Deborah King, Author at Deborah King

Self-Mastery: Ten Keys to Achieve Success in Every Areas of Your Life

April 12, 2022

by Deborah King Energy Medicine Featured Self Love

Today we’re going to be putting our virtual spotlight on a fascinating topic: Self-Mastery. What is it and how do we achieve it? Self-mastery is a path, an orientation you choose for yourself and your world.

First, you have to get rid of the incorrect belief that self-mastery is about controlling your basic impulses. That’s not the case: instead, it’s about getting to know those parts of you intimately, and then going beyond them. Once you do that, the natural process of inner development will take place

Carlos Castanenda’s teacher, Don Juan, said “A warrior must cultivate the feeling that he has everything needed for the amazing journey that is his life. What counts for a warrior is being alive. Life in itself is sufficient, self-explanatory and complete.”

Although you may refuse the call to adventure, developing your innate capacities is your destiny. Ignoring your destiny can bring depression and anxiety. Embracing this destiny leads to freedom and to your highest expectations.

So stop and ask yourself: What is the biggest obstacle you’ve already overcome? Was it getting into college despite the obstacles? Or was it raising a child on your own, without much help from a partner? Or how about taking care of an aging parent? Or perhaps you’ve lost a job and then gotten back on your feet? Or maybe, like me, you’ve dealt with a challenging health problem? If you think back to what you have already overcome, you know you already have what it takes to be in self-mastery!

So, let’s talk about the two drives inside of you:

First, there’s the drive toward growth – it’s easy to see it in a baby, who is focused on learning to walk and talk. Now look at the adults in your life: Some are committed to developing new skills. There are self-actualized people in virtually every field, from physics to music and the arts, from philosophy to computer science, from politics to sports. But there are also many people who are simply surviving; they are not embracing the opportunity, it seems, to work toward their highest potential. You will hear them say things like, I never have time. I’m too tired. Or, and I hear this one a lot from my students, I don’t know what I’d be good at.

So what is blocking their growth? The force opposing growth is the drive for safety. The need for safety keeps you where you are now, afraid to take chances. This safety seeking side is afraid of the new and the untried—the very things your growth side is eager for.

Abraham Maslow, a famous psychologist, said: “You must want to be t he best, the very best you are capable of becoming. If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.”

To reach a level of self-mastery that will make you a real powerhouse in your own life and in the lives of those you want to enhance, I’ll share ten keys to help you break through whatever resistance you may be experiencing.

The first key is to acknowledge the resistance you’re feeling but to do so with love and compassion. Every change brings resistance, even positive change. So, give yourself a little time to realize you’re beating yourself up because you’ve been standing in your own way for so long. Give yourself permission to move away from self-blame into the winning game. I remember doing that very thing when I was young and wanted to master energy healing; I first had to get out of my own way. To quote Napoleon Hill, “Out of resistance comes strength.”

The second key is to create a compelling vision of the life you want to lead or the next goal you want to achieve. The operative word here is compelling. It has to be a vision that is so clear and attractive to you that you can already see and feel it as though it’s already been accomplished. You practice actually feeling the way you’ll feel when it manifests in your life. It has to be powerful, like the tractor beam on Star Trek. Your intention is the tractor beam. By the way, Nasa is currently working on a Star Trek style tractor beam, a gravitational beam emitter, so let’s not retire that delicious image just yet!

The third key is to commit to long-term practice and persistence. Transforming your life and reaching cherished long-term goals requires constant practice and persistence. By dedicating yourself to forward progress, you are rewiring your brain to make the changes you need to achieve whatever it is you want. Whether you want to learn music or a language or meditation, you’ve got to practice/practice/practice! As Walt Disney famously said, “If you can dream it, you can do it!” And the biggest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low. Consider for a moment the persistence of Malala Yousafzai, the young Pakistani girl who persisted in her goal for girls’ education in Pakistan despite being shot, now that’s resolve!

The fourth key is to expect yourself to take a few steps backwards along the way. On the road to self-mastery, back-sliding is part of the journey. You won’t get everything right the first time. So, when backsliding happens, practice self-kindness, self-acceptance and self-compassion so you can kick-start your progress again. I did that with a host of things I wanted to learn, from skiing to mountain climbing to learning a foreign language. When you fall off your diet for a day or a weekend, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You’ve just backslid. Like who hasn’t! Start again. Start again and again, as many times as it takes to reattach to your compelling vision about what your life will be like when you’ve succeeded. I only quit drinking once, and I succeeded, yay for me, but I quit smoking, I’ve gotta admit, 32 times, before I got it right.

Swami Vivekananda said, “Never mind these failures, these little backslidings; hold the ideal a thousand times, and even if you fail a thousand times, do it again and again!”

The fifth key is to live by the principle of moderation. Self-mastery isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. This has always been the hardest one for me: We Type-A people can find ourselves sprinting out of the starting gate at full bore, only to exhaust ourselves and be unable to proceed. When we can see that the world we want or the goal we want is just at the end of our exertions, we want to get there as fast as possible. But self-mastery takes time, and you only have so much energy. So, give yourself permission to give 75% instead of anything more. By pushing or straining yourself, you deplete yourself and it’s hard to keep your eyes on the prize when you can hardly get out of bed in the morning. Speaking of that, let me encourage you to get way more sleep than you are probably currently getting: fatigue is a deal breaker when you’re trying to achieve self-mastery. Honestly, if you can get into the habit of little 15 or 20 minute power naps, and take them before 3pm so they don’t disturb your rest at night, it will really open your creativity, plus make your life a heck of a lot more joyful and fun!

The sixth key is lighten up! C’mon, this is a fun key. It’s far too easy to take ourselves and our desired growth too seriously. Have fun along the way. If you don’t, your mind or body will revolt. We are human beings, not human doings. Allow yourself to be in ways that make your life meaningful and fun. Stay light-hearted. Laugh at yourself. Be playful, even as you’re evolving into self-mastery. My fav example at the moment is Alex Honnold, the American rock climber who climbed El Capitan in Yosemite National Park in just under 4 hours without a rope! Talk about self-actualized! I spent an entire summer trying to climb El Cap with a rope, with no luck, so go, Alex!

