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You Are More Loveable Than You Know

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when the romance industry bombards you with commercials for
Valentine’s Day, but if you don’t have someone who will send you flowers and chocolates or take you on a romantic sunset cruise, you may not be enjoying this week very much.

Maybe you’re sitting on your couch at home in front of the TV watching all those gorgeous stars strut around in designer gowns and jewels on the award show circuit, and you’re comparing your body—without the help of personal trainers and home chefs—to theirs, and your life—not rich or glamorous—to theirs. You see the winners thank the magnificent love of their lives, the one without whom they never could have won this award, and you sigh over their perceived happiness—which you, in your not-even-designer bathrobe, believe you will never have, because you’ve decided that you are somehow utterly unlovable. But that belief is so wrong! You are more loveable than you know, and can become more loveable to others with a little shift in perspective.

Society teaches that your worth as a person, as a human being, is based on youth, beauty, money, power, romantic relationships, and status. After years of internalizing these messages, you may feel that your self-worth truly is based on these external factors, and when you don’t have all of them—because, honestly, who does?—you will constantly feel as if you are not good enough; as if your body and soul are not enough for you to deserve love and happiness, while everyone around you seems to have met their perfect match. With this perspective, you’ll find that the grass will always be greener in someone else’s yard, and the major source of green in your life will be envy.

Perhaps envy is not new to you. Did you grow up with siblings who were better at everything than you were? Or with parents who belittled your actions or ideas or dreams? Were you teased or bullied at school? Did your friends have all the things you didn’t? Did you think you were somehow unlovable and alone? And did all these slights carry over into your adult life with your business or romantic partners? Sometimes it’s easier to believe all the negative things you think about yourself than to appreciate yourself and believe you are worthy of love. As a spiritual teacher and energy healer who deals with thousands of broken hearts I can tell you the good news is that when you change the way you think about and treat yourself, the rest will simply fall into place.

 

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So it’s time to get emotionally honest with yourself. If your relationships have not been turning out the way you wish, maybe it is you—but not that you’re unlovable. Maybe you seem unlovable because you are not loved by the most important person in your life: you.

But what exactly does it mean to love yourself? Here’s what it doesn’t mean. Loving yourself does not mean that you will be forever happy and never experience sadness or despair or anger again. It doesn’t mean that you act like you are better than everyone else. You are not loving yourself if you become so self-centered that you go after what you want without caring who gets hurt along the way. Acting out of ego is not the same as loving yourself; ego is false love, and satisfying the ego with status or money, a new car or a fancy wardrobe, is never going to nurture your soul. Self-worth cannot be bought or forced, it must be earned with patience, kindness, and getting in touch with your true emotions.

What loving yourself does mean is that you stop berating yourself for who you are not. You stop judging yourself so harshly, and stop the constant criticizing of what you look like, who you are, and the life you lead. Loving yourself means living your truth, which of course means you have to first find your truth, which can be done with energy medicine or energy healing courses and workshops. When you finally accept yourself, you understand that feeling your own pain is a major step in healing, and that it is good work to cry and process that pain in order to move on. Journaling, meditation, and other techniques that help to clear your body and chakras of negative energy can also help you move toward discovering and loving the real you.

When you love yourself, you also realize that it’s time to sever any damaging relationships. You gain the strength to finally divorce or break up with someone who is abusive to you, or confront someone who has hurt you, or look for a job that validates your talents, or start a recovery program for whatever substance you might be abusing. When you love yourself, you also become better at trusting your instincts, so there will be fewer of those negative relationships and unsatisfying jobs in the future.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about red roses and heart-shaped boxes of candy—it can be about getting to know yourself so you can learn to love yourself. As long as you continue to berate yourself for not being perfect even though no one is perfect; as long as you spend your time being convinced you are unlovable; as long as you feel that you are not good enough, you will never find love outside yourself because it has to first exist within you.

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Meditate Like a Star

Have you ever wondered how celebrities do everything in their lives? How do they have the time and energy to work long hours, strive to have a relationship, and get in time every day at the gym to keep their bodies red carpet ready? Most of all, how do they cope with the stress of their jobs, the ups and downs of their reputations, and the fact that they will soon be replaced? It’s simple… the ones who aren’t drowning in drink or drugs hold themselves together by meditating!

If it’s good enough for Oprah, who runs an entire media empire, it’s probably good enough for us! I’ve always found it truly amazing how big a difference meditation makes in my onw life, and how much more ready I am to tackle my insane schedule after I’ve spent time meditating, going deep into inner realms.

