Yes, surprisingly, I too ended up after the Oprah interview feeling more sympathy for John Edwards than for Elizabeth. It’s one thing to be really angry with your partner and quite another to hang him in full public view. I found it pretty depressing.
I am always trying to increase awareness, so it’s important that we look at even the unpleasant truths in our lives. It’s interesting to see the amount of denial in Elizabeth Edwards regarding her husband’s affair with a woman she won’t even name. Unfortunately, she knew that John’s candidacy was doomed because the truth was bound to come out, and yet she kept standing there…as his main cheerleader. Political wives are in a difficult situation when their husbands stray, and like Hillary Clinton or Silda Spitzer, Elizabeth stood by her man. Why do they do that? Read my blog on the Huffington Post.
Let’s take the denial first. I mean, wouldn’t you want to know if your husband had fathered an illegitimate child? Pulling the shades down over your eyes and never ever saying out loud the name of the “other woman” (or not allowing Oprah to say her name) won’t help a bit. I’ll say it: Rielle Hunter–a reportedly broke single mother who is probably not the crazy stalker Elizabeth paints as the root of all evil. Read more
Hi Steph,
Thank you for taking the time to vent! Just a couple of clarifications:
1. No doubt Bill Clinton respects and admires Hillary’s many talents, but I believe he also sometimes feels quite intimidated by her (who wouldn’t?!) and that that is one factor that leads him to his countless infidelities. My guess is they stay together for a host of complex reasons that include love and public status.
2. I made no comment on the importance or lack thereof of sexual fidelity in a relationship but Elizabeth did; perhaps you’re recalling her statement.
3. People don’t cause cancer; emotions can though. As a health and wellness expert, I’ve worked with thousands of cancer patients and see many of them turn the corner and begin their recovery when they are able to face their emotions and move through them. A woman like Elizabeth who is still in denial, i.e., can’t even bring herself to name the enemy, has a way to go however. I do believe that Elizabeth might well have a significant improvement in her health if she were to look at this situation more honestly. Writing a “tell all” and dragging your errant spouse on national TV is a great payback but doesn’t address the real pain that lies underneath.
More on Hillary Clinton
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
Actually, Bob, I can imagine what it’s like to have cancer as that’s what I had! I found that when I faced the lies I was telling myself about my own life that I got better. I’d love to see Elizabeth Edwards get better too.
More on Hillary Clinton
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
All we need to do is look. Look and acknowledge what we really see, instead of what we wish we could see. If we feel unloved, if we feel hurt, if we feel sad, we need to see it and acknowledge it. If there is one lesson to be learned from seasoned liars – Rod Blagojevich, Bernie Madoff, OJ Simpson, the list goes on and on – it is that even if our lies are not on the same scale as theirs, they can surely do as much damage. To our psyches, our bodies, our souls. We can learn from liars – not to become better liars! – but to jumpstart emotional healing. My thoughts on the lies we tell ourselves can be found on my blog at the Huffington Post, Posted January 26, 2009 | 02:39 PM (EST)
There is a long list of people who lie and unfortunately it’s growing these days, whether it’s another author whose “memoir” never happened or a chat-room flame who isn’t who he claims to be. We’ve grown wearily accustomed to lies from the heads of our most established institutions-financial, political, or… Read Post
Body Language of Obama and McCain
Yesterday’s meeting of Obama and McCain revealed interesting body language. Obama had his legs widely crossed, he lounged back in his chair and angled his body toward McCain, all of which signified openness and a high level of ease. McCain, on the other hand, seemed pretty ill at ease. That’s not a criticism — any of us would feel the same. His legs were crossed very tightly (more like a woman’s), he sat up ramrod straight and his body was angled straight ahead, not at Obama. All of this simply demonstrates that we can’t hide how we really feel to others — our bodies speak louder than words.
When I learned John McCain had selected Sarah Palin to be his running mate, I thought, “Hallelujah! No matter who wins, it will be an historic first.” Then I saw and heard Sarah Palin, and thought, “No! If they win, no one wins. Women certainly do not win. In fact, we will be set back a century.” From her seduction of the camera to her inexcusable ignorance, Governor Palin’s brand of politics we can do without. Is this what we want to teach our daughters? That women don’t succeed on their merit but on their resemblance to a Barbie doll? Learn what Sarah Palin’s demeanor tells us about her anti-feminist ideals at my blog on the Huffington Post.