The seventh key is to set mini goals. There is, unfortunately, no shortcut to self-mastery. The route includes setting mini goals, or what I like to call baby steps. Baby steps take you to the next solid place. Baby steps are the steps that lie within reach. Reaching each one helps measure your progress so you can celebrate along the way. Celebrating your advancement at each step is important. Anything you dream can be yours by simply focusing on each step along the way, not the overall journey. Another great example of youthful self-mastery would be Greta Thunberg, who, despite her autism, has managed to grab the world by storm on the subject of the climate crisis. If you know her story, she took step after step to achieve her goals, and imagine the resolve it took for a 15-year-old girl to protest so loudly outside the Swedish parliament that she got the government to change their carbon emission standards. Now, that’s self-actualization!

The eighth key is Cultivate Your Physical Energy. Whatever road to mastery you take, you will need a healthy reserve of physical energy to get from where you are to where you want to go. Without it, whenever you backslide, or feel stressed, or whenever you need to overcome resistance, you’ll be too depleted to lift yourself over the hurdle. Your willpower will only last as long as the energy you have in the tank!

You can increase your energy by eating super nutritious food, by having 4 or 5 or even 6 little meals a day to keep your blood sugar even, by getting enough sleep as I mentioned earlier, by meditating every day, and, this is maybe most important, by doing some regular fun physical activity. It doesn’t matter if you like to walk or swim or play a sport, or prefer to do yoga, or tai chi, or dance, but whatever you enjoy, set a reminder on your watch or phone, so you have time set aside for some movement to gather more energy.

The ninth key is to be really honest with yourself. Making excuses is your ego’s way of deflecting blame and shame to make you appear to others as better than you actually think you are, inside. And feeling worse about yourself (ego deflation) is also not helpful. Taken to extremes, both ego inflation and ego deflation can be a problem. To pursue self-mastery, an honest self-assessment is crucial. Honest self-assessment frees up the energy that our egos are accustomed to stealing in attempts to maintain the lies that we tell ourselves. So, start by honing in on your true feelings by keeping your thoughts somewhere private, like your phone or a locked app on your laptop, where you can honestly write out your hopes, dreams, and especially your fears. Or share these really personal thoughts with someone you trust will keep them confidential – perhaps your energy medicine practitioner. And remember what Franz Kafka said: “Don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions relentlessly.”

In a nutshell, we to be really honest with ourselves about what we want, and then take risks, instead of lying to ourselves and making excuses so we don’t have to step out of our comfort zone.

The final key, #10, is Establish Empowering Rituals. If you’re into sports, like I am, you know how the greatest athletes have rituals that put them into a state of peak performance so they can execute at their absolute best. Or, if you’re into spirituality, like I am, chances are you’ve read all the great spiritual teachers and you know what special practices they adopt to get into that same zone. I can assure you, the zone for peak physical performance is the same zone for properly practiced prayer and meditation. But more on that another day! When it comes to self-mastery, establishing rituals to perform can be just the key you need to reach the next step in your journey. Daily practice is an absolute requirement. By making it a habit, you re-wire your brain to operate at greater and greater levels of refinement. That is what rituals are for. We engage in spiritual ceremonies, like Deborah King Live on Facebook that we engage in every other Tuesday at 2 pacific, in order to create a safe place to work through our most complicated feelings, so we won’t have to carry those feelings around with us forever.

I absolutely love what Joseph Campbell had to say about all of this: “A ritual is the enactment of a myth. And, by participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth wisdom of your psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are put in accord with that wisdom, which is the wisdom that is inherent within you at your deepest level.” People have traditionally turned to activities like my Facebook Live, being in community and sharing through stories and prayer and song, to help us on our forever journey toward self mastery, to help us live in the daily paradox of trauma mixed with joy.

Finally, one more thought: discovering a great talent, capacity, or strength within yourself that demands nurturance can be exhilarating, but it can also bring feelings of danger and responsibility. It may demand that you stand alone, cultivating inner strength instead of seeking support from your environment. The path to growth and self-mastery is invariably difficult at times. It’s uncomfortable moving out of the known into the unknown. Even if the known is not ideal or even desirable, it’s at least familiar. And since we all have a need for safety, there will always be an attraction to staying within the familiar. So still honoring your need for safety, let me help you further on your journey into the great unknown. Enjoy practice for practice’s sake. Transform yourself slowly, steadily, daily, and next thing you know, you’ll be in self-mastery!

Attaining self-mastery first starts with truly understanding yourself on a deep level. What drives you? What’s holding you back? What emotional road blocks must you overcome to break through and achieve the life you are meant to live?

A good place to start is our bestselling course: Inner Secrets of You. It is designed to help you not only understand yourself, but also give you the knowledge (and power) to understand those around you on the deepest level. Click here to learn more about this course >>

Going Beyond Traditional Medicine: 5 Things Energy Medicine Can do

April 5, 2022

by Deborah King Energy Healing

Energy medicine is literally what it sounds like—energy IS the medicine. Let’s start with the basics: you have a personal energy field that surrounds and interpenetrates your body. Your field is connected to the universal field, and your chakras move energy in and out between them, nourishing your energy field and consequently your body. What happens in your personal field is mirrored in your body, so when your chakras are dysfunctional, energy doesn’t move properly and your psyche and body will manifest that crimped energy flow with depression or anxiety or even illness or injury. When an energy healer helps you make corrections to blocked chakras or other distortions in your field, it also corrects the corresponding issue in the psyche and body. By clearing, charging and balancing the field, an energy healer can treat the body and spirit. That is just one way energy healing is unique. Here are five more:

Energy medicine heals nearly anything.
In my three decades of experience as an energy healer and spiritual teacher, I have seen energy healing cure everything from completely closed chakras to depression, broken hearts to broken ankles, asthma to cancer. Yes, even the big C can be healed with energy medicine. Not only have I seen this, but I lived it. I was diagnosed with cancer in my twenties. After the initial shock, I began to research alternatives to the surgeries my doctors suggested. I got their permission first, and they gave me six months to see what else was out there. I tried everything to get rid of the cancer, and it was on the table of an energy healer that I had a spontaneous remission. I felt the disease leave my body, and she felt it too, and we were both in awe. A few tests from my doctors proved the cancer was gone. It had completely disappeared! Here is a video of me explaining this:

I was amazed, but my story is not uncommon. Energy healing can heal anything as long as it is aligned with the individual’s life plan. I have help heal tens of thousands of people of mental, emotional, and physical ailments. Energy medicine has no limits, because the universal energy field has no limits.

