How to Heal From Heartbreak

Heartbreak is universal. There is not a person on this planet who has not experienced loss in some way. Be it through rejection, betrayal, abandonment, or death, the pain of losing love, or never having love in the first place, can literally break your heart.

A broken heart has deeper effects than overwhelming sadness. Emotionally, your heart shuts down and blocks your ability to give or receive love, which affects your ability to love yourself and all your relationships. Energetically, your heart chakra closes and blocks the flow of nourishing energy from the unified field. If the energetic blocks aren’t cleared, you can develop physical problems like lung cancer or even heart attack.

Mending the Cracks

Heartbreak is very real, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Believe me, I know. When I was very young I sensed that my mother didn’t love me. I tried not to believe it—what mother doesn’t love her own child?—and after years of her icy glares of resentment and cold-hearted lack of affection, I built a wall around my heart and vowed never to let that pain inside. Perhaps you made a similar vow at some point in your life, and now it’s become the way you live. It may seem safer, but I know how lonely it can be.

By the time I was an adult, my heart chakra had been closed off for so many years, it wasn’t just broken, it was shattered. I didn’t trust in love, and didn’t know how to love myself since I’d never been properly loved by anyone else. With energy healing, I was able to mend the cracks and fissures in my heart, heal my heart chakra, and learn to love in a healthy way. I’ve seen energy medicine heal the hearts of thousands of students, too, and I know it can do the same for you if you let it.

The Key to Healing

In energy healing, chakras are the key to your emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical health. Basically, chakras open you to all the wisdom you need to live a healthy, happy, fulfilling life, but they can become dysfunctional by unprocessed trauma or repressed emotion. If a chakra becomes distorted or imbalanced, the areas of your live governed by that chakra become distorted or imbalanced, wreaking havoc in your life.

Dysfunction in your heart chakra, which corresponds to your thymus, ribs, back, lungs, and of course, your heart, can lead to circulatory problems, lung disorders, breast cancer and heart attack. Heart chakra imbalance can also cause depression, a lack of empathy, and an inability to give and receive love. One of the most essential questions to ask yourself when determining the health of your heart chakra is, “Do I give and receive love easily and without fear?” If the answer isn’t yes, chances are that your heart hasn’t fully healed from a break somewhere in your past.

The Common Response to Heartbreak

Take a minute to think about what loss or lack of love you may have experienced. So many of my students come to my healing courses and workshops with heart chakra blockages that were initially formed as defense mechanisms against a pain that seemed unbearable. The death of a loved one or the death of a relationship, a hateful rather than loving parent, the rejection of a first love, an unfaithful partner, and many more situations where love is revoked or betrayed all cause heartbreak, and the common response to the crushing ache of heartbreak is to shut down the heart’s ability to feel.

The problem is that when you close your heart from the bad feelings, you also shut out the good feelings. But there is always hope! With energy medicine, there is no statute of limitations on releasing pent up emotions from any form of trauma, and it is never too late to begin working with a spiritual teacher or energy healer to get your heart chakra cleared and functioning properly. With a charged and balanced heart chakra, you can enjoy love in your life and create healthy relationships.

Unhurt, Unstruck, Unbeaten

In Sanskrit, the heart chakra is called anahata, which means “unhurt, unstruck, or unbeaten.” No matter what happened to break your heart, it can be healed and “unhurt.”

Here are a few ways to begin the process:

1. Grieve and then let go.

Grief is a heavy burden to carry, and it sits on your heart, weighing you down and keeping your heart chakra closed. You have to open your heart chakra and feel the pain of your grief, even though it hurts, in order to move past it and feel the love that’s waiting for you beyond the grief. Cry, journal, talk to someone you trust, scream if you have to, but let that grief out and let it go.

2. Love a pet.

Basking in the unconditional love of a pet is one of the best ways to begin opening a closed heart chakra. Dogs, cats, horses, even birds have fully expanded hearts that just want to love and be loved in return, and they are not shy about asking for attention and love when they want it. Pets show you what happiness can be found in simple, small gestures of love like a pat on the back or a snuggle. Spending time with these furry beacons of love can help you begin to trust love again.

3. Be nicer to yourself.

Heartbreak can steal your self-esteem, stripping you of the ability to see how lovable and deserving of love you really are. Part of the process of healing your heart is to learn how to love yourself, which not only makes you internally happier, but will improve your relationships with others as well. Try making a list of the qualities you love about yourself. What are you proud of? How are you unique? Do something nice for yourself every day until you really believe you are worthy of that self-love, because you are.

