying habitats—maybe we all need to pay more attention to Mother Earth’s body than to our own.

Until then, buy pants in the next size up!

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Yoga and Energy Healing: Friends With Benefits

by Be Your Own ShamanChakrasEnergy HealingFeaturedHealthWomen

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Nearly everyday, it seems like there is some new health fad or alternative therapy saying they can help you lose weight fast or detox your system in twenty-four hours or make you happy with a pill. These quick-result claims are usually bogus, and are often actually harmful, because the way you heal yourself is not quickly, but sure and steady like the turtle. Your health is not worth risking for a magical overnight cure, and all true, effective, lasting healing takes some time and effort. But if you want to get the most healing bang for your buck, there is one healing practice that has stood the test of time and is the closest thing to a magical cure you will find: energy healing.

Health Is a Balancing Act

The mind-body-spirit connection has been well established by studies and research that illustrate that your system is a balancing act: each aspect of your being—mind, emotions, body, and soul—affects the other aspects directly. Unprocessed emotional trauma can block your chakras, disrupting your energy flow, and those distortions in your chakras can cause physical illness or injury. Spiritual depression, too, can cause physical depression—an experience you may have gone through before finding the right spiritual path—and physical pain can cause spiritual pain or lack of faith.
Think of each element of your being like a support beam in a house. When one beam cracks or fails, the whole building is weakened and becomes more susceptible to additional problems. You are like that house; when your chakras are blocked or your body is ill or any foundational part of you is somehow not functioning properly, it throws the whole structure—you—out of balance, and leaves you open to further harm.

How Many Ways Is Yoga is Good for You?

This is where energy healing can come in and save the day. As an energy healer and spiritual teacher, I introduce my students to many techniques that clear, charge, and balance their chakras and energy field and therefore heal the rest of them: journaling, meditation, being of service, forgiveness, shamanic breath work, Ayurveda, and many more. Today, I’d like to focus on one technique that is nearly as old as energy medicine itself: yoga.
This ancient Indian practice has soared in popularity, with yoga studios everywhere and yoga clothes as their own fashion trend. This spiritual practice is now done by everyone from celebrities to businessmen to schoolchildren, and most people know at least a pose or two. There have been many studies and plenty of evidence to support the wide range of positive results attributed to yoga that it’s now well known for its myriad health benefits.

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Physically, yoga improves flexibility and muscle strength, aids digestion, helps you sleep better, lowers blood pressure, ups your immune function, decreases pain, and even increases sexual performance! Mentally, yoga helps you focus, releases stress, reduces anxiety, and calms your thoughts. Yoga has also been linked to higher self-esteem, amplified inner strength and power, deeper awareness, and more peace. Plus, it can help you tone your body and lose weight. And this is just the tip of the yoga iceberg!

Yoga’s Spiritual Side

At its core, Yoga is a spiritual practice, passed down from yogis who devoted their lives to spiritual pursuits, and “yokes” the body and the soul energetically, just as does the practice of energy healing. Yoga uses movement or postures, called asanas, to revitalize your nervous system, your circulation, and your flow of prana, positively affecting your personal energy field. Yoga also emphasizes the breath, or pranayama, and uses the breath to move prana in and out from your body during the movements. The asanas and breathing are done together in a specific way to soothe and link your body and mind, clear and balance your chakras, and bring you in touch with Source.

Yoga makes a great complement to your energy medicine practice and any of my healing courses. Yoga is not just about stretching your mind and body, but about really connecting to yourself on a deep spiritual level, grounding you to the Earth and your physicality so that you have roots from which to grow your spirituality, and increasing the flow of energy within you. Yoga and energy healing both strive for harmony and balance, clarity of thought and intention, and a deeper understanding of your higher self.

In its own way, yoga is a type of energy healing, so when you practice yoga and energy healing together, the results will multiply exponentially. They’re like friends with benefits, each helping to boost the effectiveness of the other, and working toward the same goal of healing and transforming your entire being.

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True Love is Closer Than You Think!

by FeaturedRelationshipsWomen

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Around Valentine’s Day, retailers from Macy’s to Rite Aid start selling love-themed gifts in displays with red and pink heart decorations and images of diaper-clad cupids with their love bows and heart arrows. Bouquets of roses and ads for lingerie, champagne, and chocolates are everywhere. It’s enough to make even the happiest of couples feel pressured to act more romantic. And for those of you who are not currently in a relationship, this candy-coated holiday may leave you feeling more sour than sweet.

But true love is closer than you think. You only need to look in the mirror.

Many of those I help ask me how they can find love. As a trained Energy Healer, I often sense a blockage in the fourth chakra—the heart chakra. With a bit of probing I discover that my client is still affected by a past break-up or rejection, an abusive partner, childhood traumas, and many more emotionally charged events that have settled in their energy field.