Energy medicine detects illness before physical symptoms develop.
Traditional western medicine is body-based, meaning it treats physical problems. If there are not (yet) physical symptoms, western medicine really can’t do much. You may have experienced this: you go to a doctor with a complaint and they can find nothing “wrong,” even though you live in your body and know that something is “off.” It’s likely that this is a case of a problem brewing in your energy field that hasn’t yet bubbled to the surface.

A skilled energy healer can sense illness or ailments in your energy field long before they manifest as physical problems. Distortions or blocks in your field will eventually crop up in the body as pain or disease, but with energy medicine, you can treat the root cause in your energy field and eliminate the condition before it ever manifests in your body. How great is it to be able to remove an illness before you even get sick?

Energy medicine heals all aspects of you: body, mind, and soul.
While western medicine is excellent at treating physical problems, it usually doesn’t address the mental, emotional, or spiritual components of an illness. All four of these aspects of your being are like interwoven threads of a tapestry—you can’t pull one thread without the others unraveling. You can’t treat one part of your being and expect the other parts to be fine.

For example, if you have high cholesterol and you’re on prescribed pills but they don’t seem to be working, it may be because of distortions in your heart chakra. An unbalanced chakra will continue to cause physical sickness, and until you heal the energy flow, you won’t be completely healed in your body either. Learning more about the chakras, perfecting your meditation, and spending time with Mother Nature can begin the process of clearing your energy field and help you heal faster.

Energy medicine is painless and has no negative side effects.
I’m not sure this one needs elaboration! Isn’t everyone looking for the “miracle cure” that is pain free and has no negative side effects? Well, energy medicine might be it! Some people feel a slight warmth surrounding the area when receiving a physical healing, and sometimes a healing can set free some long-repressed tears, but energy healing is painless. Since energy healing uses energy to heal, there are no scars or even any recovery time. You’ll want to drink lots of water after energy healing, but no hospital beds or prescription drugs are necessary.

Energy medicine works with almost every other type of healing.
I am a big proponent of the “all hands on deck” approach to illness. When you’re sick, you want all the valid and effective treatments available to work together to completely heal you, which includes western medicine. Energy medicine doesn’t replace western medicine; it works in concert with it, to heal the whole you. It works well with other healing modalities too, like acupuncture or massage. The idea is for you to heal your body and energy field completely, which may require coming at it from multiple directions or modalities. Trust your instincts and go with what works for you.

Energy medicine is an all-around great choice: solid results, boundless healing capabilities, and zero down side. Why not try it out?

If tapping into the power of energy is something that interests you, look into joining our flagship program: LifeForce Energy Healing^® I Certification Course. It is the best first step you can take to learn how to work with your own energy field, to align with the energy of the universe, and to heal your mind, body, and spirit. Click here to learn more >>

How To Be Insanely Happy (Even When Everything Sucks)

March 30, 2022

by Deborah King Energy Medicine Featured Health Self Love

When I was in my last year of law school, my lawyer father, on whom I doted, was in his 70s. Hearing on the family grapevine that I was in some kind of trouble, Dad came to the law school one day and took me out to lunch, telling me he had heard “I was unhappy.” Had I had a clue what I thought back then, which I did not, I’m sure I would have said I was insanely happy. After all, I was a size 4, what more could any 20-something want? Plus, I was at the top of my class; I thought Dad would be thrilled. Now, if truth be told, I was pushing a few things “under the carpet:” although engaged, I was having not one, but two affairs, I had serious issues with alcohol, drugs, and extreme sports, and, oh, I forgot to mention, I had just found out I had cervical cancer.

Over the fish course, Dad, out of the blue, volunteered, “the secret to life is simple, just don’t think about yourself. If you are always helping others, you’ll be happy your whole life.”

At the time, I thought, what does he know? All I wanted was to get done with lunch so I could get out of there and have a drink! At that moment, I was in complete agreement with the comedian George Burns, who said: “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… who all live far, far away!”

But you know what? It turned out, “father did know best.”

There’s an old Chinese proverb that says “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”

For centuries, the greatest thinkers have suggested the same thing: happiness is found in helping others.

So, let me ask you, how happy are you? Right this moment. Well, let’s think about it. For starters, chances are, like me, you’ve cut way back on your social life and your travels because of the pandemic. There’s a lot less getting together than before. Maybe you’re still working from home but you’ve got kids or other family members under foot. Or worse, maybe you’re alone and screaming for companionship. Or maybe your partner was laid off and you’re trying to hold it together to pay the rent and the two of you are practically at each other’s throats these days. And to top it all, maybe you’ve got some health problems that you’re worried about.

So that can mean that you are pretty focused on your personal happiness, right? Your health, your finances, your relationships. I mean, isn’t that what we’ve been taught culturally, to focus on our own happiness, right? Actually, though, focusing on ourselves doesn’t make us happy.

Now, I bet right now you want to remind me that Thomas Jefferson wrote about the “self-evident” truth of our “unalienable right” to the pursuit of happiness. Turns out, if you read about him further, that he didn’t mean you need that Tesla you’ve been dreaming about to be happy! In the 18th century, the happiness the founding fathers wanted us to pursue was public happiness. They were interested in something much bigger conceptually that personal happiness: they wanted a country that would allow all its citizens a good life.

So what are the steps to that kind of happiness?

STEP ONE is giving – just like Daddy taught me.

Scientific research absolutely shows that giving to others is the path to real, permanent, happiness. In fact, the act of giving activates the same sweet spot in your brain that food and sex do. And we all know how good those two activities feel! Altruism is hardwired into our brains and giving to others does more than make us feel good; it turns out, it’s also the secret to a meaningful life.