You can read more about celebs and meditation in a blog I’ve just posted on HuffPo http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/why-do-these-celebs-medit_b_6593894.html

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4 Reasons to Forgive

Forgiveness is an essential part of healing. When you have suffered a wrong, or even a perceived wrong, the resulting hurt and anger can burrow deep into your heart and energy field and begin to fester. The longer you harbor the resentment and bitterness instead of forgiving the wrong, the higher the chances that those negative feelings will cause discord in your system, creating blocks in your chakras and eventually, physical symptoms and illness. Forgiveness is not easy for anyone. Trust me, I know. It took years of intense personal work through energy healing for me to be able to forgive my father for his abuse, and my mother for her blind eye and cold shoulder. If you have experienced severe betrayal or violence, abandonment or abuse, especially from a trusted family member or caretaker, forgiveness might seem like an impossible feat. It does take courage, but you can do it, and your life will improve a hundred times over once you do.

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Here are just a few of the reasons to practice forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness makes you feel better. Forgiveness takes the power away from the hurt or wrong and helps you to let it go. As long as you hold on to resentment or anger it can manifest in your life as depression, self-blame, guilt, loss of motivation, revenge fantasies, anxiety, and other emotional and mental issues, as well as physical health problems, especially those related to the heart chakra, including asthma, pneumonia, breast or lung cancer. When you forgive, you take a large step forward in healing yourself. Studies suggest that forgiveness improves the function of the immune system, and research has shown that pain levels decrease when patients forgive inner hurts. This is because forgiveness releases the clouds of darkness those negative emotions create in your field and body, and allows for light energy to fill those holes, which charges and energizes your whole being.

2. Forgiveness is not excusing. I want to make sure you understand that forgiveness is not excusing what someone did to you. There are likely very real betrayals and traumas in your life that are not excusable, and you should not have to feel like you need to minimize what happened to you. What forgiveness does entail is letting go of the residual emotions like resentment, anger, hurt, and bitterness that stem from what happened. Forgiving means you stop feeling hostile, that you let go of any need or desire for revenge or retribution. This is not a weakness; quite the opposite, in fact. It takes a ton of strength and courage to forgive, and if you can manage it, it will speed up your spiritual progress as well as set you free.

3. Guilt impedes your healing process. Guilt is a parasitic emotion. It eats at you from the inside, churning your stomach and making you tense, and not doing you any good. The only potential it has is spurring you to own up to your mistakes as best you can and to learn from them. Then you must move on, which includes forgiving yourself. Self-forgiveness is possibly more important than forgiving others, as you have to live with yourself every second of every day. If you are constantly beating yourself up over past mistakes, that blame and anger can cause blockages in your personal energy field. If you don’t forgive yourself, you put yourself at risk. If you already have a health problem like cancer or another disease, you must remember that it is not your fault! You were working with what you knew at that time, and you cannot control pollutants or genetics or abusers. There is nothing to be gained from wishing you could change the past, and self-blame only does further harm. As a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I encourage students to learn from the disease and then move on by forgiving yourself and letting it go. It is the only way to heal.

4. Forgiveness is for you, not them. The only person who suffers from a grudge is you. Holding onto the desire for revenge, or any other hostile emotion regarding someone who wronged you, doesn’t actually harm them the way you might want it to. In fact, it backfires, and causes you tremendous damage.

When you forgive, you lift a weight off your chest that you probably didn’t realize you were carrying, but you will feel so much lighter and freer once it’s been removed. When I finally realized one day that after years of journaling, meditating prayer, and energy medicine techniques, I no longer felt any hatred or bitterness toward my parents, it was like I was reborn. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I felt utterly uplifted.You will, too.

If you have tried to forgive and are having trouble releasing your anger or hostility, try journaling about your feelings, which sets them free from your body and energy field and allows for fresh universal energy to fill that space. I also highly recommend you take one of my energy healing courses, which will give you plenty of techniques for processing and releasing your emotions so you can become healthier and happier. Lastly, be patient with yourself. Forgiveness can be very difficult, and can take time. But it is so worth the effort to be able to be free of the chains of guilt and bitterness, and move forward in creating the life you want.

Selma

Marching to Selma

I saw “Selma” this weekend. This movie tells the story of Martin Luther King, Jr. and the historic march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama, that led to the passage of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. It does much more than give us a picture of what happened fifty years ago in the fight for civil rights. It ties in to what is happening in the US right now—to young African-Americans being killed by police, to protests that still use nonviolence as a means of being heard, and the grace and extraordinary courage of ordinary citizens who are determined to bring about justice for all.
It’s a powerful film that gives a new look at an American icon. Most people today know little about Martin Luther King Jr. other than his “I have a dream” speech and a national holiday that means a day off. In the film, we see him as the father of four children, a husband trying to make his marriage work, a gifted preacher who was an ordinary man that got caught up in a particular moment of history and did great things. But it also shows us that King did not do this alone. It gives insight into the leadership of others fighting the good fight for equal voting rights like John Lewis, a Congressional representative since 1987, who was a young leader of the civil rights movement at King’s side.