Take my student, Paula, for example. I sensed in her energy field a toxic residue from a previous relationship. She had been cheated on repeatedly and lied to by her last partner, a man who finally stomped Paula’s heart into dust and left her broken. That emotionally abusive man also left a psychic wound that prevented Paula from trusting or loving anyone, including herself. As long as that wound went untreated, she would not be open to accepting love, despite how desperately she wanted it.  As I helped to heal her heartache, I asked Paula two life-changing questions: Do you love yourself? Do you feel worthy of love?

Tears poured out of Paula’s eyes as she shook her head, no, and she is not alone. It’s amazing how many people answer no to both questions, often in a choked whisper as they realize what this means. How can they ever hope to find love without first loving themselves? How can they allow anyone to love them if they don’t feel they deserve to be loved? Like Paula, these poor students’ hearts are literally frozen; no wonder they can’t find love.

If this sounds like you, please don’t despair. You can still learn to love, and love better, by first learning how to love yourself. Here are five easy steps you can take right now to begin to find your one true love: yourself.

1. Know You Are Worthy of Love

This is the first step. You have to believe that you are loveable, that you deserve to be loved. In my healing courses and workshops, I help you understand that no matter what your mom or dad or first crush or high school boyfriend or first partner said or did that made you feel unworthy of love—they are wrong. I cannot comment on their issues, but I can tell you that you deserve love. You are already loved by the Divine, constantly and unconditionally, and knowing this is the gateway to being able to accept love first from yourself, and then from others.

2. Forgive Your Imperfect Self

We are often more willing to forgive others for their mistakes than ourselves. Many of my students are their own harshest critics, making lists of perceived failures and other reasons they are “not good enough” to be loved, and creating a self-perpetuating cycle of rejection and loneliness. You are not perfect, but no one is. Forgive yourself for those past errors, accept yourself for who you are, and live with positive intentions.

3. Practice Self-Love

This might sound strange to those of you who were taught that loving yourself was the same as bragging; that you were selfish if you took care of your own needs first. But love is like emergency oxygen masks in an airplane: just as you must put on your own mask before assisting others, you must love yourself first in order to love others next. So begin each day by practicing self-love. Breathe love in before you get out of bed. Use a journal to keep track of moments you’re proud of, or make a list of your strengths. If you keep a gratitude list (which I highly recommend) be sure to add things about yourself you are thankful for. Love yourself as you are—an imperfect being moving toward the light.

4. Work on Your Spiritual Development

Connecting to the infinite love of Source will help you connect to earthly love as well. Begin with a daily practice of meditation and not only will you begin to experience a sense of calm and peace, you will also attune your body, mind, and soul to an energy that can begin to clear your emotional blocks. Developing your spiritual practice, whatever that means for you, can open your chakras so that you can accept the love that is sure to come your way.

5.  Get Rid of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are like black mold to your energy field. Once that negativity gets a foothold, it will spread and spread until it has choked off your access to the light. And like with black mold, it’s not enough to clear away each flare-up, you need to cut it off at the root. If possible, remove yourself from the abusive partner or friend who disguises insults as compliments.  If elimination is not possible, protect yourself spiritually by creating a psychic shield.

The truth of the season is that you are your one and only true love—so indulge in a little soul pampering and be sweet to yourself. Let Valentine’s Day be a catalyst for your own self-love rituals. You may even want to take yourself on a moonlit beach walk or buy yourself a special outfit. And if you want it, external love won’t be far behind.

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7 Tips for Losing Weight Without Diet or Exercise!

by Energy HealingHealthWomen

No one likes to look in the mirror and see those extra pounds that two sets of Spanx can’t hide. And no one likes to feel guilty about eating something yummy or not running a half-marathon. Fortunately, there are ways to lose weight—believe it or not— that don’t include starvation diets and sweating.

Here are 7 tried-and-true tips that will help you fit into your favorite jeans again:

      1. Get enough sleep. Weight loss is impossible if you are sleep deprived. Once you start getting the amount of sleep your body needs, you’ll lose a pound or two a month without doing any else. Really. Sleep deprivation affects the hormone ghrelin, which stimulates appetite, and leptin, the hormone that sends the message to your brain that you are full. When you don’t get enough zzz’s, you are much more likely to eat a whole pizza rather than just a slice or two. So turn off the TV and the computer and your smart phone an hour before bed, make sure your bedroom is totally dark and cool and no stimulants like caffeine.
      2. Get enough sun. It’s a simple formula: light deprivation causes depression; depression can lead to weight gain. We actually need a minimum of 20 minutes of sun on our bodies in the early morning or late afternoon, without sunscreen, at least five days a week all year to get enough Vitamin D to feel happy. If you live in a place where you get the winter blues, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), your hypothalamus gland gets imbalanced and sad, irritable and tired. It also makes you crave more carbs. If this is you, check out full spectrum lamps and light therapy boxes that mimic natural sunlight.
      3. Double your meals. Now you really think I’ve flipped, but listen. Take the food you currently eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and divide it in half—that means splitting your normal portion for each meal into two, not doubling the amount you eat. In other words, eat half that turkey sandwich at lunch, and the other half mid-afternoon. Make sure there is some good quality protein in each of the meals/snacks you eat, even if it’s just a handful of almonds. When you let your body get too hungry, you run the risk of overeating. Keep your blood sugar stabilized and you’ll stop heading to Starbucks for a pick-me-up. And speaking of Starbucks, when you do end up there, stick to the Hibiscus, not the double Frappuccino!
      4. Don’t isolate yourself. If there is a hole in your life where relationships should be, then you are probably filling it with food. These days it’s easy to be in regular contact with people, even if you don’t leave the house. Call them, email or chat online, meet new “friends” on Facebook, get in on the conversations on your favorite websites. Think about joining one of the websites like match.com or harmony.com even if you’re just looking for a walking partner.
      5. Forgive yourself for having gained weight. We all know the power of forgiveness. But forgiving yourself can be much harder than forgiving someone else. When you are ashamed about having put on the pounds, forgiving yourself is an important part of releasing your past and moving forward. Forgive yourself for the specific things you feel bad about, not about the person you are. You’re a good person no matter how much you weigh.
      6. Deal with your repressed emotions. Your story may not include childhood sexual and emotional abuse (like mine did), but we all carry emotional wounds of one sort or another. When you have an emotion but don’t acknowledge it or process it, you may wind up gaining weight as an act of protection against getting hurt again. Think about the fact that the belly is the center of the emotional body. You may be numbing yourself with food to keep from feeling certain “unacceptable” emotions—like shame, jealousy, anger, bitterness, etc. Stop running away and face what you feel. It might help to talk to a therapist or see an energy healer soon.
      7. Stop stressing about your weight. You’ve already got enough stress in your life, what with kids and aging parents and your job or lack of one and your relationships and paying your bills, and then there’s your doctor harping on you to lose weight before you come down with diabetes or heart disease or something worse. Of course, you’re more likely to crave a big bowl of chocolate chip ice cream if you’re stressed. If you worry about your weight, you’re simply adding to the stress, as well as creating more emotional pain, like low self-esteem. Constant stress can make you want to eat fatty, salty, or sugary foods in order to calm down. So what can you do to relieve your stress besides running five miles a day? Try 20 minutes of meditation. You’ll be amazed at how much your stress level will drop. Take it from a spiritual teacher and energy healer, meditation is the fastest way to address stress. 
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Start Living Like a Goddess Today!

by Radio, videos, and podcastsWomen

 

You have my permission to give yourself a gift and start living like the Goddess that you are, today.  Don’t even think about waiting until you’re ten pounds thinner, land the perfect job, or meet your dream partner to let your inner Goddess free.  You have the power within you to beautify your life, and the lives of the people around you, starting right now.

 

Living like a Goddess means getting in touch with the most positive and powerful side of yourself – your divine femininity.  It means connecting to what’s natural and real, and not being afraid to express your love for friends, family and the world around you! It means spreading a little light and laughter wherever you go. Most of all, it means accepting and loving yourself.

 

So where do you start? Here are a few suggestions to help your inner Goddess emerge:

 

Be still and listen to your inner voice. It’s easy to get so caught up in day-to-day worries and to-dos that you forget to take a moment for yourself. That’s a good way to lose touch with the Goddess inside you!  Breathe deeply, smile, and take a moment – even when things are at their most chaotic. Make it your priority to do the things that allow you to connect with your deepest self.  For me that list includes taking time to meditate (the effects are almost magical), kayaking, and long walks in the woods.

 

Embrace your inner wisdom.  Write down your thoughts. Share them with others – or don’t. It’s up to you. Post your thoughts, observations and inspirations on Facebook, or type them in your personal journal and lock it on your desktop or handwrite them in a beautiful journal you hide in your closet. Goddesses come in all styles! What matters is that you express yourself, and give yourself a pat on the back for your wisdom and insight.

 

Connect with others. Take a few moments for the people in your life. Unless you’re on a deserted island, you come in contact with people, and Goddesses get energy and joy from connecting. Make the effort to really engage!  Listen to your friends, your co-workers, your children, your partner.  Put down the cell phone, the book or the TV remote and let the people that you love know they have your full attention for a moment.  When you’re out in the world give strangers that you meet the gift of a joke, a smile, or a complement. It will make routine interactions more fun, and allow your Goddess light to shine!

 

Wear what makes you happy now. Don’t wait till you’re at your “perfect weight”. Dress to fit the body you’re in and show off your best features. If you like flowing skirts and bracelets – go for it! If you’re more the shorts and tank top kind of gal, dress for yourself! If you feel most like yourself in super short hair, embrace it. There are no rules, the only rule is to do what makes you feel beautiful and happy. Create your own signature style that is uniquely you, and if you want to change it up every day, that’s okay too.

 

Forgive yourself and others. In order to spread light in the world you first have to let go of the darkness inside you.  Fear, resentment and jealousy will keep you from being the loving, shining Goddess that you know you can be! Let go of the old stale resentments and grudges that are blocking you. Remember, forgiveness isn’t admitting that the other person was right, and it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s

a conscious decision to let go of resentment and anger and move on with your life. And while you’re at it, be sure to forgive yourself for any past mistakes that you’ve been beating yourself up about.

