How to Heal From Heartbreak

Heartbreak is universal. There is not a person on this planet who has not experienced loss in some way. Be it through rejection, betrayal, abandonment, or death, the pain of losing love, or never having love in the first place, can literally break your heart.

A broken heart has deeper effects than overwhelming sadness. Emotionally, your heart shuts down and blocks your ability to give or receive love, which affects your ability to love yourself and all your relationships. Energetically, your heart chakra closes and blocks the flow of nourishing energy from the unified field. If the energetic blocks aren’t cleared, you can develop physical problems like lung cancer or even heart attack.

Mending the Cracks

Heartbreak is very real, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Believe me, I know. When I was very young I sensed that my mother didn’t love me. I tried not to believe it—what mother doesn’t love her own child?—and after years of her icy glares of resentment and cold-hearted lack of affection, I built a wall around my heart and vowed never to let that pain inside. Perhaps you made a similar vow at some point in your life, and now it’s become the way you live. It may seem safer, but I know how lonely it can be.

By the time I was an adult, my heart chakra had been closed off for so many years, it wasn’t just broken, it was shattered. I didn’t trust in love, and didn’t know how to love myself since I’d never been properly loved by anyone else. With energy healing, I was able to mend the cracks and fissures in my heart, heal my heart chakra, and learn to love in a healthy way. I’ve seen energy medicine heal the hearts of thousands of students, too, and I know it can do the same for you if you let it.

The Key to Healing

In energy healing, chakras are the key to your emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical health. Basically, chakras open you to all the wisdom you need to live a healthy, happy, fulfilling life, but they can become dysfunctional by unprocessed trauma or repressed emotion. If a chakra becomes distorted or imbalanced, the areas of your live governed by that chakra become distorted or imbalanced, wreaking havoc in your life.

Dysfunction in your heart chakra, which corresponds to your thymus, ribs, back, lungs, and of course, your heart, can lead to circulatory problems, lung disorders, breast cancer and heart attack. Heart chakra imbalance can also cause depression, a lack of empathy, and an inability to give and receive love. One of the most essential questions to ask yourself when determining the health of your heart chakra is, “Do I give and receive love easily and without fear?” If the answer isn’t yes, chances are that your heart hasn’t fully healed from a break somewhere in your past.

The Common Response to Heartbreak

Take a minute to think about what loss or lack of love you may have experienced. So many of my students come to my healing courses and workshops with heart chakra blockages that were initially formed as defense mechanisms against a pain that seemed unbearable. The death of a loved one or the death of a relationship, a hateful rather than loving parent, the rejection of a first love, an unfaithful partner, and many more situations where love is revoked or betrayed all cause heartbreak, and the common response to the crushing ache of heartbreak is to shut down the heart’s ability to feel.

The problem is that when you close your heart from the bad feelings, you also shut out the good feelings. But there is always hope! With energy medicine, there is no statute of limitations on releasing pent up emotions from any form of trauma, and it is never too late to begin working with a spiritual teacher or energy healer to get your heart chakra cleared and functioning properly. With a charged and balanced heart chakra, you can enjoy love in your life and create healthy relationships.

Unhurt, Unstruck, Unbeaten

In Sanskrit, the heart chakra is called anahata, which means “unhurt, unstruck, or unbeaten.” No matter what happened to break your heart, it can be healed and “unhurt.”

Here are a few ways to begin the process:

1. Grieve and then let go.

Grief is a heavy burden to carry, and it sits on your heart, weighing you down and keeping your heart chakra closed. You have to open your heart chakra and feel the pain of your grief, even though it hurts, in order to move past it and feel the love that’s waiting for you beyond the grief. Cry, journal, talk to someone you trust, scream if you have to, but let that grief out and let it go.

2. Love a pet.

Basking in the unconditional love of a pet is one of the best ways to begin opening a closed heart chakra. Dogs, cats, horses, even birds have fully expanded hearts that just want to love and be loved in return, and they are not shy about asking for attention and love when they want it. Pets show you what happiness can be found in simple, small gestures of love like a pat on the back or a snuggle. Spending time with these furry beacons of love can help you begin to trust love again.