I am not troubled by the claimed factual inaccuracies (that happens with every historical film), especially in regard to the role of LBJ; it’s impossible to tell the full story of the three years covered in the film. And since it was directed by Ava DiVernay, an African-American woman, it comes from a black perspective—in itself a refreshing difference from history textbooks. Bill Moyers was recently interviewed about “Selma” and he said, “…it’s good to be reminded of a time when courage on the street is met by a moral response from power.”
It’s such an important film to see that a “Selma for Students” movement arose to offer thousands of free tickets to middle-school children across the country this past weekend as Martin Luther King Jr. Day is being celebrated.

On Sunday, Oprah Winfrey (one of the film’s producers and an actor in the film) and others from the cast along with a thousand ordinary people walked across the bridge in Selma to remind everyone that the civil rights struggles from the 1960s are not over; we are still living in a land that fails to provide equal justice for all. But the march yesterday was a far cry from the scene on March 7, 1965 when billy clubs and tear gas stopped the marchers from walking 50 miles to the capital of Alabama in Montgomery in order to get the right to register to vote. “Bloody Sunday” reminds us, yet again, that when we don’t see everybody as one, when we discriminate against others based on their race or religion or sexual orientation, blood is shed, innocents die, and hatred in the heart is reflected in leering faces like that of then Alabama governor George Wallace.

Hollywood somehow missed the boat on “Selma” by not nominating either its star, David Oyelowo, or its director. In fact, this year there was not a solitary person of color nominated for an Oscar in any acting category, the first time since 1998 that has happened—a snub that went deep since it came just before the MLK holiday. And a reminder that the Academy is 93 percent white and 76 percent male, with an average age of 63—much like the old white men in the South who tried to silence the voices of those not like themselves.

This movie is a “must see.” Do not miss the chance to understand the true nature of courage, to remember why we have to do whatever it takes to root out the seeds of prejudice from our own hearts, and to stand up fearlessly for justice and equality for all.

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Kick Off a New Healthier and Happier You!

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Beginnings are important. The first page of a book, the first line of a movie, a first encounter, the first month of a new year—they all set the tone for what’s to come. Think about how often the tone of your morning sets the tone for the day. Similarly, how you begin this new year and the behaviors you establish this month can set the tone for next twelve months, so you want to make it good!

January sees an increase in gym memberships and dieting, an up in detox meal plans and walks. Everyone wants to be healthier, and they figure that if they start the year off right, the positive momentum will keep them on track the rest of the year.

Real Healing Comes from Within

The problem is that fad diets and other thirty-day quick fixes don’t actually heal you, and therefore can’t really eliminate the negative behaviors you’re trying to put behind you. Real healing has to come from the inside and must treat your whole being, getting at the root of the issue. If your unhealthy habits are fueled by an old trauma or suppressed emotions—and nearly all bad habits are—you won’t be able to fully conquer the habit until you’ve dealt with the underlying emotional and energetic causes. This is where energy healing and meditation come in.

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Energy healing heals all of you. It clears up emotional blockages in your chakras so they can move energy in and out between your field and the universal field, keeping you recharged and replenished. Energy healing also gives you the tools to process current emotions to prevent further buildup. Not only does meditation heal you, it also expands your awareness, and brings you closer to Source and your higher self. With the guidance of your higher self, you become able to glimpse your true soul purpose, the reason you are here on Earth, which helps you stay more closely aligned with that purpose and speeds up your spiritual progress. All these benefits and more from something that you can do from home in just minutes each day!

Meditation really is the best way to jump into energy healing, and it’s my best recommendation for how to kick off this new year healthfully and set a calm, collected, and centered tone for your 2015.

Here are three tips for successfully beginning and maintaining a meditation practice:

 

  1. Do it daily.

Meditation is like wine: it only gets better with time. It is an incremental process that re-sets your physiology and psyche. Done daily, it decreases stress, slows heart rate, reduces blood pressure, improves sleep, turns back the clock, as well as spiritual expansion and increased connection to the Divine. Twenty minutes, twice a day is ideal. Try meditating first thing in the morning, to start your day refreshed and centered. Keep in mind as you begin that every single person in the world can learn to meditate. Like anything else, with practice it becomes easier.

 

  1. Schedule it!

You’ll need to schedule your daily meditation time, just like you do your gym time or walking your dog or hair appointments. It’s that important! In the meditation technique I teach, you’ll see that I encourage you to meditate before you leave the bedroom in the morning, before the pressures of your day hit. Early morning is also the most powerful time of the day for you to connect with Spirit – right around sunrise is ideal.

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  1.  Learn from a spiritual teacher.

Some of the mainstream meditation teachings put an emphasis on simple relaxation or tell you to empty your mind while meditating. How in the world do you do that! No wonder so many people give up! Instead, in the meditation technique I teach, I teach you to focus on a special mantra I choose just for you, which allows you to float just outside your thoughts and keeps you from getting restless.