Posted November 12, 2008 | 07:22 AM (EST)
Sarah Palin hasn’t gone away. Oh, she may be back in Alaska, but she’s also all over the media, as in recent interviews with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News, on the Today show with Matt Lauer, and on Larry King Live. Even Oprah has invited Sarah to her show!… Read Post
Goethe wrote, “In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” We chose hope with Barack Obama’s election to the highest office in the land. After years of being stuck in a quagmire of dishonesty and negativity, it is like spring to have a positive force in the White House. A great office needs a great person, and in Obama, we fortunately have one who acts with grace, compassion, and composure. To navigate us through this difficult time, we need a figure who can garner respect throughout the world – not just in moneyed circles but in the furthest reaches of the world. For more of my thoughts on the politics of the day, visit my blog at the Huffington Post.
Posted November 6, 2008 | 02:26 PM (EST)
It’s been a long time coming, this resurrection of hope and excitement in America, and around the world. I’ve been inundated with calls and emails from all over the world celebrating the direction our country has taken. In this global age, when it is possible for a small village in… Read Post
Last night was a momentous occasion in the history of this country, and in the world. Racial barriers not only crumbled, they disintegrated. Young Afro-Americans have a new image of what they can become when they grow up. And all of us can see in the spousal body language of Barack and Michelle Obama what it means to have real love and intimacy in a marriage relationship.
Those were real heartwarming hugs and kisses, direct eye contact and ear-to-ear smiles. The joy was apparent, as clear as the fact that they were in this together. During his speech last night, Obama said, “We would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend of the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama.” Or as Whoppi Goldberg put it on this morning’s The View, there will be “a whole lot of whooping going on” in the Obama White House.
Body language tells us a lot about people. And what it tells us about our next President and his First Lady is that the White House will be a true home filled with tenderness and love, a place of safety and security for their two girls, and a place from which compassion and understanding can radiate out to the world.
At first, John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin as vice-presidential candidate made great sense: someone young to balance his age; a beautiful woman to his distinguished man; someone who could deliver a “first” in American history. But then they started spending time together and that façade quickly vanished. Was anyone fooled into thinking that these two – who could barely stand to look at each other – could come together to run the country? Especially during these times? Body language tells us much more than empty words, and they spoke volumes about these running mates. Fortunately for all of us, the American public listened. I discuss this odd couple in my blog at the Huffington Post.
Posted October 30, 2008 | 10:36 AM (EST)
The romance is obviously over. If John McCain could have gotten away with not hugging Sarah Palin on stage at the rally in Hershey, Pennsylvania, he certainly would have done so. His body language spoke loud and clear as they fake hugged: “Let’s get this over with. You’re the worst… Read Post
Where Sarah Palin goes, controversy follows. From those who claimed she would be the savior of the Republican Party to those who say Trig is not her son but her grandson, Governor Palin certainly makes great news. Love her or hate her, she’s omnipresent because of her beautiful appearance in the ugly world of politics. But beneath the “aw shucks” surface lies a classic psychopath, as defined by Lowen’s psychodynamics principles. The governor is out for one thing: power. Or perhaps two: power and herself. Read my blog post on Psychology Today to find out why Sarah Palin lacks the emotional health and balance to be a “heartbeat away from the oval office.”
Posted on September 10, 2008 – 10:51am in Psychology Today
Sarah Palin is a classic “psychopath” as defined by Lowen psychodynamics, a system that analyzes the inner forces that affect behavior. Read More
And they’re off! Campaigns are marathons. Long grueling days, followed by long, grueling nights. You see the crew of your private plane more than your family. You watch yourself on the news, listening to constant critiques and analyses. You wonder if you’ll get a break, and if you do, will it be in four years or eight? Getting a break means you’ve lost. In this world, we expect our politicians to have superhuman endurance. The human body can’t live on hotels and adrenaline forever. Our leaders need a plan in place – not just for the economy or foreign relations. A plan for dealing with the physical and mental turmoil of office and keeping their spiritual energy renewed. Why do leaders need inner peace? Check out my blog at Psychology Today to find out more.
