Posts in category: Life Coaching

Here you are, in the midst of it yet again. Your computer is acting weird. Your smart phone is even weirder. Your car is making a strange sound. And you just chipped a tooth. What else can go wrong? Well, from September 17^th through October 9^th, anything is possible because it’s once again Mercury retrograde!

Mercury goes retrograde around three or four times every year, and you’re sure that during this time everything that could possibly go wrong will go wrong. How did this association of trouble during Mercury retrograde begin? Ancient astrologers were very skilled in their observations. Because Mercury is the planet closest to the Sun, it has a much shorter orbit around the Sun than Earth does, and there are times when it looks to Earthlings like Mercury is going backwards.

The Roman god Mercury was considered to rule some very important human activities. Mercury was believed to oversee all types of communication, including negotiating, buying, and selling. He ruled all contracts, agreements, and other documents, as well as the realms of transportation, shipping (including mail), and travel. Technology and machines—from computers to kitchen appliances to cars—are also under his care. Any change in Mercury’s appointed rounds could be seen as occasion for trouble.

Are you one of those people who attributes spells of mental confusion and forgetfulness to Mercury retrograde, blaming the stars when you lose your keys or glasses or lock yourself out of your house? Do you really need to hide under your bed until Mercury goes direct once more?

At some point, it would be a good idea to examine if it’s your own fears and negative expectations that color your experience of Mercury retrograde. Or do you want to believe that the stars are throwing extra trouble your way?

What if instead of running faster to escape the effects of Mercury retrograde, you slow down, refocus, and take a closer look at your life? Think how often you simply blast through your days, hardly noticing where you are and what you are doing. You get to work and realize you scarcely remember driving there. You can’t remember what you had for dinner or what you did last Tuesday. You set your coffee down somewhere and have no idea what happened to it. You enter a room and don’t remember what you came for. These are signs that you are not present in the here and now.

Would you make as many missteps or misplace as many things if you were actually paying attention to the present moment? Mercury retrograde is the perfect time to step back and look at your days with the focus, respect, and gratitude they deserve.

Here are seven things you can do to help make this Mercury Retrograde a different kind of experience:

1. Reconnect with your inner self. Reach for greater awareness through the practice of meditation. The more you meditate, the quieter your mind will be. You will be able to be present and feel your feelings.
2. Is there some area of your life that needs healing? Consider working with energy medicine to rebalance and refocus.
3. Practice being flexible. Reframe obstacles as challenges. Embrace the unexpected as a spiritual reminder from the Universe.
4. Practice forgiveness—of yourself as well as of others.
5. Allow plenty of time when you do something so you are not rushed. That way you will be able to bring more awareness to every situation. If you tend to be flighty, learn how to get more grounded.
6. Keep repeating your mantra. It will calm you and give you a more spacious outlook on life. If you don’t have a mantra, I will give you one when you learn to meditate with me.
7. Are your present actions in keeping with what you believe in and what you really want? Think about where you are putting your time and energy. How can you live in closer alignment with your deepest values? 

With a higher level of awareness, with greater presence and attention to life, with energy healing, you will be able to overcome many of your fears, doubts, worries, and negative expectations. The more you expect positive experiences in life, the more likely you are to find them—even during Mercury retrograde!

Have you ever had to prepare for a natural disaster? My friend had moved to Florida and was facing the threat of her first hurricane. She described rushing around to Costco, Home Depot, the supermarket, the drugstore, the gas station—busily getting all the supplies on the Emergency Kit lists. Even four days before the hurricane was due to arrive, all the stores were out of D batteries—the ones needed to power lanterns and fans (nothing like summer in Florida without air conditioning when the power goes out). In the midst of her frantic efforts, she realized she was doing more than simply preparing for whatever might happen, she was also reacting to the situation with fear.

It wasn’t so much the missing batteries (she eventually found a few), but the lack of control when facing Mother Nature on a rampage. Oh, she could make sure she had enough peanut butter and bread and granola bars and plenty of water to survive for days without cooking, but what if her roof blew off? What if the house flooded? Would alligators be roaming around? Water moccasins?

It’s not just the anticipation of a natural disaster like a hurricane that can send us spinning in circles of “what if’s.” Have you ever found yourself facing some sort of threat? Maybe it’s having to see your ex at an event you’re both invited to. Maybe it’s hearing a doctor say those words, “You have cancer.” Maybe it’s coming face to face with your abuser. For me, it was watching my husband fall off a mountain. What if he was dead? What if I fell trying to get to him? What if? What if?

Think of how often you have had thoughts of “what if.” Can you feel the fear behind those thoughts? What, exactly, are you scared of? Try to pinpoint the fear behind the tape looping inside you of “what if.” Examine it. You will find, at least in the previous examples, it comes down to a fear of death (the “you have cancer” scenario), the fear of pain and shame (as in facing your abuser), or the fear of humiliation (meeting up with the ex). Note that all your fears are based on what might happen in the future, not what is happening right now.

The fear might be fed by what has happened in the past. Perhaps a parent or sibling has died of cancer. Perhaps the memory of past abuse overshadows the present. Perhaps the betrayal that led to your ex becoming your ex is a sharp reminder of the pain and humiliation you felt back then.

So there you are—stuck between the past and the future. Can you stop long enough to enter the present? In the here and now, you are fine. And who knows what will happen? Perhaps the cancer is slow growing and easily treated. Perhaps your old abuser will seek your forgiveness. Perhaps your ex, instead of tearing you down, will express gratitude for all he got from the relationship.

When my husband, fell off a mountain we were climbing and sustained a critical brain injury, our lives changed. We lived in a certain quietude, without television or other electronics that were too stimulating for him. His situation led me deeper and deeper into the study of energy medicine, as there was no conventional treatment for his situation, and deeper into the quiet of contemplation. As I watched in horror as he fell from the mountain, I had no idea that fall would eventually lead me from law to alternative health, to ultimately teaching energy healing, and to you.

Here are some possible results of other “what if’s.” What if being diagnosed with a deadly disease leads to your reinventing your lifestyle and getting much healthier all around? What if facing your abuser gives you a sense of self-confidence you never had before? What if meeting up with your ex bolsters your self-esteem?

So what should you do when you find yourself caught in a “what if” moment? For me, meditation, is always the answer. Sit quietly, focused on the mantra I selected for you. (click here if you don’t yet have one, and want me to choose one for you). In that space, there is no past or future, there is only the present. Rest in that space. Now you can make your preparations for whatever “hurricane” may be threatening your peace of mind, without fear.

By the way, that hurricane my friend was facing? Turned out it was nothing but a garden variety tropical storm.

How will you learn the secret of life? Not, I assure you, by Googling it. Vast amounts of information are available to us via the Internet, but no website or app will be able to bring you into harmony with your inner being, which is where you have to go in order to really know who you are and why you are here.

So what do you have to do? Unplug and go outside. It may seem like a contradiction that in order to connect with your inner world you should go to the outer world, but there is something special that happens when you go out into nature. Our bodies are made of the same substance as our Mother Earth. When you are in her presence, when you can feel the sand between your toes and hear the waves crashing on the beach, when you walk through the dappled light of the forest, when you taste the sweet seasonal fruits, you are finding your core.

The cold and snowy winter is over. The spring flowers have bloomed. It’s summertime—the season to eat, sleep, and dream outdoors! Read more of my thoughts about this simple secret of life on the Huffington Post at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/the-secret-of-life_1_b_7493966.html