No matter what you’re hoping to cultivate in this new year, meditation can help you. It improves every aspect of your being, just like energy medicine, and with continued meditation, all the pieces of your life will seem to make just a little more sense. Meditation can help you begin this year with more balance, clarity, peace, health, and happiness. I hope you will start right now!

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Have a Happier Home for the Holidays

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Going home for the holidays is never as simple as it sounds. Whether you are literally traveling home to the place you grew up or simply gathering together with the people you grew up with, you are probably going to interact with family and old friends in the coming weeks. While there is a lot to enjoy about reuniting with loved ones, there are also some uncomfortable emotions that arise at these get-togethers as you likely have at least one person in your family who pushes your buttons or stirs up issues and emotions that are less than joyful. But you don’t have to let it spoil your cheer! With the help of these energy medicine techniques, you can improve your relations with your relatives, and have a happier, calmer, more fun home—literally or figuratively—this holiday season.

 

  1. Embrace forgiveness.

 

Family can be a mixed blessing, and the holidays can bring up long-standing issues between loved ones. Perhaps you and your cousin had a fight about something when you were teens and neither of you seems to be able to move past it, or maybe you felt betrayed by a loved one and are still waiting for an apology even though it’s been years. Whatever the issue is, seeing the person who wronged you, especially at a time when you are supposed to feel love and joy, can be make you depressed, anxious, or angry.

 

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This year, try forgiving your loved one. Carrying a grudge is so much more detrimental to your own health and wellbeing than it is to theirs, creating blocks in your chakras and hindering your spiritual progress. When you finally let that anger and resentment go, you will feel free, like a huge weight has been lifted from your chest and heart. Through energy healing, I was able to forgive my father for his abuse and my mother for her blind eye and coldness, and I have witnessed first-hand at my healing courses the relief of so many students who muster up the courage to forgive. Meditation, working with a spiritual teacher or energy healer, and journaling about your feelings are great ways to boost the process of forgiveness.

 

It’s not always easy, but forgiveness allows you to process the trauma and release it for good, clearing out all the negativity attached to the grudge and smoothing out your interactions with the person in the future. You will probably find that your shift in attitude toward them will create a similarly positive effect towards you, and you’ll both feel better. Even if the person doesn’t forgive you back, your internal response will be less reactionary and heathier for your mind, body, and soul—and your holidays! Forgiveness is the best gift you can give yourself this year.

 

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  1. Don’t engage in negativity.

 

You probably have that family member who just likes to push your buttons to see when you’ll pop. For many of my students that person is a mother or mother-in-law, who picks and criticizes, and makes snide remarks or backhanded compliments about everything from their clothes to their cooking. Another common family dynamic that creates negativity is sibling rivalry, which can lean to uncomfortable competitiveness or nights of each sibling trying to one-up the other at every turn. Tense family interactions can be fueled by a range of emotions including jealousy, fear, insecurity, shame, bitterness, spite, and a million other feelings that are bubbling all year but often seem to emerge during the holiday season.

 

Whenever possible, don’t engage in the drama. If your sister says for the fifth time that her mashed potatoes are better than yours, or your father-in-law mentions again that you paid too much for your house, just let it wash over you without soaking into your skin. Use the energy healing methods you’ve learned to maintain an emotional distance, call upon the calm and peace you’ve gained through meditation and grounding, and use your expanded awareness to view the situation from a place of love and forgiveness and just let it all go. Don’t snap back, but instead change the direction of the conversation or say something like, “Thank you for your opinion.” A fight can only escalate if both parties participate, so if you take a step back, the negativity will usually fizzle out.

 

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  1. Focus on renewing your healthy relationships.

 

Just as you have someone in your family who enjoys making you feel bad, I’m sure you also have at least one person in your family or friend group who makes you feel loved and appreciated. Focus on those positive, affirming relationships! Cultivating healthy relationships is an important part of feeling good about yourself and keeping your chakras and energy field clear and charged. When you surround yourself with people who have similar values, and who respect and appreciate you for who you are, your energy field doesn’t get drained the way it does around negative Nellies.

 

So let those in your life who support and care for you know how much you appreciate them at your next family gathering. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate gesture—though chocolate never hurt anyone in moderation—but take a moment to show or tell your loved that they’re important to you. Remember, they are probably feeling some of the same tensions you feel during these family get-togethers, so a nice moment with you is sure to life their spirits. This also engages you in the practice of gratitude, which will help shift your perspective into the positive.

 

However you spend your holidays, and whoever you spend your time with, keep in mind that the true purpose of this season is to spread light and love to others, through your words, your actions, and your attitude. Be the light you want to see and it will radiate out and then reflect back to you, creating concentric circles of light and love that extend far beyond you and your family and bring happiness for the holidays and joy to the world.

 

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True Love is Closer Than You Think!