July 14, 2008 – 2:30pm in Psychology Today
Sometimes watching the news feels like reading the old Dick and Jane books. Run, spot, run! There they are, the presumed candidates, running, running, running.
DEAR HILLARY
March 10, 2008
It’s time to take a good long look in the mirror—beyond the neatly pressed pantsuit—deep into the source of your current behavior. When you shake your finger at Obama, use sarcasm and other verbal weapons of aggression, and put out 3 a.m. ads based on fear, which Hillary is really speaking?
It’s the little girl who learned from her father that men are powerful and women are weak. And you certainly don’t want to look like a weak woman. Your dad was reputed to be not only verbally abusive, but also a “lady’s man,” much like the one you married—a man who showed his wife and family little respect. You honed the survival skills developed by many of us women: subterfuge, shrewdness, the ability to put on different facades, fake charm. Being yourself wasn’t an option.
It’s the young woman who learned that in order to succeed in law school she had to amputate all that was feminine: your compassion, your intuitive abilities, your heart. Like you, I graduated from law school in 1973, and I learned the very same lessons. It was hard dealing with the male professors (there were few female ones), who tended to ignore or put down the less than 10% of us who were women. I wasn’t going to succeed in that venue unless I became more male, more aggressive, more quick-witted than any guy in the room. Clearly, it was the same for you.
It’s the wife who learned from your marriage to Bill that women are there for his pleasure, to be humiliated and mistreated. We were all right there with you in your humiliation. By the way, Bill doesn’t seem the same these days as he did before his heart surgery; he’s tired and cranky and mean. He also seems to have some real mixed feelings about you being the top dog instead of him. He still wants to be “the man,” not the house-husband (even if the house is the white one). Yet you listen to his advice, and to the advice of others who advocate dirty politics.
As you look into that mirror, dive deep into the feminine truth you could reveal to the world, the one that showed up in your “valedictory” moment at the end of that debate with Obama. The moment when your warmth came through. What would happen if you campaigned on your real strengths—your tenacity and experience, your sharp intellect, as well as your hard-earned life knowledge as a woman and mother—instead of showing you can push that damn button like any man.
Do you really want to buy votes through fear? Do you really want to use the same tactics as Bush?
You know, it’s okay to show your feminine side—the caring and compassionate and nurturing side. We won’t think you’re weak. It’s just your male advisors who are afraid of that. You could set a whole new template for women, especially women like us—those of a “certain age.” Those of us who grew up believing they had to present to the world someone different than who they really are.
Come back from the dark side, Hillary. Drop the old baggage, stop reacting in an old habitual way to perceived threats, and stand tall in the light. You can do it.
Author Robert Graves wrote, “Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.” When we have the emotional health to trust our intuition, we can cut through a lot of the facades and nice speeches to get to the truth. Can we ever really know the truth about the people we elect to our public offices? We can glean “facts” from the media – but look closer. Look beyond the prepared words, the carefully crafted “candid” shots. What does your intuition tell you about the candidates? For my take on the events of this busy political time, check out my blog on the Huffington Post.
Posted 02.04.2008
In an election year, we are asked to sit in judgment of the candidates and then take our decision into the voting booth. How can we ever know who these people are and what they are capable of? Read Post
After 9-11, the Bush Administration flashed orange and red alert levels, reminding us in Technicolor of the danger we live with. School shootings, massacres in malls, wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, tensions with international communities. And we hear it all day, every day. There is no built-in time anymore for de-stressing. We can watch the Dow all day, and the Asian Markets all night, drowning our sorrows in starchy, sugary, fatty foods. Our physical and emotional health suffers, causing anxiety, depression, fear…But wait, don’t get more depressed! There is good news and steps you can take. Even five minutes of meditation or unwinding each day can start you on a path to increased peace of mind. Start by reading my blog at the Huffington Post.
Posted 12.11.2007
Americans feel increasingly stressed and helpless. Among the most common problem people give voice to are feelings of overwhelming anxiety and depression. Read Post