If you would like to learn more about how to clear, balance, and charge your heart chakra, come check out my chakra wisdom online video course where I go deeply into all the chakras.  

Loving Yourself - Finding True Love

Seven Steps to Finding Love

Loving Yourself - Finding True Love

You have to love yourself before you can get into a healthy relationship with another. Feeling good about yourself and who you are is a vital part of finding the right person for you.

Let’s look at how the process of love works in order to understand why loving yourself, or at least liking yourself, is important. When you initially meet someone, you want them to be enamored with you. You want them to think about you at least as much as you think about them; you want to feel desired. That feeling, however, will fade over time, usually much faster than you would like to believe. At most, initial infatuation lasts six months. The next thing we want from our partner is to be seen for who we are. It’s no good having someone fall in love with something we’re not; this dooms the relationship to failure. We want our partners to understand and accept us for exactly who we are. How, though, are they going to love you if you aren’t being you?

Say you are a woman, and you meet a guy you like. You suddenly become a shadow of your real self in his presence, either stronger or weaker than you really are. The time will come, eventually, when he will discover that you are not exactly what you made yourself out to be. He will become disillusioned and may want to end the relationship.

This is one reason that men often have an easier time finding and keeping dates than women do. Thanks to their genetic makeup, men are much more likely to like themselves for who they are. They behave around a woman exactly as they would when they were alone, allowing women to see who they truly are with no illusions or any change of attitude.

Women are also pressured to look a certain way. In 2010, of the 21.7 million cosmetic surgical and nonsurgical procedures that were performed in the United States, over 90% were done on women – breast augmentations, liposuction and Botox leading the way. And plastic surgery is on the rise.

If you want to find the ideal partner, it is vital that you like yourself for who you are. Try these seven steps to feel better about who you are, making it easier to reveal your true self to someone you meet.

  1. Respect yourself.  This is actually difficult for many people. We are living in a society where we are taught to give respect to others but are not generally encouraged to give ourselves respect. It is vital to learn to respect yourself and to know that you are worthy of respect from someone else based on your qualities as a human being, not on your worldly success or your appearance.
  2. Set goals.  Setting goals is a great way to help you to feel better about who you are and to learn to respect yourself. You should have two lists: one for short-term goals and one for long-term goals. As you work on these goals and complete them, cross them off of your list. You will feel proud of your accomplishments and see that you are worthy of respect.
  3. Let go of fear.  Fear is what keeps us from doing the things we enjoy. Fear is behind every attempt to cover up our real selves. We are afraid someone won’t like us if they see who we really are. Letting go of fear is a process that is accelerated as we release our emotional wounds; that’s one of the things I help people do at workshops.
  4. Clear the energy from past relationships. If we don’t clear the energy from our past relationships out of our personal energy field, the one that surrounds your body, that old relationship can slow you down or make you feel confused, unfocused, unhappy, lethargic, or even make you sick and toxic. I can teach you shamanic exercises to help you clear that old energy.
  5. Stop criticizing yourself! Self-criticism never helps anything. Make a pact that you will no longer put yourself down. This will not only relax you but will also help you to look and feel better.
  6. Love the body you are in. The pressure that society and the media put on everyone can make it difficult to feel comfortable in your own skin. Most of us worry about some part of our body being not right—our nose, our hair, our height, and especially our weight. In fact, as long as you are eating a healthy diet and getting enough exercise to allow your body to work properly, you should stop trying to be something you are not and learn to enjoy your body.
  7. Develop your inner strength. Have you ever seen a young birch tree in a heavy wind? It bends. While harder trees crack and break, a birch tree sways and is still standing when the wind is done. This is because there is an inner core of flexible strength in the willow, which is what you should work on cultivating for yourself. Find that inner strength so that you can bend and sway with the changes in your life without breaking. We find our strength by uncovering and releasing the difficult emotions we have suppressed throughout our lives and seeing that living in our personal truth is the source of our true strength.

Once you like yourself, then you are able to enjoy a healthy relationship with another. Like all good things, it takes time to be able to truly like who you are, but once you do you will find that everything will change, even your relationships!