 

Finally – Share the love: Don’t play it cool. Give yourself permission to let people know how you feel about them. Let your favorite teller at the supermarket know that you make a special effort to check out in her line. Tell a little girl that you love her pink rain boots. Take your dog for a walk and appreciate her loyalty and love. Write a letter to a teacher or mentor, thanking them for inspiring you. Tell your parents, partner or siblings what they mean to you.  Let your children know what makes them special to you.

 

Being a Goddess is about making the most of the time you have on earth. And if your goal is to become a spiritual teacher, energy healer, or life coach, it’s crucial, as your prospective clients will definitely want their mentor to be a goddess! Unleash your feminine power and have a beautiful life!

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How to Curb your Emotional Eating and Cut Down on Carbs Today!

by HealthWomen

Do you find yourself mindlessly inhaling potato chips? Do you nervously devour the entire bread basket at restaurants before your first course even comes to the table? Does your diet consist mostly of comfort foods like pasta and potatoes? Do you find yourself wandering toward the fridge after an upsetting phone call or email? Does a stressful day at work make you want to break out the nachos?

You may very well be an emotional eater, but fear not, you are not alone! The good news is you can curb your emotional eating – you have the power to overcome your struggles with food and weight.

The first step is understanding why and when you turn to stress eating. Everyone does it from time to time, but if you are someone who handles all your difficult emotions by eating – whether you are bored, angry, sad, jealous, or nervous – then you are clearly stuck in a destructive cycle that is not healthy for your mind or your body. Emotional and stress eating is a form of self-medication. While some people turn to alcohol and drugs, others turn to food, especially comfort foods like carbs which trick our bodies into feeling warm and fuzzy and safe. You may be eating to suppress whatever emotions you are feeling, but notice that once you’ve devoured that entire bowl of macaroni and cheese or that big bowl of buttery popcorn, your emotions are still there waiting for you. You usually end up feeling even worse than before you took your first bite. And now your body is going to wear the extra weight from that binge. It’s a lose-lose situation and the resulting shame and feelings of loss of self-control put you in an even worse emotional place than before.

So let’s rewind and think about what you can do before you take that first bite! Make it a habit to grab your journal every time you want to reach for food and answer these questions: Am I really hungry? Am I depressed or anxious? Why do I want this food right now? And really answer yourself honestly? What just happened prior to your craving this food? Are you mad or frustrated or stressed out or exhausted? Is there something else you can do to resolve these emotions rather than numb them with junk food? Perhaps you would feel better if you went for a walk outside or took a warm bath or called a friend. Maybe chewing on something healthy and crunchy like celery would help you keep your mouth busy and help you release those emotions.

One of the causes of your stress eating may also be a result of childhood habits. How was food treated in your household growing up? Were you rewarded with food for good behavior? Was food taken away from you as punishment if you did something bad? Was your family struggling to put food on the table and you now see lots of food as a sign of success? Did your family encourage you to “clean your plate” no matter how full you were? All of these habits are emotional eating habits formed very early in our childhood, but that does not mean they are habits we cannot break. If you are aware of why you eat and when you eat, it will be a lot easier for you to make a point to eat when you actually need to eat and you will be able to control your mindless emotional eating.

You may also have unresolved suppressed emotions from a traumatic or stressful experience that you are protecting yourself with through the comfort of food and emotional eating. Physical or sexual abuse, a difficult relationship or lack of one, divorce, the death of a loved one, or as is becoming more and more common in today’s struggling economy, the loss of a home or job, are all situations that you may be battling and trying to eat your way past.

If you know you are going through a rough patch and your emotions are strong, try not to store them in your body as they will do more harm than good if they are bottled up inside you. Let your truth out and give yourself permission to release these emotions. One of the best ways to do so is to write in a journal everyday. Take a few minutes every evening at the end of your day and write down what is bothering you, what is on your mind, what happened that day…be 100% honest with yourself and don’t sugar-coat or try to be eloquent in your writing. Don’t be harsh on yourself for what you are writing – these are your feelings and they are 100% legit. If you can let yourself be honest with your emotions on paper, you will make fewer trips to the fridge!

If weight has long been a stubborn issue for you, come to one of my in-person workshops and let’s get to the bottom of it together! To sign up for an upcoming workshop near you, please visit my Events page at: /events-workshops//

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Promoting Women’s Wellness

by HealthWomen

Women's Health Week

It’s that time of year again for Women’s Health Week and it’s about time! This year’s theme, “It’s Your Time,” could not be more appropriately titled. Now, more than ever before, it is vital to acknowledge Women’s Health Week and work to empower women today to take charge of their health and take great care of themselves. In the past several months alone, women and their health choices have been under attack and used by politicians as part of a political game more than ever before. There is a war on women going on, and women’s wellness and health issues are at stake. It is high time women take back their power, and both men and women unite together to promote women’s wellness. Let’s make women’s health a top priority in our everyday life! Not just this week, but every week and every year!