If you look at history, you’ll find this theory born out, time after time, culture after culture:

Let’s start by looking at my field of expertise, the Vedic texts of East India. In Vedic times, over 5,000 years ago, the Vaidas, or Vedic physicians, taught that being happy in life was the key; helping others related to doing our dharma, our life work. They believed the main way to reach a supreme state of happiness was to serve the gods, the ancestors, and all living beings.

Flash forward to about 400 years before Christ, to the Greeks; they had a similar concept of happiness. Plato wrote that happiness stemmed from fulfilling our role in society and that determined happiness more than wealth or pleasure. So again, the Greeks pushed public, not personal happiness. Aristotle, a great thinker at the time, called happiness “human flourishing.” One of the prime virtues was bigheartedness, meaning charity and generosity. Yep, giving.

The Mayan civilization, which was from about 2000 years BC until the Spanish pretty much took over around 1500 AD, believed that a thing could only be good as long “as it harmed no one.” Compare that to our current corporate greed! In the Mayan language, the word “happiness” meant “having a glad heart,” and showed their central belief that the happiness of the other was critical: they greeted each other by asking “how is your heart?” And unlike our superficial “hey,” “how are you,” they actually meant it! Or think about what Chief Maquinna of the American Indian Nootka nation said after he heard about the banking system that we white people have, he said “We Indians have no such banking; when we have plenty of blankets, we give them away to other chiefs, and by and by, they return them to us, with extras, and our hearts feel good. That’s our bank.”

Interestingly, history shows us that up until the 1700’s, happiness meant prosperity, thriving, and wellbeing of the whole society, not individual pleasure. So, when did society move from Jefferson’s “public happiness” to the contemporary concept of individual happiness? That happened in the 1800’s, when “individualism” became the new way to look at things. Turns out, though, that worrying about ourselves does not make us happy; giving to others is what creates joy.

So, how to get started?

First, think about giving your time. Sounds weird, but giving money is actually a distant second when it comes to making you happy. Let’s face it, our time is our most valuable commodity, whether it’s an hour of giving, or a day, or maybe, you will find out, as I have, that giving turns into a lifetime. Give whenever and wherever you feel inspired, as your happiness set-point totally depends on your motivation. When you feel somehow forced into giving, you will find it doesn’t do much to boost your happiness. Find the person, place, or thing you are most aligned with— relative, friend, neighbor, an organization, it’s whatever calls to you to help—and feel the warm glow. I remember being just big enough to get up into Daddy’s pickup when he would drive around the small town we lived in after work on Friday nights, giving away the bags of oranges he raised to those who looked hungry. And every time he would come home without his coat, having handed it to some poor soul who looked cold. Daddy taught generosity in action, not theory. During the day, Daddy took me down to the State Capitol, to his job as a Democratic Representative, working comfortably across the aisle to build programs of social justice for the poor and needy of our state. Back home, Daddy teamed up with a couple of other town leaders to build a private school. He hired a headmistress and told her to admit as many children whose parents could not pay tuition as those who could. When I became a young lawyer and joined Daddy in his small-town law practice, he taught me that for every couple of paying clients, I needed to take in someone who couldn’t pay, and help them as well. Daddy was all about giving in action, and he set the bar high.

Now, let’s talk about giving money, not as powerful, but another way to increase happiness. When we see people who have lost their homes in a fire or flood or hurricane, and we send money, it sure beats, as Will Rogers put it, “spending money on things you don’t want, to impress people you don’t like.” You can also give money to any cause that appeals to you, from social justice to the environment, to whatever inspires you.

Keep in mind, we do get something back when we give, and that’s OK: whether it’s social approval or a boost in self-esteem, or a new skill, or new friends. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s part of why giving makes us happier.

STEP TWO to being happy is accepting what is.

I remember waking up one morning 5 years ago in a hospital in Mammoth after I fell mountain climbing, and learning that I was going to spend a year flat on my back, with both my arms and legs immobilized. For once, unable to work much, and forced, out of the blue, to just kick back, I started listening to music part of every day. My normal type A++ personality would have never allowed that kind of seemingly purposeless activity, but thank God, over-achieving Deborah had, for the moment, been taken out of the picture. I was so happy it was hilarious!

When you look in a mirror, does what you see make you happy? How much happier would you be if you looked in the mirror and accepted that yes, you are a certain age and shape and, over time, things happen to the body. And that goes for every aspect of your life that cannot be changed. Aging is inevitable. Economic upswings and downswings occur. Loved ones come and go. Accidents happen.

When I was that unhappy young 20-something, addicted to booze and pills, I joined A.A. as the first step in my healing. What I learned there I can share right now: it’s one day at a time. I know it sounds easy but think of all the times you don’t do that, instead obsessing over what might happen tomorrow, like what if you get Covid or the forest fire gets even closer, or you never find work. You get my drift. As the Serenity Prayer of A.A. goes, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I’ve worked my way through so many rough situations, one day at a time, from illnesses, to family feuds, to lawsuits, to a whole slew of hospitalizations, wheelchairs and walkers, hey, I’ve lost count! And I’ve been happy enough the whole time, by doing it one moment at a time. Just this week, I was helping a student with stage 4 cancer, helping her find happiness in the moment, and I totally forgot all about my own aches and pains. Let me help you raise your happiness set point right now, simply by making “one day at a time” one of your favorite mantras.

Here’s a corollary to that idea, that comes from South African human rights activist Desmond Tutu, who said “the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.” If something is overwhelming, right in the moment, or even seems impossible, just use that one bite rule.

Another totally helpful trick to staying insanely happy in the moment is, believe it or not, through meditation. And I don’t mean guided meditations; they’re nice, but you need the real McCoy to get deep enough to eliminate all the stress and hassles from the day that keep you from feeling happy. These days, that means a mantra-based meditation, like the one I teach, so you get deep enough. Meditation allows your mind and emotions to quiet down and plants you squarely in the present moment. It may seem passive, but actually, meditation is an active way to clear out the imbalances of your energy system and to erase anything that may be holding you back from true happiness. It is there, sitting inside yourself, that you can come to understand your worth, your purpose, your self-respect… and allow you to feel the joy of connection to everyone and everything. It’s the real deal! I encourage you to try my meditation.