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Around Valentine’s Day, retailers from Macy’s to Rite Aid start selling love-themed gifts in displays with red and pink heart decorations and images of diaper-clad cupids with their love bows and heart arrows. Bouquets of roses and ads for lingerie, champagne, and chocolates are everywhere. It’s enough to make even the happiest of couples feel pressured to act more romantic. And for those of you who are not currently in a relationship, this candy-coated holiday may leave you feeling more sour than sweet.

But true love is closer than you think. You only need to look in the mirror.

Many of those I help ask me how they can find love. As a trained Energy Healer, I often sense a blockage in the fourth chakra—the heart chakra. With a bit of probing I discover that my client is still affected by a past break-up or rejection, an abusive partner, childhood traumas, and many more emotionally charged events that have settled in their energy field.

Take my student, Paula, for example. I sensed in her energy field a toxic residue from a previous relationship. She had been cheated on repeatedly and lied to by her last partner, a man who finally stomped Paula’s heart into dust and left her broken. That emotionally abusive man also left a psychic wound that prevented Paula from trusting or loving anyone, including herself. As long as that wound went untreated, she would not be open to accepting love, despite how desperately she wanted it.  As I helped to heal her heartache, I asked Paula two life-changing questions: Do you love yourself? Do you feel worthy of love?

Tears poured out of Paula’s eyes as she shook her head, no, and she is not alone. It’s amazing how many people answer no to both questions, often in a choked whisper as they realize what this means. How can they ever hope to find love without first loving themselves? How can they allow anyone to love them if they don’t feel they deserve to be loved? Like Paula, these poor students’ hearts are literally frozen; no wonder they can’t find love.

If this sounds like you, please don’t despair. You can still learn to love, and love better, by first learning how to love yourself. Here are five easy steps you can take right now to begin to find your one true love: yourself.

1. Know You Are Worthy of Love

This is the first step. You have to believe that you are loveable, that you deserve to be loved. In my healing courses and workshops, I help you understand that no matter what your mom or dad or first crush or high school boyfriend or first partner said or did that made you feel unworthy of love—they are wrong. I cannot comment on their issues, but I can tell you that you deserve love. You are already loved by the Divine, constantly and unconditionally, and knowing this is the gateway to being able to accept love first from yourself, and then from others.

2. Forgive Your Imperfect Self

We are often more willing to forgive others for their mistakes than ourselves. Many of my students are their own harshest critics, making lists of perceived failures and other reasons they are “not good enough” to be loved, and creating a self-perpetuating cycle of rejection and loneliness. You are not perfect, but no one is. Forgive yourself for those past errors, accept yourself for who you are, and live with positive intentions.

3. Practice Self-Love

This might sound strange to those of you who were taught that loving yourself was the same as bragging; that you were selfish if you took care of your own needs first. But love is like emergency oxygen masks in an airplane: just as you must put on your own mask before assisting others, you must love yourself first in order to love others next. So begin each day by practicing self-love. Breathe love in before you get out of bed. Use a journal to keep track of moments you’re proud of, or make a list of your strengths. If you keep a gratitude list (which I highly recommend) be sure to add things about yourself you are thankful for. Love yourself as you are—an imperfect being moving toward the light.

4. Work on Your Spiritual Development

Connecting to the infinite love of Source will help you connect to earthly love as well. Begin with a daily practice of meditation and not only will you begin to experience a sense of calm and peace, you will also attune your body, mind, and soul to an energy that can begin to clear your emotional blocks. Developing your spiritual practice, whatever that means for you, can open your chakras so that you can accept the love that is sure to come your way.

5.  Get Rid of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are like black mold to your energy field. Once that negativity gets a foothold, it will spread and spread until it has choked off your access to the light. And like with black mold, it’s not enough to clear away each flare-up, you need to cut it off at the root. If possible, remove yourself from the abusive partner or friend who disguises insults as compliments.  If elimination is not possible, protect yourself spiritually by creating a psychic shield.

The truth of the season is that you are your one and only true love—so indulge in a little soul pampering and be sweet to yourself. Let Valentine’s Day be a catalyst for your own self-love rituals. You may even want to take yourself on a moonlit beach walk or buy yourself a special outfit. And if you want it, external love won’t be far behind.

Snow-Date

Have The “Perfect Holiday” on Your Terms!

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“Christmas, my child, is love in action.
Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.” ~ Dale Evans

 

Whatever holidays you celebrate between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve, you might find yourself anticipating the upcoming festivities with more dread than joy. Who can blame you? For many, the holidays are way too full of unrealistic expectations and that nagging feeling that you owe yourself and your family the “perfect holiday” no matter what financial, emotional or family challenge you’re facing.

 

The way I see it, common holiday gripes fall into three categories:

 

I can’t afford it! If it’s hard to make ends meet under normal circumstances, the additional cost of buying gifts, mailing out cards, and putting up holiday decorations – plus splurging on festive clothing, and holiday meals – can make your bank account scream for mercy.