Defining Women’s Wellness

Women’s wellness embodies everything in women’s health – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Women tend to put themselves last as many of them try to balance work and family and do it all. Oftentimes, their physical, spiritual and emotional health needs are put last in the long list of daily to-do’s. Women are so focused on taking care of everyone and everything else that they forget to even think about who is taking care of them. It is perplexing to me that so many women aren’t on their own list of priorities, as I believe it is imperative that in order to take care of anyone else’s needs, they really need to be able to handle their own selves first.

So to jumpstart your plan of action, here are some starter tips on ways you can celebrate Women’s Health Week and take better care of yourself and the women in your life today:

Physical Wellness: Taking Care of our Bodies!

  • Visit your healthcare professional/encourage the women in your life to visit their healthcare professional for regular checkups and preventative screenings.
  • Adopt an active lifestyle – make it a point to take walks, exercise, try yoga or Pilates or other mind-body workouts that will not only make you feel better physically, but will also ground you and improve your emotional health.
  • Eat healthy! Proper nutrition and drinking lots of water will go a long way in taking good care of your body.
  • Avoid unhealthy and risky behaviors and habits such as smoking, drinking excessively, and not wearing seatbelts or bike helmets.

Emotional Health: Taking Care of our Minds!

  • Make daily meditations a part of your everyday routine! Twice a day for twenty minutes will go a long way in helping you calm your mind and find your inner peace and sense of self. If you don’t know how to meditate or would like to learn an amazing meditation technique that will take your meditation to a higher level of consciousness, please check out my meditation download available online at: https://deborahking.b.smartzsites.com/learn-to-meditate/
  • Get plenty of Zzz’s! Sleep is important to keeping your stress down and taking care of women’s wellness. You may notice if you fall asleep often during your daily meditations that you may be lacking in the sleep department. Make sure you give your body and mind time to rest and recuperate before you start conquering the next day’s list of to-do’s!
  • Manage your stress better by learning to say ‘no’, making boundaries for yourself and keep them! No one can look out for you better than yourself, so be sure to set some limits so you aren’t overworked and overstressed!
  • Find something that brings you joy in your life – whether it’s an activity or hobby you love to do, or people you love to see who make you feel happy – and make a point to find the time to do it/see them.

Spiritual Calm: Taking Care of our Higher Self and Connecting to Source!

  • Reconnect with your higher self by reconnecting with Mother Nature – take walks through parks, on hiking trails, by the ocean. Appreciate all that our beautiful nature has to offer and feel closer to Source. Or try what I do, sleep outside to get a big dose of nature every night!
  • Journal your thoughts and emotions daily. Writing in a journal daily is one of the most powerful and uplifting tools both women and men can use to find our inner truths. If we can be 100% honest with ourselves, we can be honest with the world and we can connect closer to Source and each other.
  • Empower your Chakras! Daily meditations, taking a bath with sea salt and baking soda, hugging a tree, loving our pets, and tapping into our creativity are just some of the ways we can improve our chakra balance and thus, connect closer to Source. For tips on buffing up your chakras, you can read more in my blog on the Secret Seven at: https://deborahking.b.smartzsites.com/blog/2012/03/25/the-secret-seven-7-tips-to-buff-up-your-chakra-system/

These tips are a springboard towards better health for both men and women, but I urge all of you this week especially to please make a point to help the women in your lives as well as yourself to better nurture their spiritual, physical and emotional health. Too often, we move at such a fast pace in our society that women’s most basic needs get forgotten or left behind. Instead of pushing women’s wellness to the backburner this year, let us make a point of promoting and living it!

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The Price We Pay

by ChakrasEnergy HealingHealthMeditationTruth HealsWomen

Have you ever wondered whether small, constant headaches are the price we pay for living in a hyper-charged, over stimulated society? For me, tension headaches were a daily companion as I went through college and law school. I thought they were par for the course and was a little surprised when I found out that others did not routinely suffer from them.

Women are more likely to develop tension headaches than men quite possibly because we are trained from birth to suppress our feelings. Society rewards us for handling career, family, household, and community responsibilities without missing a beat or feeling exhausted.  But for many of us, it can be a burden—feeling so disconnected between our inner emotional struggles and the outward calm we present to the world. When we hide from the truth, we don’t allow our energy to flow freely in our bodies resulting in ill health in the form of tension headaches.