STEP THREE is to develop strong intentionality.

I teach intentionality the way other people teach reading and writing and ‘rithmetic. It’s absolutely essential to your forward progress in life. If you intend to to be happy, you will be. It’s that simple. As Abraham Lincoln put it, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” In other words, it’s your own state of mind, not what’s happening in your external world, that determines whether or not you are happy. And the best way to enter that state of mind is by staying in the present. Not reliving the past; not fearing the future. Intend to live in the moment.

The Dalai Lama tells the story of how he became the head of his country, Tibet, when he was a teenager. And how the Chinese then overran Tibet and killed millions of Tibetans, making him run for his life. So, they took away his country, his people, and the entire plan for his life. When asked if he was angry about it, he said, “Why should I also let them take away my happiness.”

Focused attention is how you create healing; that’s what I teach in my energy healing school. There, I teach you how to use your intentionality to attract the light, then run it through your own energy field and body, and then conduct and transmit that light to the person who needs it. Remember that acronym: ACT – attract, conduct, transmit. It’s all based on intentionality. I remember the first time I actually got it to work and saw a woman’s broken wrist heal before my eyes, wow, that was a super powerful moment, and taught me the incredible power of intention. We can actually can move mountains if we want to!

What is your role? How do you shift your focus from your own problems, to what is happening with others, and actively give in a way that will make you happy?

Stop for a moment and think: What are you most passionate about? What news items really catches your attention? Which threads on social media do you notice? What is calling you? What do you enjoy doing? Do you slog through your work-day and light up with pleasure when you enter the kitchen to bake that perfect loaf of bread? Maybe you could take that passion and that bread and whip up some hearty sandwiches to take to the firefighters battling a blaze near you. That’s activating your passion. Turning what you love to do into a way to help others.

And, at the end of the day, let’s all go with the advice of Charles Schulz, the father of Peanuts, who summed it up by saying: “Happiness is a warm puppy.”

3 Tips to Rev Up Your Sex Life This Spring

March 21, 2022

by Deborah King Energy Medicine Featured Relationships

“In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.”~ Alfred Tennyson

Spring is right around the corner. There’s something about the season with all that delicious creative energy bursting into blossom!

Beloved poet Tennyson was right about a young man’s fancy—and everyone else’s, too. After the icy chill of winter, who wouldn’t be overjoyed to welcome back the warmth, the light, and the reawakening of the natural world?

The association of spring with love and intimacy is pretty intuitive. With the birds and bees having their finest hour, spring is the perfect season for taking a look at what makes a happy and healthy intimate relationship.

Whether you are young or a bit older and whatever your fancy, ask yourself today if your sex life is all you wish it could be. If not, why not?

Most people confide that finding and maintaining a healthy and lasting love relationship is their most difficult task in life. This makes sense when you consider the “ingredients,” the state of well-being, that you need in order to embark on any relationship.

I believe that finding a loving partner becomes easier when you know something about energy healing. In my work as a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I’ve helped many people with the healing they needed to accomplish before the love they hoped for could enter their lives. Whenever two people interact on any level, there is an exchange of energy between them. Learning how this energy works can help you not only strengthen, but supercharge your love relationship.

Your healthy love life begins with a balanced second chakra energy center. People with integrated sacral or sexual centers enjoy touching and being touched. They are comfortable giving and receiving pleasure. They have a sense of internal balance between their masculine and feminine qualities. A healthy second chakra is a fertile place—an engine of creative possibility that allows inspiration to flow through the body. As the seat of the inner child and emotions, this center also hosts our creative and generative impulse. Using energy healing techniques can ensure your second chakra is clear and balanced and thus the energy you bring to any relationship is positive.

Since a heart-felt connection makes the best foundation for a happy sexual union, an open and balanced fourth chakra energy center is also important. The fourth chakra rules over the heart and forms the link between the physical and the nonphysical—both components of the highest and best sexual experience. A healthy heart chakra is the center of unconditional love, gratitude, and—so important for intimacy—the willingness to be open and vulnerable. When the heart center is in balance, you are content, peaceful, caring, and compassionate. Doesn’t that sound like the ideal scenario for wonderful sex?

Once your second and fourth chakras are spinning with pure and free-flowing energy, you can try these 3 tips for ramping up your sexual happiness and wellbeing:

1. Step Outside and Smell the Roses

Strengthen the feeling that you are part of the growing, regenerating, blossoming world of nature. People are natural beings, another expression of the created and creative world. Take a walk and feel the powerful connection you have to the sky, the earth, the wind, and the trees. If you can walk beside a body of water, that is especially healing and energizing. Nature awakens all your senses, and sensory awareness leads to great enjoyment of life, including great sex.

2. Move Your Body Every Day

Yes, sex is exercise, and if your body is limber and strong, wouldn’t that help you enjoy an even happier intimate experience? Your body loves to move, and the energy that flows when you get physical enhances every aspect of life. Taking care of your material body every day with good health habits, including a regular exercise routine, can’t fail to make all of your life’s activities more vibrant and energetic. You want to feel good in all you do, and exercise primes you for physical, and spiritual, joy.

3. Come From a Giving Place

In energy medicine you learn that what you put out into the world is reflected back to you. The best way to achieve greater love, including sexual love, is to be more loving. What you give is truly what you get, and if you extend yourself with an open heart and a desire to give, a magic takes place that creates intimacy on a whole new level. Consider your Source–and your partner’s. When you tap in to that creative, loving energy, just think how vast your capacity for giving and receiving can be.

With your energy positive and focused, you are ready to let your fancy run free. Open your heart to let your love shine forth this spring! To learn more about balancing, clearing and charging your chakras, the fastest way to ensure a massive shift in your energy and have lasting change affecting every aspect of your life, join me in Secrets of Chakra Wisdom. The chakras hold the key to healing past traumas, building lasting relationships, breaking through financial blockages, unleashing creativity, and achieving your goals on an abundant and energetic level.