 

I don’t have time!  Wondering how to heap all the extra holiday chores on top of your normal workload?  Wish you could skip some (or all) of the decorating, shopping and entertaining? Doing the holidays up right is a big job, especially when you’re also juggling family, work, and household obligations (and who isn’t?).

 

My extended family makes me crazy! Unresolved family issues from the far and recent past are often exacerbated by the holidays.  As an energy healer, I can assure you that memories of holidays and special occasions, good or bad, lodge in your psyche – and come flooding back every year. Unresolved family issues, resentment, trauma and abuse come to the surface when everyone gathers, and what was supposed to be a season of brotherly love can become a pressure cooker of stress and anxiety!

 

You can take control of the holidays, and have a light filled season on your own terms. Here are some tips that you owe it to yourself to try:

 

Scale it down. Got time or financial constraints? Give yourself a pass on any events or obligations that you can’t (or don’t want to) handle.  Henry David Thoreau may have been on to something when he said, “Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.” If you’re dreading attending a fancy event, quote Thoreau to yourself and blow it off in favor of something that gives you real joy – like cuddling up on the couch drinking hot chocolate and watching The Good Wife! Scaling down goes for gifts, cards, travel, or anything else that doesn’t contribute to your true enjoyment of the season.

 

Give yourself and your family the gift of forgiveness. Hit the “reset button” with your family. Spend time before the holidays journaling about each of your family members, and consciously forgiving them for past wrongs. You don’t have to forget, I fact, pushing down negative feelings is the worst thing you can do! Simply acknowledge your feelings about the person or event, and choose to forgive them. You will feel a sense of relief and lightness that will carry you through the season. While you’re at it, forgive yourself in advance for tackling the holiday on your own terms – skip the guilt if you choose not to bake, send out cards, or buy gifts.

 

Experience the joy of helping others! Being of service is the key to your own enlightenment and balance. Spreading your light to others less fortunate is especially important during the holidays, and it can be accomplished in small ways that bring joy to the giver as well as the recipient! Bring cookies to someone ill or alone, sing in a choir, donate clothes or small gifts to the needy, or just make a special effort to have a kind word for the harried service people who are working extra hard this season. When you take the pressure and stress off yourself by approaching the holidays on your own terms, it gives you the spiritual bandwidth to help others!

 

Take care of yourself.  Don’t let holiday obligations cause you to put your own spiritual and health practices aside.  Make sure you schedule time for yourself to meditate, exercise and journal. This will keep your mind clear and your spirit light – allowing you to enjoy the season and spread that joy to others around you. Get plenty of rest, and don’t go overboard on rich food or drink.

 

The goal of tackling the holidays on your own terms is to finish the season with an abundance of joy and more light. Make time for the things that you love about the holidays, and skip the rest! You’ll wake up in January ready to tackle the New Year – without finding yourself in the hole when it comes to your finances, your health, or your spirit!

D&G

David and Goliath

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I usually don’t venture into the land of politics, but I am watching to see if Initiative 522 in the state of Washington will pass or not as they continue to count votes there. I, for one, would like to see labels on food that tell us if we’re about to consume genetically-modified ingredients. Of course, the money is on the side of those who don’t want truth in labeling, which could hurt the bottom line.

 

I’m also interested in this particular battle because I’m fascinated by one of the major contributors to the YES on 522 campaign—David Bronner, the grandson of the founder of Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. This is one David who is not afraid of taking on the Goliaths of agribusiness.

 

Under his command, half the profits of the company go to activism and donations to charity. He not only walks his talk, he proudly proclaims his truth on the labels of that tingly pure castile peppermint soap. And he still endorses his grandfather’s belief in an All-One philosophy.

 

To read more about this remarkable man, who is living his passionate life purpose and standing tall in his truth, read my blog on the Huffington Post at … https://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/david-bronner-versus-the-gmo-goliath_b_4227934.html

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The Divine Masculine

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We’ve all heard a lot about the Divine Feminine as women have become more aware of how the connection to the “goddess within” empowers them, but what has happened to men’s awareness? Have they been so ensconced in their patriarchal positions that they haven’t needed to connect to divine masculine archetypes? Men, it seems to many women, have been the problem in their lives, not their divine counterparts.

Before the Western world congealed around the big three patriarchal religions—Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—there were multiple gods and goddesses. Both had their roles, and both were divine reflections for men and women. Early Jewish tradition included the worship of the goddess Ashera along with the male Yahweh. Early Christianity gave far more importance to Mary Magdalene as the disciple Jesus loved best, before her subsequent demotion as a prostitute would indicate. When God became a distant, jealous, and vengeful male deity, women were relegated to supporting or demeaning roles.

In the last decades, the goddess traditions have come into their own for many women. And as these women grow stronger in their self-esteem and honor the divinity within themselves, they look around and wonder where the men are who will accompany them on their journey toward wholeness. What would those men be like? Even more than that, what does the divine masculine look like—in both men and women? Let’s take a brief look at the archetypal energies of the divine masculine, which include the King, Priest, Sage, Warrior, and Lover.