Here are three things that you can do to find relief from the pain because our fast-paced society is not going to change…only we can:

  • Identify when and how you feel when you experience them. Determining if they are primary headaches (such as migraines) or secondary headaches (caused by other illnesses or triggers) will help you treat them.
  • Honestly, assess the rhythm of your day and determine if stress, food or sleep patterns may be triggering your tension headaches.
  • Mix alternative medicine techniques with any conventional medical treatments that you may be receiving. Our clients have received headache relief from journaling, more regular exercise, yoga, meditation, prayer, massage, and balancing their chakras through energy healing.
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50/50 movie review

by HealthMovie ReviewsWomen

Near the end of 50/50, one of characters asks, “What now?” And that pretty well sums up the theme of this amazing little gem of a cancer film that is a “must see.” Maybe you’re trying to decide whether or not to get in our out of that relationship or job or city or apartment, but you do assume that something will follow. Compare the experience of 27 hear old Adam, played skillfully by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who has to contemplate a world where there might be nothing coming after “what now.” Really an inconceivable state of affairs to most people, certainly to a twenty-something.

Adam walks into the doctor’s office with a backache and walks out with a grim unpronounceable cancer diagnosis; he researches it on the Internet and finds out his chances are 50/50. But hold on, this film is not depressing. With a brilliant screenplay written by Will Reiser, who had his own successful battle with a similar cancer in his twenties, and co-starring Seth Rogen, hilarious as Adam’s best friend, and coincidentally, Will’s best friend in real life, the two main guy characters create the most real, most entertaining 99 minutes slice of life about cancer you will see.

Seth’s approach is a blend of backslapping friendship and a steady diet of chatter and crude jokes that would entertain even the most distressed cancer patient. (His list of supposed celebs who beat cancer includes Patrick Swazye) Director Jonathan Levine (The Wackness) takes this memoir and smoothly rolls it out without a hitch. The dialogue is spot on and will have you rolling in the aisle. And you’ll love Anna Kendrick (remember her great performance in Up in the Air with George Clooney) as Katie, Adam’s therapist. She’s so young (even younger than he is) that he asks her if he is her first, second or, possibly at best, third patient ever. Other supporting roles that round out this film include Bryce Dallas Howard as Adam’s departing girl-friend; she simply can’t “do” cancer, as many friends and family in real life find they can’t either.

Overall, the film succeeds because it never succumbs to sappy sentiment; often funny, even more often angry, very true to life and well worth seeing. And what really makes it work is the undying (no pun intended) friendship between Adam and Seth, a bro movie through and through. Bring the popcorn and enjoy!

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7 Tips for Getting a Friend Through a Divorce

by Trauma and ViolenceTruth HealsWomen

When the Dalai Lama says that his religion is kindness, you may think that he’s being a little simplistic. But have you considered what it means to be kind? It means really listening to others, allowing your friends to open their hearts and listening to their problems without judging them, then finding the right response that may lead them gently in a new direction.

 A classic time to be truly kind is when one of your friends is going through a relationship breakup. The end of a relationship is one of the most difficult upheavals many people will ever face. It’s an emotional roller coaster that you would like to help your friend survive, but how do you do that?

 Here are 7 tips for how you can help your friend navigate this emotional mine field.

  1. Be careful not to assign blame. Your friend may be blaming his soon-to-be ex, thus fanning the flames of anger. Or he might be blaming himself for failing to keep the relationship alive and healthy, and is angry at himself and guilt-ridden. You can remind him that not all relationships are meant to last forever, and the romantic relationship can transform into one of friendship, which is especially important if children are involved. Suggest he find a place where he can express his anger safely and release his guilt, such as in group therapy.
  2. Encourage your friend to express her feelings, whatever they are. If she’s being stoic, remind her that emotions that aren’t expressed can get trapped in the body where they can do physical harm. She can take up beating pillows or kick boxing or going down to the beach to holler at the waves, whatever it takes to let the emotions run their course.
  3. Help him understand that this is a period of significant loss. Loss of a significant other can be worse than death, and requires a mourning period and great personal adjustment. Grief is normal. He may be losing all their mutual friends, where he lives, even his pets. Remind him he has the opportunity to gain a better understanding of who he is by himself, without having to defer to another, an understanding of what he really wants in life, and what he needs to do in order to heal himself. All of which require time.
  4. Reassure your friend that her sex life doesn’t end when the relationship does; in fact, it may improve. She is still attractive (no matter how old she is) and worthy of finding love again, when she is ready. Her self-esteem need not be lessened by divorce, and there’s no need to “prove” her desirability by jumping into another relationship right away. And if your friend is of the gender of your own preference, don’t think jumping into bed with him/her is an act of kindness, it’s not. Stick to being friends without “benefits.”
  5. Help him with practical matters that may be new to him, like setting up a kitchen and cooking. He’d probably love help with moving, getting settled in the new place and making new friends. Above all, stay in touch with him so he doesn’t feel alone.
  6. It’s very therapeutic to watch others going through the same things you are. Watch movies with your friend that can help her express what she’s feeling, from “The First Wives Club” and “War of the Roses” to “Kramer vs. Kramer,” “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Squid and the Whale,” “Wonder Boys,” and a host of others.
  7. We all “get by with a little help from our friends.” Be the friend who can make your friend laugh.

As Oprah has said, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Now that’s the kindness of a true friend.