Spring Equinox: Planting Your Soul Garden in 5 Easy Steps

March 16, 2022

by Deborah King Astrological Events Energy Healing Energy Medicine Featured Meditation

Spring is just around the corner and the flowers have gotten the word! At the vernal equinox, the equilibrium is perfect—night and day, light and dark are balanced on the brink of change. The shorter days of winter are past and the longer days of summer are approaching. Just as the natural world is poised for a season of new growth and rebirth, so is the human spirit. Spring is the perfect time for cleaning, clearing, balancing and beginning fresh. I’m sure you can feel the urge to open your heart to brighter and better times ahead. Why not plant the seeds of new spiritual growth today? Think of the beautiful blooms and life-giving plants that nature is calling forth right now. You can be blossoming, too, and nurture a garden for your soul.

What spiritual growth would you like to experience this spring? What do you need to be happier, healthier, more loving, and more giving? As a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I can suggest a dizzying array of ways for you to nurture your soul, discovering new life and vitality where you might not expect it. Just acknowledging your connection to the Divine source of all life is a great beginning. All growth, all healing, and all awareness are yours for the asking when you draw closer to the ultimate energy of creation. Let’s look at some of the seeds you can plant right now for a blossoming future.

Clear and balance your personal energy system. Since all the universe is made of energy, the best way to keep flowing and growing is to make sure your connection to the power grid is solid. Your chakras, your personal power stations, work best when swept clean of the negative energy, the debris of last season’s traumas and disappointments.

Rediscover your connection to Nature. There’s no denying your deep attachment to the natural world. You are as much a part of the green and growing flow of life as that lovely daffodil blowing in the spring breeze. Treat yourself to regular visits to a favorite natural place—a park, a grove of trees, a beach, a hillside, or even a leafy neighborhood block. Make this your place to observe closely and know well. Your place will welcome you as a regular and offer the grounding energy of Mother Earth, the blessings of fresh air, sunlight, and infinite sky overhead.

Start a course of spiritual study. Whether you read spiritual texts, study the wisdom of ancient or modern masters, or take classes and workshops, you can embark on a program of learning that feels good to you. When faced with the greatest challenge of my life, I studied energy medicine and found not only healing but my soul’s purpose and the path to profound joy.

Keep a daily journal of your observations, your feelings, and your blessings. One good thing about regular visits to your favorite spot in nature is that you will always have something to write about. You can begin with your observations of things you notice with your practiced eye: a new bird, a friendly squirrel, new plant growth, a blossoming flower, a spider web, colors, patterns of light. Then move into your feelings and thoughts each day and finally record all the things you have discovered to be grateful for. Your gratitude creates a positive and healing energy that attracts even more reasons to feel blessed and beloved by the Universe.

Learn to meditate. With the help of a trained instructor who can guide you, you can create a meditation practice that will stay with you and open amazing avenues to peace, joy, and understanding. If you always suspected there was more to you than the material world was seeing, there is! Meditation offers an opportunity to travel deep within and discover the astonishing connection you have with the Universe and all that is. If you have questions, the answers can be found and a path can be opened to the life of your dreams.

Just as a healthy garden needs a connection to the universal elements that nurture and nourish life so does a healthy soul. Take steps to provide the optimum conditions you need for your spiritual growth, blooming health and abundant happiness by starting a meditation practice with me!

Make Women’s Wellness a Habit Today & Every Day

March 8, 2022

by Deborah King Divine Feminine Featured Women

March 8, 2022 marks International Women’s Day. It is a day to celebrate women and their achievements. To celebrate womanhood. And here, we’d also like to celebrate the Divine Feminine. So, let’s discuss how one connects to this vital source of energy, and the different archetypes which embody the Divine Feminine.

Today, it is more crucial than ever to empower women to take great care of themselves. For centuries, women and their health choices have been under attack. The war on women is well underway, and your health is at risk. It is time for sensible men and women to unite to make women’s health a top priority not just during International Women’s day, but every single day!

Women’s wellness includes physical, emotional, and spiritual support. Women tend to put their own wellbeing on hold for days, weeks, months, even years, while they struggle to balance work and family needs. All too often, as a result, their health gets neglected beyond the breaking point and they break down, making themselves unavailable to everyone. This is because far too many women don’t put themselves anywhere on their list of priorities.

If you’re among them— or if you know someone who is — here are some prudent tips on ways to take better care of yourself and the other overextended women in your life (including you!):

Physical Wellness: Take Care of Your Body

Emotional Wellness: Take Care of Your Emotions

Spiritual Wellness: Take Care of Your Higher Self and Connect to Source

Reconnect with your higher self by reconnecting with Mother Nature. Walks through parks, on hiking trails, or by the ocean; all are great places to reconnect with your higher self and with Source. Experience and appreciate what nature offers to feel closer to Source. Try sleeping under the stars, a canopy of trees, or beneath billowy white (dry) clouds to get a big dose of nature whenever and wherever these options present themselves to you. (If they don’t present themselves, go out and find them. Nature beckons, and beguiles you to wanting more, whenever you give it a chance.)
Journal or record your thoughts and emotions on phone or iPad or laptop. Writing is one of the most powerful and uplifting tools there is to find your inner truth. When you can be 100% honest with yourself, you can be honest with the world and connect better to Source and others.

And if you’d like more information on awakening and activating the Divine Feminine within you, consider picking up our bestselling Awaken the Divine Feminine course by clicking here >>

The Healing Secrets of Padre Pio

March 1, 2022

by Deborah King Energy Medicine Featured Forgiveness

Predictably enough, there appears to be a common thread winding its way through a great many biographies of spirit-led individuals: they are alternately venerated and vilified.

They are also subject to illnesses, accidents, and other roadblocks (both natural and human-erected) that most of us would expect to slow them down or shut them up completely forever, but they just keep on going, and going, and going!

Italian priest Padre Pio is yet another of these amazing individuals.

He was born Francesco Forgione, on May 25, 1887, in Pietrelcina, Italy. By age five, he realized he wanted to be a saint. That’s pretty early!

Because his family was poor, young Francesco tended the family’s small flock of sheep, which caused him to miss a lot of school, so his advancement as a scholar suffered.

He was also ill frequently as a child, and throughout his life. At six, he suffered from gastroenteritis; when he was ten, he caught typhoid.