Secret Teachings of The Way: Healing Techniques from Other Realms

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” –Rumi

Are you ready to step up in spirit? Whenever you’ve asked yourself the eternal question, “Why am I here?”—what answer seems to filter back again and again?  “You are here for a reason.” There is no doubt about it. You are conscious and aware in a special way that allows you to feel joy, love, awe, and delight—as well as pain and sorrow. Given these powerful qualities, you must be here on a mission!

Your presence on this page, reading these words, reveals that you know an important secret about your life. You are travelling somewhere. There’s an important kind of growth and transformation that calls to you. You are seeking the opportunity and the means to expand your consciousness, your connection to that vast force field that is the Creator of All That Is, Source, Spirit, or God.

You are part of this omnipresent unified energy field, even if you can’t always see or feel it. Everyone experiences a yearning to connect to that Source, with the ultimate goal of reaching ever-higher levels of consciousness that bring us closer and closer to manifesting that God-force within.

In my work as a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I have the privilege of facilitating this universally longed-for expansion of consciousness. I try to do it face-to-face whenever possible—making it even more thrilling! Growing in consciousness opens the doors for each member of the human family to travel their own path to universal harmony and peace. Each advance in consciousness gives you another glimpse of the infinite, the unconditional love you long to connect with.

Whatever your particular journey has been up until now, rest assured that nothing happens in your life that isn’t part of your Divine plan. Everything will serve your highest purpose in some way. Take a moment to re-imagine your story, to see the obstacles and traumas and challenges of your life as the necessary foundation for your spiritual development.

Ask yourself what may have prepared you to develop the gift of being able first to heal yourself and then possibly others. Where do you stand right now in your spiritual growth? Are you focused, sensitive, compassionate? Do you frequently spend time in nature, meditation, or prayer? Have you begun to work through the wounds and emotional issues from your childhood? The list of possible experiences, qualities, and skills you already possess to help you is endless. Real healing power is inside you; it just needs to be awakened, nurtured, and practiced.

What have I seen students experience as they achieve another step toward their full spiritual awakening? Each step you take to advance your spirit brings you closer to the life you were meant for, the purpose you are here to accomplish. As you uncover and heal your wounds and clear your negative energy patterns, you reveal your gifts and build your power to use them. As you work to grow your consciousness, you will experience greater appreciation for life, higher self-esteem, more compassion for others, heightened awareness of your purpose, a greater curiosity for learning, a sense of elevated spirituality, even greater awareness of the world we all share and the need to heal and care for our shared planet.

How does this spiritual advancement take place? This may sound basic, but there is nothing without love—for the self and for others. Coming together with a common purpose as we do at my live events fosters this love in amazing ways. You can make yourself ready for a spiritual step up with the practices of energy healing, including meditation, prayer, journaling, forgiveness, and being of service. Meditation and prayer put you directly in communication with Source, while journaling puts you in touch with your own emotions and, along with forgiveness, helps you keep clearing out negative energy. Spirit has a purpose for those who are dedicated to being of service to others.

I have found being present with others to be one of the most powerful tools for healing and spiritual awakening. I love offering live events where many can pursue their spiritual paths in community. Remember the Bible verse, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Mathew 18:20). Your connection to Source grows in the presence of other like-minded seekers. Helping others on their journey is one of the most powerful ways to grow in spirit.

Here are some of the advantages you’ll experience when you join a live event for spiritual study:

Support. The healing energy of many hearts focused together gives you strength and a feeling of unity of purpose. Your efforts seem less difficult when others are working beside you to resolve their challenges.

Selflessness. Feeling that it isn’t all about you is profoundly healing. Others have struggled and suffered, too. You’ll build compassion and experience the joy of releasing ego-centered fears, doubts, and blocks to forgiveness and acceptance.

Learning: You aren’t alone in the challenges and desires you face. Others have worked through problems like yours and achieved amazing results. You will see what is truly possible for you in the example of others who offer a healing role model for advancement and opportunity.

You might also find some wonderful new friends as you work together to step up in spirit. Meditating and praying together satisfies the desire of every heart to connect to Oneness and magnifies the positive healing energy sent forth into the world.[su_note ]There is no better way place to come together with like-minded people than the annual Conscious Life Expo, taking place at the LAX Hilton February 7th-10th. Come join Deborah and six of her esteemed graduate teachers, watch an impressive lineup of speakers, and be in the presence of like minded people. If you can’t make the live Expo, you can still enjoy all of the informative, transformational content from the comforts of your own home via live stream! Get your live stream access here >> [/su_note]