2023-DarkSideBlog-featured

The Perfect Time to Reflect on Your Dark Side

As we enter the “dark” part of the year, with short days and long chilly nights, it’s time to look at the dark forces that we would prefer to ignore. It’s not just the ghosts and goblins of Halloween or the presence of dead relatives on the Day of the Dead that can give us the shivers.

Whether we recognize it or not, everyone has some darkness within. We store our negative feelings—jealousy, anger, bitterness, shame, hatred, insecurity (to name a few)—in our shadow side. When we don’t do the inner work of acknowledging and releasing these disturbing emotions, the shadow side can take charge and cause real problems for someone else.

Take Beth, for example. She was so excited when she got her new job, with a hefty pay increase. Soon, however, she could barely get out of bed, much less drag herself to work. I could see the problem clearly: Beth’s father, although he was outwardly proud of his daughter, was inwardly jealous of her success. He’d been laid off and was having trouble finding a job because he was “too old.” There was a psychic attachment between father and daughter—a negative “cord” that connected them. I taught Beth a powerful shamanic technique that is used to sever negative cords between people while still keeping the positive cords of love and respect. Soon Beth was happy again at work.

The dark side deals with pretty low-level energies. When you are under “attack,” you might find that you feel more tired than usual, have trouble sleeping, come down with one awful cold after another, or just feel blue and miserable. You aren’t functioning in your normal perky and organized way and can’t figure out why. Well, consciously or unconsciously, someone may have formed an intention to harm you.

Does your mother-in-law hate the fact that you stole away her darling son or daughter? That old “evil eye” she gives you is for real. Maybe your ex is still angry at you, even years after you split. Or maybe you have a “frenemy” who can’t stand the fact that you’re in a loving relationship while her marriage has fallen apart.

Most people are unconscious of 90 percent of their thoughts and feelings. Your mother-in-law probably isn’t aware of how she feels about you. Your ex may not realize he’s holding on to such anger. Your frenemy probably thinks you’re her best friend. That’s why I’m forever urging people to meditate and journal—two of the best ways to recognize what you’re really feeling so you can clear those emotions.

You always play a role in whatever happens to you; you aren’t a helpless victim. When you deal with your shadow side and process the negative feelings you have about yourself and about other people, you can transform the negative energy of a psychic attack and stay healthy, happy, and peaceful.

Don’t think psychic attack is too “out there.” It’s real, and happens all the time. However, you can learn to protect yourself from psychic attack and to clear yourself of negative energy.

Don’t be scared of the ghosts and goblins you harbor inside or the dark forces sent your way by others – you can clear them!

It’s all about being able to read your own energy, the energy of others, and gaining the skills and knowledge to heal that which needs healing.

Start your journey by joining our Level I Certification Program (which also grants you access to our private Soul Family community). Click here to take the first step >>

Divinely humble

The Price of Pride: Pinkerton the Pig and Jesus on a Donkey

“Who would care for a sand witch?”

That’s the opening line of one of my favorite children’s books. Hey! Adults can love children’s books too!

It’s called Me First, and it tells the story of a pig named Pinkerton who has to be first for everything. I know we all know somebody like that in our lives.

Anyway, in his haste to be first, Pinkerton thinks he hears someone asking if he’d like a “sandwich” (you know, lunch), while in reality it is a Sand Witch: a mysterious magical creature asking if he will take care of her.

Of course, in his haste to be first, he gets trapped being the servant of the Sand Witch, who ultimately teaches him that first is not always best.

It’s a cute story for growing minds, but the lessons it teaches can resonate with us through life: humble yourself, be kind, first is not always best.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being humble these days as we head into Spring, and with Spring, major holidays for the Abrahamic religions: Passover, Easter, and (later) Ramadan.

In all of these religions, we see the common theme of humbling oneself, as well as the dangers that befall those who choose pride.

Let’s take a look at the Passover Story. Moses leads the Hebrews out of captivity, eventually leading them into the promised land. Moses, a man who humbled himself before his God, was vested with great authority and power in order to save a people, who had been toiling under the crack of Pharaoh’s whip without mercy.

But take a look at Pharaoh for a moment. Here’s a man who when Moses says, “let my people go,” decides “absolutely not.” “Your people are my property.” Pharaoh considered himself to be a living incarnation of Horus, a powerful Egyptian God, and rejected any attempt by this foreign God, to mettle in his affairs.

What happened as a result? Famine, plague, pestilence, death. After every curse, Moses begged Pharaoh, “let my people go,” but this prideful, arrogant man could not humble himself before this foreign God, no matter the might this God showed. Pharaoh, blindly, thought himself to be greater. Ultimately, he and his armies were swept away in the Red Sea and drowned as divine punishment for his inability to see reason and accept defeat with grace.

This is the price of pride. This is the price of looking at the divine and saying, “my way or the highway.” Pride cometh before the fall.