The King (in his fullness) has unyielding strength of character and inspires and unites his realm, which he serves alongside his Queen, who is an equal partner. He brings order and safety, combining strength with right action and wisdom. He is a stabilizing force and can calmly support and nurture the well-being of those in his care. He has a transpersonal selflessness, like a kind-hearted father. He knows that everything changes, everything is as it should be, and there is nothing to fear. This benevolent leadership is seen in men like Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and some CEOs of companies that take into account the well-being of their employees as well as the well-being of the planet.

The Priest archetype is that of spiritual awareness directed inward—the insight needed to aid in the enlightenment of the self. He facilitates between the physical and spiritual worlds, between the personality and the Spirit. He knows how to transmute energies and to reach a higher perspective. He is not pushed or pulled by inner or outer storms.

The Sage is closely aligned with the Priest, but adds the aspect of dharma, right action. He is detached from the flow of ordinary life, choosing to be wise about whatever is needed for harmony. He is connected with spirit while staying grounded in his connection with the earth, the source of his wisdom. While the Priest is focused inwardly, the Sage’s service is outward, manifesting the wisdom he channels.

The Warrior archetype is the most honored by the mainstream patriarchal society, but not in his fullness. The true warrior is a protector, not an invader. A true warrior has the courage to serve the highest good, even when it challenges him personally. In other words, he is loyal to the greater good beyond any chance of personal gain. He fights “the good fight”—the inner battle with his own ego. He makes you feel safe, not oppressed by his protection.

The Lover is a primal archetype, often misunderstood. In his fullness, the Lover is a man of heart and wisdom, combining Eros and Spirit—the urge to bond and unite. He is passionately engaged with life and interested in all forms of sensuality without shame. You can touch his mind, body, and soul. He appreciates beauty in all its forms. He may be a good husband and father, or head a non-profit working to heal the world.

Wholeness, of course, doesn’t separate the divine masculine and the divine feminine into the male and female genders. Wholeness requires that both our inner feminine and our inner masculine are balanced. It’s not just men who need to honor the divine feminine within themselves as well as in their women, but women also need to honor the divine masculine in themselves as well as in their fathers, husbands, sons, and lovers. Let us evolve in consciousness so we transcend the duality of male and female and honor both Isis and Osiris, Radha and Krishna, Mary and Jesus, yin and yang as they live within us in harmony and balance and true divine love.

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Isis: Goddess of Healing

Isis: Goddess of HealingIsis is a goddess who is a totally timeless expression of the Divine Feminine; she is as relevant today as she was in ancient times. Devoted to empowering others, Isis supports the awakening of humanity as we head into a new World Age. She brings value and respect to the roles of wife and mother, is the patron of magic, nature, and healing, and is considered a protector of the dead. As a matter of fact, the singer Rihanna recently had a very large tattoo done below her breasts of Isis with her wings outstretched as a tribute to her late grandmother. It is said that Isis stretches her wings over the foot of the casket to protect the dead.

Her compassion, love, and tenderness have made her especially dear to women throughout time. As the protector of women, Isis helped women in childbirth and comforted women when their loved ones died. She shows us that women have great reservoirs of strength and inspiration.

Isis reconnects us with our innate healing powers, and so is beloved by healers. She supports everyone’s quest to reclaim their individual power and take responsibility for their healing journey. She shows us our ability to heal ourselves and to heal others. Isis can help to awaken your healing abilities and healing intuition, your ability to communicate with the physical body and to intuit any needs you may have for healing. She empowers you to use the healing power of love and gratitude and to raise the energy level of the physical body by connecting to Source.

In the myths of ancient Egypt, Isis and her brother/husband Osiris were the divine rulers of the gods. Overcome by envy and seeking to gain more power and control, her brother Set killed Osiris. Everything Isis does is done with great power and intention. Her grief over the death of her husband was so great that it was said her tears of sorrow caused the Nile to flood. Isis is actually one of a very few deities that have wings in Egyptian mythology, which in her case may represent the wind. In the Osiris legend it is said that Isis wailed and moaned like the wind. These days, we often conceal our grief, and are expected back at work the day after a funeral. We have forgotten how to mourn, how to honor the process of grieving. Isis reminds us that grief is a powerful part of our experience in life and should not be repressed. Grief that is not expressed can eventually become physical illness.

The basis of the Isis-Osiris myth is the wheel of life, death, and rebirth, with Isis as the Giver of Life as well as the Queen of the Underworld and the Guide to the Dead—representing the deep mysteries of the feminine ability to create and to bring forth life, even from death. Isis couldn’t accept the death of Osiris and used her abilities to resurrect him, at least long enough to conceive their child Horus, who became the God of the Sun as Isis was Goddess of the Moon. When Set “killed” Osiris a second time, Isis collected the remains and performed the very first embalming.