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Breast Cancer: First comes fear

by Women

First comes fear. You felt a lump while showering. You got called back for additional tests after your mammogram. You heard the doctor say surgery and chemo and radiation and your mind went blank. Thank goodness someone was with you in the office. The train of your life, which was on one track, has jumped the rails and gone in a totally different direction. You have breast cancer. Or your mother, or sister, or daughter, or best friend has breast cancer.

Is there anyone who doesn’t know at least one woman who has battled this disease? The statistics show that one in eight women in the U.S. will develop invasive breast cancer at some point in their lifetime. Over 200,000 new cases were expected to be diagnosed in 2010, as well as over 50,000 cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer. When a woman is diagnosed with cancer, more than 1 in 4 cases will be breast cancer. And 40,000 women were expected to die in 2010 from this disease.

So fear arises: Will I die? Who will care for my children? How will I afford treatment? Will I still be able to work? Will I lose my breast(s)? My hair? Will I feel like a woman?

I know what it feels like to hear the words: You have cancer. Mine was cervical cancer, which also dealt with a vital part of the female anatomy. I know the fears. I know the way cancer changes your life.

Many of the celebrities we admire know the same fears, and many have served as incredible examples of courage and dedication to the cause of raising awareness of breast cancer. Edie Falco (The Sopranos, Nurse Jackie), the original Charlie’s Angels Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith, singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow, activist and co-founder of Ms. Magazine Gloria Steinem,  fashion designer Betsey Johnson, pop star Kylie Minogue, Suzanne Somers, Good Morning America cohost Robin Roberts, Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon, singer-songwriter Carly Simon, TV journalist Cokie Roberts, Olympic ice-skating champ Peggy Fleming, cohost of Today Hoda Kotb (who let cameras track her treatment), actress Christina Applegate, Olivia Newton-John, Oscar winner Dame Maggie Smith . . . the list goes on. And who could forget Melissa Etheridge’s courage at the 2005 Grammy Awards in rocking Janis Joplin while bald from chemo?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. What can you do to prevent or deal with the effects of breast cancer? What changes can you make in your lifestyle now that will make a difference? Where can you get support? How can you best help a friend or relative as she battles breast cancer? Do alternative treatments and complementary energy medicine help? There is much to think about. Try to put the fears aside so you can do the research and take charge of your own health. There is life beyond the fear.

Cancer, as I discovered in my own journey, does not have to be a totally negative experience. I value it as a force that changed the direction of my life in a very positive way. Join me in helping to bring new awareness to breast cancer.

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The Help

by Movie ReviewsTruth HealsWomen

As many of you may know, I’m a movie buff. I love sitting in a darkened theater and being swept away by a good story. Now that it’s fall, it’s movie time again and I’ll be posting reviews of the ones that may open your heart, challenge your beliefs or expand your horizons. Sometimes a movie comes along that triggers a deep emotional response and brings up memories. That happened to me recently when I saw The Help.

I grew up in northern California, far from the segregated South, but my mother gave me a taste of the old South right in my own home. One of the fixtures of my childhood was Mamie, our “help,” who worked for my mother half a day every day and all day on holidays. She came to work for our family when my mother was a young pregnant bride of 19, married to my 41-year-old father, her former boss and a prominent politician. Mamie, who was my father’s age, was always there for me from the time I was born—a loving presence in stark contrast to my mother’s coldness and indifference to me. I adored her.

Just like in the film, my mother insisted on being called Mrs. King (although Mamie called her other employers by their first name) and I was always Miss King. She served our meals and then ate her own in the kitchen. When I was old enough to question my mother about that, she said the help always ate in the kitchen, no matter what color they were.

It was a confusing situation. I certainly didn’t think of my family as racist. My father was a bleeding heart liberal who spent every holiday driving around town giving away clothes and money to the needy. My mother came from a working class background; her own Portuguese mother had taken in sewing and cleaned houses. Why didn’t she treat Mamie more like an equal?

Although I knew that all the “colored” folk lived on the South Side, the poorest part of town, it never occurred to me to question why. As children, we accept what is without question. I knew about the South Side because Mamie lived there, in what was basically a shack. When I was old enough to drive, one of my chores was to drop off the family laundry and ironing at Mamie’s in the morning and pick it up again in the evening.

I left the movie and spent the rest of the evening thinking about Mamie and my family. My mother was considered a kind employer (one of Mamie’s sons still calls my mother once a year to see how she’s doing). Mother insisted I come home from college to be at Mamie’s bedside as she was dying in the hospital. Mother was the only white woman who attended the black funeral when Mamie died at 56 from heart failure (not surprising after eight children and a life of hard and often demeaning work).

As my emotional reaction to the movie gradually faded, I began to question the beliefs I had grown up with about discrimination, about prejudice. As children, we so readily accept situations as normal, as being “just the way things are.” This is why it’s so important to examine our beliefs, so we can shake ourselves out of complacency and come to a more conscious understanding, so we don’t pass along to future generations the same sorrows and injustices.