After about three years of school, Francesco told his parents he wanted to become a friar. They inquired into the option and were told he needed more education before he could join the friars, so they hired a private tutor for him. His father even sailed to America to earn the money required to pay the tutor.

At age 15, Francesco officially took the name “Padre Pio.” After joining the Friary of St. Francis, he experienced repeated bouts of serious illness as well as religious ecstasy. Neighboring friars reported that strange noises emanated from his cell at night. Padre Pio mentioned experiencing personal attacks from the devil, and said his cell was where these battles occurred.

Just two years into his stay at the Friary, Padre Pio became extremely ill. Hardly able to eat, he was sent to the mountains with an expectation that his health would improve, and that he would recover. When that didn’t happen, he was sent back to his family.

Undaunted by the setback, Pio continued to study. In 1910, Padre Pio was ordained as a priest and allowed to remain at home because of his poor health. During one prayer session, a fellow worshipper reported watching as Padre Pio levitated off the floor.

By 1919, Padre Pio was well known to many locals, who began to talk about his supernatural abilities. People who came to know him well claimed he could levitate and perform healing miracles. Some even said he could appear in two places at once, or bilocate.

Known for the power of his prayer, his connection to spirit, and the quality of his teaching, he counseled, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless.”

Padre Pio continued to battle additional illnesses for the rest of his life.

He is one of my favorite examples of someone who used confession to create personal healing. He advised everyone to make a habit of confessing once a week, like clockwork, to remove the emotional and spiritual roadblocks caused by retaining (instead of releasing) a negative view of oneself.

Gradually at first, but progressively in greater numbers, pilgrims began to flock to the village, desiring to meet Padre Pio, to receive his blessing, to hear his words of counsel and to go to confession.

He was famous for disregarding many of the Catholic Church’s rules. He would receive Confession and give Communion to Catholics and non-Catholics alike, believing (as I do) that all human beings are equally beloved and deserving of divine blessings. He was all about inclusion, not exclusion; he was way, way ahead of his time.

When Padre Pio passed away on September 23, 1968, more than 100,000 people attended his funeral.

THE GIFTS OF PADRE PIO

The most famous of Padre Pio’s gifts was the stigmata – the appearance of bodily wounds in locations that correspond to the crucifixion wounds of the Christ. The first person to ever receive the stigmata was St. Francis of Assisi. Pio had the stigmata for over 50 years; he hid the marks on his hands with gloves.

My favorite story about Padre Pio is about the time a journalist asked him if he caused the gift of his stigmata to appear through his own mental focus. He laughed and replied, “Go out to the fields. Look very closely at a bull. Concentrate on him with all your might. Do that and see if horns grow on your head!” Padre Pio is my kind of guy!

Padre Pio also was known for the gifts of healing, prophecy, performing miracles, speaking in tongues, levitation, and my personal favorite, bilocation (being seen in two places at the same time). He was legendary for bi-locating, which is one of the (obviously) more advanced spiritual gifts.

However, his biggest gift, in my opinion, and the one that is central to my teachings, was his ability to “read hearts” or see into souls. He could get right to the core of a person’s problem, below both their conscious and unconscious thoughts—at the level of their soul. He would zero right in on the one thing they were doing that was causing them harm, and he would gently tell them what it was—perhaps, for example, they had spoken coldly to another or refused to forgive yet another. Whatever it was, he always knew. He was a master at this type of healing and used it with everyone he met. He did this, in part, by holding the practice of Confession, which he advised should be done once a week, like dusting a room. He would sometimes spend 20 hours a day listening to local townspeople as well as visitors from around the world who had come to reveal their mistakes to him and obtain absolution. It was one of the most valuable services he could offer those in his spiritual care.

Journaling: Modern-Day Confession

All religious traditions know the value of admitting our wrongdoings, and they have some kind of practice for it: Christian churches all have some form of individual or group atonement. So do other religions: in Judaism, it’s Vidui; in Islam, they call it Declaration; in shamanism among Eskimo people, a public confession is carried out by the shaman on behalf of the patient he’s trying to cure; in West Africa, the Dagara tribe conducts elemental rituals, such as a water ritual to clear detrimental energies so that one may shed their issues and again be in touch with their higher purpose in life.

Today, unburdening our shame is easier than ever. One of the main practices I espouse for this purpose is journaling—writing down your thoughts and feelings as they occur so you can both know yourself and get your truth out.

It’s also important to share your wounds, sins, and secrets with someone else, as the confession of old used to help us do. Today you’d want to talk to your energy healer, shaman, or therapist (not your family member or friend, who may very well have their own agenda for you). It’s very important to be able to express where you think you went wrong, both to your journal and to someone else. Declaring to another your failings, your core wounds, is a fundamental tool for healing.

The practice of admitting our wrongs and clearing ourselves of them is a whopping 7 steps out of the 12 steps in the 12-Step Program. If we don’t do it, we end up carrying around a lot of sludge from our past that can really keep us stuck—and, in the worst-case scenario, sick.

Connecting with Others

Many of the things I’m advocating —the awareness and expression of your thoughts and feelings and regrets—are to support you in getting connected to yourself. One of the biggest faults of our modern-day culture, and a major reason so many people are forced to rely on alcohol and drugs, including prescription drugs like anti-anxiety medication, anti-depressants, sleeping pills, and the like, is that we’ve dropped many of the things that in previous times supported us. We don’t go to church anymore, so we have lost the idea of doing some sort of confession as well as the connection with others that we crave. Of course, we stopped going because church lost its power, just as most human institutions eventually do. But that didn’t change our need for it—for the method of declaring our sins, as well as the connection to spirit and the sense of community, church was once there to provide. That’s why I make it possible most Tuesdays to get together with me and my community live on Facebook and YouTube; these purposeful gatherings create the opportunity to experience the Light, unburden ourselves from guilt and self-punishment, and fulfill our need for connection to one another and to Source. You can register for show alerts here.

So, when I ask myself what causes healing, one thing that I have found for sure, though I don’t yet completely understand why, is that connection heals. Being in a group heals. I have found that healing takes place much more in a group than it does individually, which is why I always work with groups. I discovered 40 years ago that I could be much more effective with if an individual if I worked with him or her in a group. As Jesus said, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them.” It’s the light that heals and the light comes from each one of us; we share it and we amplify it for the benefit of each other.