3. Be nicer to yourself.

Heartbreak can steal your self-esteem, stripping you of the ability to see how lovable and deserving of love you really are. Part of the process of healing your heart is to learn how to love yourself, which not only makes you internally happier, but will improve your relationships with others as well. Try making a list of the qualities you love about yourself. What are you proud of? How are you unique? Do something nice for yourself every day until you really believe you are worthy of that self-love, because you are.

If you would like to learn more about how to clear, balance, and charge your heart chakra, come check out my chakra wisdom online video course where I go deeply into all the chakras.  

Loving Yourself - Finding True Love

Seven Steps to Finding Love

Loving Yourself - Finding True Love

You have to love yourself before you can get into a healthy relationship with another. Feeling good about yourself and who you are is a vital part of finding the right person for you.

Let’s look at how the process of love works in order to understand why loving yourself, or at least liking yourself, is important. When you initially meet someone, you want them to be enamored with you. You want them to think about you at least as much as you think about them; you want to feel desired. That feeling, however, will fade over time, usually much faster than you would like to believe. At most, initial infatuation lasts six months. The next thing we want from our partner is to be seen for who we are. It’s no good having someone fall in love with something we’re not; this dooms the relationship to failure. We want our partners to understand and accept us for exactly who we are. How, though, are they going to love you if you aren’t being you?

Say you are a woman, and you meet a guy you like. You suddenly become a shadow of your real self in his presence, either stronger or weaker than you really are. The time will come, eventually, when he will discover that you are not exactly what you made yourself out to be. He will become disillusioned and may want to end the relationship.

This is one reason that men often have an easier time finding and keeping dates than women do. Thanks to their genetic makeup, men are much more likely to like themselves for who they are. They behave around a woman exactly as they would when they were alone, allowing women to see who they truly are with no illusions or any change of attitude.

Women are also pressured to look a certain way. In 2010, of the 21.7 million cosmetic surgical and nonsurgical procedures that were performed in the United States, over 90% were done on women – breast augmentations, liposuction and Botox leading the way. And plastic surgery is on the rise.

If you want to find the ideal partner, it is vital that you like yourself for who you are. Try these seven steps to feel better about who you are, making it easier to reveal your true self to someone you meet.

  1. Respect yourself.  This is actually difficult for many people. We are living in a society where we are taught to give respect to others but are not generally encouraged to give ourselves respect. It is vital to learn to respect yourself and to know that you are worthy of respect from someone else based on your qualities as a human being, not on your worldly success or your appearance.
  2. Set goals.  Setting goals is a great way to help you to feel better about who you are and to learn to respect yourself. You should have two lists: one for short-term goals and one for long-term goals. As you work on these goals and complete them, cross them off of your list. You will feel proud of your accomplishments and see that you are worthy of respect.
  3. Let go of fear.  Fear is what keeps us from doing the things we enjoy. Fear is behind every attempt to cover up our real selves. We are afraid someone won’t like us if they see who we really are. Letting go of fear is a process that is accelerated as we release our emotional wounds; that’s one of the things I help people do at workshops.
  4. Clear the energy from past relationships. If we don’t clear the energy from our past relationships out of our personal energy field, the one that surrounds your body, that old relationship can slow you down or make you feel confused, unfocused, unhappy, lethargic, or even make you sick and toxic. I can teach you shamanic exercises to help you clear that old energy.
  5. Stop criticizing yourself! Self-criticism never helps anything. Make a pact that you will no longer put yourself down. This will not only relax you but will also help you to look and feel better.
  6. Love the body you are in. The pressure that society and the media put on everyone can make it difficult to feel comfortable in your own skin. Most of us worry about some part of our body being not right—our nose, our hair, our height, and especially our weight. In fact, as long as you are eating a healthy diet and getting enough exercise to allow your body to work properly, you should stop trying to be something you are not and learn to enjoy your body.
  7. Develop your inner strength. Have you ever seen a young birch tree in a heavy wind? It bends. While harder trees crack and break, a birch tree sways and is still standing when the wind is done. This is because there is an inner core of flexible strength in the willow, which is what you should work on cultivating for yourself. Find that inner strength so that you can bend and sway with the changes in your life without breaking. We find our strength by uncovering and releasing the difficult emotions we have suppressed throughout our lives and seeing that living in our personal truth is the source of our true strength.

Once you like yourself, then you are able to enjoy a healthy relationship with another. Like all good things, it takes time to be able to truly like who you are, but once you do you will find that everything will change, even your relationships!