As an inversion of this story, I am struck by the true humility that the Christ showed in his ministries. This coming Sunday is Palm Sunday, a day that Christians mark when Christ rode into Jerusalem.

How did Christ ride into Jerusalem? On a donkey.

I need you to get in the mindset of a citizen of Jerusalem back then. The Messiah was a promised figure who would restore Jerusalem’s independence. He would come in as a conqueror and expel the invaders who had Israel under their yoke.

What do conquerors ride in on? Horses.

Here’s a man – a man who calls himself the Messiah, the savior, who rides in on an ass.

What? That’s not what the Messiah is supposed to look like!

Less than a week later, Christ is executed – crucified for blasphemy. At first glance, you might think, “I don’t get it. He humbled himself and he was still killed. You exalt yourself, you humble yourself; death still comes for you.” In response, I’d ask you to look deeper.

The death of Christ is a sacrifice: it is an inversion of a man who carries the highest god-like vibration, sacrificing for his fellow man. It is the ultimate act of humility. This act of selfless sacrifice was done for humanity, and in the process, the Christ ascended. The lesson: selflessness and humility are righteous. They who exalt themselves shall be humbled. And those who humble themselves shall be exalted.

The Muslim month of Ramadan, coming up in April, is a month of fasting and introspection. The fasting is done to achieve taqwa, or fear of God. Fear meaning awe and reverence. An understanding that the divine is greater than we are, and yet that we encompass it. And this understanding draws us closer to the divine.

No matter your creed, we all understand that these tenets are universal: the first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Think of how many leaders and politicians we’ve seen whose pride has consumed them. Governor Cuomo? Last year, he was the Covid whisperer, with his talks being the fireside chats of the pandemic. Now, he’s battling an inquiry that he deliberately miscounted Covid deaths and sexually harassed employees. He thought he was untouchable. Now, he’ll be lucky if he sees out his term. Or consider “Ellen” who has lost over 1 million viewers, or over 40% of her audience, after acknowledging that there was significant misconduct at her business. So much for branding yourself as the “Be Kind Lady,” a lofty title indeed.

I too have had this very dynamic happen: who among us has not had the experience of pushing ourselves to the top, only to later fall to the bottom, where we have plenty of time to master humility.

Pride cometh before the fall.

I invite you all, as the warmth of Spring melts away the dark of Winter, to keep these truths aloft: those who exalt themselves shall be humbled, those who humble themselves shall be exalted.

Or, as Pinkerton would say, first is not always best.

Woody Allen Family

The Arc of Justice

Woody Allen indicted in the court of public opinion

I can’t imagine watching a Woody Allen movie these days.

Everywhere you look, there are fingerprints of a finely-hidden monster, scrawled like graffiti tags, pulsing in the background of every film.

Barely ten minutes into his old comedy, Bananas, he makes a joke about “advanced child molesting.” And that’s not the only instance, not by a longshot. His scripts are peppered with disturbing and obsessive jokes about abuse, sexual and familial. It’s a real red flag.

I can’t watch his movies anymore, but I did watch Allen v. Farrow – the new HBO docuseries that takes a much-needed critical eye to the story of Woody Allen’s abuse of Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter, Dylan Farrow.

Now, many of you may not remember, but news of Woody Allen’s abuse hit the press back in 1992. At the time, this was a strange and salacious case, filled with “he said’s,” and “she said’s,” and “oh, she’s been coaching her,” and “this is blown out of proportion,” until the whole thing became a weird, unresolved footnote.

Woody Allen kept making movies and winning Oscars. Mia Farrow dropped out of the public eye. Then, in 2014, Dylan Farrow published a letter in The New York Times, pressing her case that Woody Allen had abused her. Again in 2018, she went public, detailing Allen’s abuse and asking, “Why hadn’t #MeToo come for Woody Allen?”

Now, three years later, here we are, with a withering documentary that strips away all of the “he said’s” and “she said’s” to reveal a stark and unflinching view of Woody Allen as a predator and a master manipulator. This is a chilling story of much more than rapacious pedophilia; it’s the story of the unbridled abuse of power.

It starts with Mia.

As I watched the documentary, I was struck by how insidiously Woody Allen dismantled Mia Farrow’s agency over their relationship. Over their thirteen years together, Woody cast Mia in thirteen of his movies. At first glance, that sounds innocuous. But then you realize that Woody Allen was Mia Farrow’s boss. He was writing and directing these movies, which meant he could nix her at any time. He changed her working arrangement so that his agent represented her. Think about that: her husband was now her boss, and she was required to use his agent.

He effectively had her under his thumb. Any money Mia Farrow made was through a Woody Allen project. This is a classic tactic of an abuser: cutting off independence.

Of course, as we know, it doesn’t stop with Mia Farrow. Through the documentary, it is clearly shown how Woody abused Dylan and then orchestrated a clever and forceful PR campaign to hamstring the investigation. To pre-empt the story of child abuse, Woody went public with his relationship with Soon-Yi Previn – Farrow’s other adopted daughter. This PR coup allowed Woody to reframe the abuse allegation as a form of retribution by Mia Farrow: the “spurned woman” who was trying to get revenge against Woody. For having sex with his other daughter. Seriously.