Isis is also known as the Lady of the Words of Power. In another myth, Isis tricks Ra, the God of the Sun, into revealing his secret name by making a snake bite him, and she is the only one who can cure him. Ra was an uncaring deity, and the world suffered under his reign. When Isis uttered his secret name, Ra was healed, but she was able to claim his powers of life and death and soon became the most powerful of the Egyptian gods and goddesses, using her powers to benefit the people. Once she had his secret name, she had the power to manifest and create with words. So Isis reminds us of the power of our words and cautions us to choose our words carefully. Isis often is implored to “use the true name of Ra” during rituals.

Not much survives about the ancient Egyptian rituals for Isis, but it is clear that both priests and priestesses officiated at her cult. By the Greco-Roman era, many of her priests and priestesses were considered to be healers with special powers, which included the interpretation of dreams and the ability to control the weather by braiding or not combing their hair (the Egyptians believed knots had magical powers).

Isis had a central role in Egyptian magic spells and ritual, especially those of protection and healing. When her son Horus was wounded, she healed him with the power of her milk, and that became a standard feature of Isis’s healing spells that invoked the curative powers of the milk of Isis. As a healer, Isis also used spells, a healing rod, and sacred rattles and cymbals. Together with the god Thoth, she taught mankind the secrets of medicine.

The ancient Egyptian goddess has many gifts to share with modern men and women and is a symbol of the return of the Divine Feminine. Isis embodies the strengths of the feminine, the capacity to feel deeply about relationships, and the source of sustenance and protection.
The myth of Isis and Osiris also remind us of the need for renewal and reconnection in our relationships, as well as a reminder to acknowledge and accept our emotions.

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Mary Magdalene and the Essence of the Divine Feminine

July 22nd is the Feast of Mary Magdalene and a good time to celebrate the archetype of the Divine Feminine. Actually, you could call the Magdalene the first feminist as well as the first and foremost of the disciples. Mary Magdalene is one of my spiritual guides, and a powerful presence!

Forget the story you heard of her being a prostitute. Even the Vatican has recanted on that one, although it took them until the 1960s to admit her image as a prostitute was not supported by the text of the Bible. An early pope, Pope Gregory the Great, mixed up Mary Magdalene with another New Testament woman who was a reformed prostitute, thus prompting the legend.

Serious researchers have been busy with various early Christian Gnostic texts, called “codices” that date to the second century. One fragment from a surviving codex is from the Gospel of Mary, where she tells the disciples about a vision she had of Jesus. Peter questions that Jesus would “speak privately with a woman and not openly to us?” Levi tells Peter to cool his hot temper and stop railing against Mary like an adversary—“If the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her?”

Indeed, the rock upon which the Church was built, Peter, and the men who changed the Gospels and the New Testament to suit their own purposes all rejected women. But it’s starting to be clear that Mary Magdalene was an important figure among the disciples, that she may have been a wealthy woman whose funds supported the ministry of Jesus in Galilee, and that she played a pivotal role as the first witness to the Resurrection. It also seems to be true that she went to live in France after the crucifixion and died there after many decades spent as a hermit in a cave.

 

Of course, the big question raised by Dan Brown’s bestseller The Da Vinci Code, remains unanswerable—whether or not she was the wife of Jesus and bore him a child, making her the Holy Grail, the depository of the blood of Christ. There are those who believe the Wedding at Cana was their wedding, and that Jesus supplied the wine, as was customary for the groom.

 

As time goes on, we will have more information from codices like the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Philip, and the Acts of Peter. Mary plays an important role in all three, and is often seen as the only one of the disciples to ask intelligent questions instead of being confused. It’s said over and over that Jesus loves her more than any of the others because of her spiritual understanding.

Rather than being the sinner who was redeemed by the love of Jesus, Mary comes off as one of the leaders of the early Gnostic Christians. But the Church is still reluctant to grant her too much of an uplifted status. If indeed Mary was such a potent female among the disciples, the traditional argument for an all-male priesthood gets shot down, and it becomes clearer that the role of women like Mary was eliminated as much as possible from the Bible.

One fascinating study mentions that the Hebrew word the Essenes used for their priestesses was Kedushah, which literally means feminine holiness, or holy woman. Unlike the Essenes, mainstream Judaism did not permit women to be priests. In mainstream Judaism, the term Kedushah is a slur against women who would enter the priesthood, conveying the idea that such a woman is a harlot. So the word means both a holy female devotee and harlot. We see where the confusion about Mary Magdalene could have come in.

My hope is that Mary will continue to be resurrected as a holy woman, the essence of feminine holiness, the one who never deserted Jesus as he went through his trials. And some day, perhaps, women in general will get the respect they deserve as the true holy grails of feminine wisdom and spirituality.