If you haven’t seen The Help, I recommend it. One of my clients who grew up in Mississippi with a black nanny wept copiously throughout the film. But even if this particular situation is not one that you experienced personally, have you experienced discrimination based on your class or race or religion? Conversely, what have you felt and believed about those who are of different class or race or religion from you?

In the spiritual universe, we are all One. There is no doubt about that. By examining the hidden traces of prejudice and discrimination that you may hold, you can free yourself from whatever hinders you from experiencing that unity.

Isn’t it amazing what a good movie can do?

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Intimate Relationships

by Truth HealsWomen

An intimate, stable relationship is the crucible in which we learn how to stand strong in our own individuality. It’s not an easy task. We need to trust each other, to feel emotionally “safe,” in order to bring forth the full expression of who we are. Unfortunately, a lot of us think a relationship should look like the one the romance industry promotes, full of hearts and flowers and sexy lingerie. We picture ourselves walking hand-in-hand along the riverbanks of Paris, sharing Mai Tai’s on the beach, gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes across a candle-lit table.

The truth is that our bodies are programmed so that the early infatuation we experience will pass in roughly six to twelve months. At some point, either you or your partner may want to run away from the relationship. I need time alone. You’re smothering me. Or you don’t spend enough time with me, you’re always at work or with your friends. What statements like those really mean is I’m trying to figure out who I am and what I want.

As you reach the infamous seven year mark in a relationship, either partner may feel the strong need to run. And when women enter perimenopause, the compliant little wife may suddenly become a fierce tiger, and scare her partner. As men and women hit their mid-forties to mid-fifties, they may develop more of the heavier qualities of the earth, sleeping more or becoming inclined to depression. Or they may exhibit too much of the fire quality, become overly driven and ambitious and rushed.  Or they may develop too much air quality and become anxious and worried and have trouble sleeping. These are classic times for one of the partners to have an affair, or many affairs.

Most relationships crack because of lack of trust brought on by either financial or sexual factors. If your partner is not contributing to the monetary welfare of the relationship—can’t get or hold a job (especially in this economy), gets an inheritance and blows it on a Porsche instead of a college fund for the kids, or develops a gambling addiction, for example—money is the main factor in the loss of trust in the partnership.

One of the most common betrayals of trust happens when your partner (or you) has an affair, which is pretty difficult not to take personally. Ideally, it would be nice to be able to forgive and move on, but a lot depends on the circumstances. Was it a single one-night stand? A long-running affair? Many different partners? There are few relationships where one or the other partner doesn’t at least think about straying at some point. But looking outside the marriage is really just a diversion from the basic issue, which is finding ourselves. However, it is a compelling diversion that basically switches our attention from our present partner’s needs to the new partner’s needs. . . and often duplicates the problems we had with the last partner.

I work with so many people who blame themselves when their partner cheats or lands them in financial difficulty. The key point to remember is that your partner’s behavior says more about the problems your partner is trying to resolve from his or her past than about anything directly related to you.

Unfortunately, when we’re betrayed or our trust is broken, we tend to shut down our heart. When a dog is hit, it cowers close to the ground. Well, we do the same thing if our heart is hurt. If we don’t open our heart and let the pain move through, how can we be open to new experiences of love? This is why it’s so important to clear the energy from past relationships out of your personal energy field and out of your body (see the shamanic technique, the “Sweeping Breath,” on page 117 of my book, Be Your Own Shaman). That old relationship can slow you down and make you feel confused, unfocused, unhappy, lethargic or, worse, it can make you toxic and sick.

I’d like to pass on to you the two biggest tips that I have learned in over thirty years of marriage: First, if you meditate every day with your partner, you’ll find it’s pretty easy to get along. Secondly, when you are really upset with your significant other, begin every statement with how you feel. Start the sentence with “I feel horrible when you say such and such,” instead of saying, “You always say...” That gives the other person a chance to realize the impact they are having on you instead of going immediately on the defensive.

As you grow in your emotional health, your relationships will reflect a more mature intimacy, which in turn allows you to be fully who you are. If your relationship can survive the power struggles and betrayals, it means you have healed the wounds inflicted in the battle of the sexes for nurturance, power, and self. You realize you can separate from each other and come back together without losing yourself, and you can finally claim the prize of real intimacy.

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Was she asking for it?

by Women

Sexual Abuse Awareness

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness month. Many of you who know my story know that sexual abuse was a major component of my life as a child. I know all too well what that type of trauma can do. What is absolutely astounding to me is that someone can look at a young girl and believe that she was asking for it.

There was a recent case in the news about an 11-year-old girl who was gang raped, and the first defense by the young men who raped her was that she was asking for it. What makes that even worth reporting is the fact that so many people seem ready to buy into that lame excuse for violent behavior.

I’ve written a blog in The Huffington Post that discusses some of the beliefs we hold as a society that foster this kind of irrational and dangerous thinking. It’s so important that we examine our cultural beliefs so we can all help to eliminate the milieu that promotes sexual assault. You can read and comment on the blog at https://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/was-she-asking-for-it_b_850153.html