Look at that: Woody Allen turned an abuse allegation against himself into a weapon to hurl back at Mia Farrow. This is abuse of power on steroids.

It is difficult to parse out all of the wrinkles and turns in the investigation, but it becomes quite clear that the vaunted Yale-New Haven Hospital report, which proclaimed that Dylan Farrow was not a credible witness, was a sham. Nine times, a seven-year-old girl was forced to be interviewed by investigators about Woody Allen’s abuse to determine if her story had “any inconsistencies.”

Nine times!

If the story matches nine times out of nine, they cry “coaching.” If anything is inconsistent, they cry “she made the whole thing up.”

Tellingly, all the notes from each of these interviews were destroyed – something very much out of the ordinary. As this part of the documentary aired, it became quite clear that there were serious missteps in the execution of this report. While the documentary hints at potential cover-ups and potential political pressures by the Dinkins mayoral administration in New York City to quash the Allen inquiry, we don’t have the evidence . . . yet.

Woody Allen weaponized this Yale-New Haven Hospital report. He wielded it like a cudgel, suing Farrow for full custody of their children, and suggesting Farrow had coached Dylan and was an unfit mother. The judge, thank God, would have none of it; the court confirmed Mia as a fit parent and said Woody was a threat to Dylan Farrow’s safety.

Look at that. When Allen’s smoke-and-mirror defenses were put before a court of law, they came crumbling down. Which is why it was so disturbing that Woody Allen has never been tried and convicted. For the last thirty years, he’s used his celebrity power to dodge the court of law and has confused the court of public opinion.

This is why Allen v. Farrow is such an important documentary. Through this unflinching lens, the series dismantles Allen’s defenses on small screens across the country, cutting his defenders off at the knees.

It is said that the moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. Woody Allen has managed to keep that arc at bay for thirty years. But thanks to perseverance from Dylan Farrow, and the investigative journalism of Allen v. Farrow, that moral arc has broken back toward justice. Once again, the court of public opinion has become the court of last resort.

When Mia Farrow and Woody Allen were in the midst of separating, he told her that she’d never work in this country again. He blacklisted Mia Farrow for speaking out against his abuse. To this day, she still fears him.

Now, the truth has finally caught up to him. As a result, he’s not found an American distributor for his recent movies. His publishers have pulled out of book deals. I don’t know if he’ll ever see the inside of a jail cell, but, with this documentary, that’s okay, as sunlight is the best disinfectant. The light of truth is wiping away the obfuscation of his abuses against Mia and Dylan. And in bringing these charges to light, Allen’s power withers away.

I invite you all to watch Allen v. Farrow to fully understand how serious and credible these allegations are. Then shake your head that, once again, we, for a bit, let celebrity trump our own instincts for truth. Now, may the truth heal Mia Farrow and her children.

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Senilicide

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Here’s a new word for you: senilicide. Never heard of it? Neither had I, until I started doing some research on elder abuse because of a situation my mother is in at the moment. Senilicide is the killing off of old people. Well, they are the most dispensible in times when there isn’t enough food for everyone. But there are other ways of killing off old folks besides putting them out to sea on that proverbial ice floe. Abandonment in a hospital, for example, rather than letting them die comfortably in their own home. Which is what is happening right now for my mother.

It’s something we all have to think about. Parents get old. They cared for you when you were young, no matter how imperfectly. Heaven knows, my mother was no angel. But don’t they deserve our care and respect at the end of their lives? Most of us will find ourselves in the position of needing to be cared for as the end approaches. How will we be treated?

This has been an upsetting situation for me (as well as for my mother), at a time when I couldn’t do anything about it. I’ve expressed my dilemma in a blog for Psychology Today, called “Facing Senilicide.” You can read it at https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mining-the-headlines/201602/facing-senilicide and then come over to my Facebook page and comment there. Be the change you want to see in social consciousness – it may be you someday that is saved.

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Domestic Violence Awareness on Twitter

Domestic Violence Awareness on TwitterIn honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I’ve compiled a comprehensive list of domestic violence shelters, outreach programs and victim advocates on Twitter. Why Twitter? Twitter is changing how we interact with each other and the rate at which information spreads. If you have access to a computer or own a cell phone, Twitter can instantly connect you with other advocates, spread awareness, find victims help and provide opportunities to network with survivors.

A domestic violence victim myself, I buried my emotions for many years. Replaced the anger and fear with drug and alcohol addiction, promiscuity, bipolar behaviors and an eating disorder. Cancer saved my life. After the cancer diagnosis in my mid-twenties, my path to recovery gave me the chance to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually. Confronting the truth about my past and the sexual abuse I’d endured from a young age, I began to heal. Hopefully, this list will connect you with those who can help you heal or spread awareness about the domestic violence cycle.