If you are interested in learning more about energy healing, and joining a community of like-minded healers, that is exactly what we provide in our flagship LifeForce Energy Healing^® certification programs. You can start at Level I by clicking here, which grants you access to our Soul Family group, designed to provide us all the connection we need to cultivate healing.

8 Ways to Heal Your Home

February 22, 2022

by Deborah King Energy Medicine Featured Self Love

Home is where the heart is, or so the saying goes. But, what if your home makes your heart race and when you return home feels like you are standing in front of you like a bridge you’re afraid to cross…another obstacle to overcome.

It’s always surprising to me how many people don’t focus on creating a supportive space to live. Most of us don’t organize our living spaces around our well-being, like the feng shui experts of the world say; rather, we live in homes that are largely a happenstance creation that is reinforced by daily habits.

If your home doesn’t support your own healing efforts, it’s time to heal your home.

8 tips to heal your home

Clean out clutter It should come as no surprise that the concept of cleaning out one’s closet (both literally and figuratively) will have a positive impact on both your energy and the energy of your home. The philosophy of purging items that don’t “spark joy” can find origins in both ancient Feng shui practices and modern human behavioral studies.
For thousands of years, feng shui has been used to balance one’s internal energy with that of their environment. As an energy healing practice, feng shui seeks to balance the physical elements of the universe, earth, and humanity – and, yes, this includes the furniture in your living room – with invisible forces that bind everything together. When there are too many physical elements, feng shui energies are unable to move naturally and freely.

Household clutter and mess can feel incredibly overwhelming, only adding to the stress of everyday life that already leaves many people struggling. In fact, a research study at UCLA found that stress hormone levels increased significantly in female homeowners that had a high density of household objects. Basically, the more stuff they had in their homes, the more pressure and anxiety the women felt.¹

Give your home a breath of fresh air
Fresh air is invigorating and refreshing for both moving and still life. Since your home isn’t able to attend your Pranayama yoga class with you, throw open your windows and let it breathe a deep cleaning breath!For your home to reap the benefits of fresh air, be sure to open your windows every day. Yes, even if it is February and your home is in a cold climate, allowing your home to take a deep cooling breath every day will release built up anxiety and stale air, transforming the energy inside.

Don’t let opening your home’s window become mundane and routine (like making your bed or brushing your teeth); take the opportunity to practice your own breathing techniques. Pranayama is the formal practice of controlling the way you inhale and exhale, helping you to manipulate your vital energies to activate or soothe your mood.
When practiced regularly, Prana breathing builds life force energies and rejuvenate healing efforts in both you and your home. Every Prana breath taken does so much more than simply taking in air; you are taking in stimuli of all forms—from sights and sounds to smells, feelings, ideas, and knowledge. Prana breathing provides the initial burst of energy that sets things in motion, enhancing your appreciation and zest for life, opening your heart and mind to new possibilities, and reinvigorating your desire for relationships that illuminate your spirit.

Detox toxic cleaners
When it comes time to clean the physical dirt out of your house, be sure you aren’t exacerbating the problem by using toxic cleaning agents.

Many people are unaware of the dangers of using widely-available home cleaners that contain toxic chemicals. Whether the cleaner makes your eyes when you spray it or you have to open the windows to air out the room because of the strong smell, these reactions are not normal and dangerous. Your body is telling you the cleaning agent you are using is highly toxic and can harm you — listen!

Natural cleaners, like hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and vinegar, are easy to use and cheaper than most commercial chemical cleaners. And, yes, they work just as well! You can add essential oils like tea tree, lavender, eucalyptus, and lemon if you want to purify your home with a fresh scent. After all, the “scents” and “fragrances” from commercial cleaners aren’t natural; they are created from chemicals in a lab and inhaling them can be dangerous.

Bring the great outdoors inside
Whether you live in the middle of a big city or the mountains, your home will benefit from bringing some of the outdoors inside. One way to do this is by adding some green plants to your home; not only will your home will look beautiful, but it will be brighter and have better air qualify.

Plants improve air quality by adding additional oxygen to your home and absorbing harmful pollutants, some of which occur naturally just by breathing. You don’t have to have a greenhouse or degree in botany to reap the benefits of plants. Palms, ferns, ivy, chrysanthemums, and spider plants are all easy-to-care-for plants that will improve the air quality of your home.

Eternal sunshine of your mind
When you fill your home with sunlight, you can’t help but feel lighter, body, mind, and spirit. With your house is illuminated, it will begin to heal and radiate the type of energy that makes you feel good. Sun on your mind brings warmth to in your heart (and remember our saying? Home is where the heart is…).

Moreover, your new plants can’t survive without some sunshine, so draw back those curtains and let that big healing circle in the sky provide you both some natural nourishment. Like a warm cozy embrace from the sky.

Turn off the TV and play some music
If you are someone who falls asleep to the TV— or enjoys having it on as white noise in the background— try swapping it for some soothing music.

Music is made up of vibrations, which are simply different types of energies. These waves of music will reverberate throughout your home and play a role in the positive vibrations you’ll feel as a result.

Music can have a powerful and immediate impact on your energy and mood, both positive and negative. Classic orchestral music, with sweet violins singing alongside violas and cellos that join in harmony, promote positive healing vibrations. As a result, your body will relax and you’ll feel peaceful.

However, music can have the opposite effect, too.

Heavy metal and hard rock, with screaming guitars shredding chords accompanied by angsty and emotional song lyrics, have the opposite effect on energy and our bodies: you will be anxious and tense after the song ends.If you are looking for a music playlist that will help your home feel more zen (vs. Zeppelin), there are many great options on Spotify, YouTube, iTunes, Apple Music, and SoundCloud.

Scents and aromas
In addition to the sights and sounds throughout your home, your sense of scent can have a profound impact on your healing capabilities and well-being.

Different scents have the ability to instantly remind us of past experiences (both positive and negative). If you don’t have a scent that brings you comfort or peace, pick one! Just make sure that you are choosing a fragrance made of essential oils; many candles and diffusers available today are nothing more than chemicals that were created in a lab and will pollute your home’s air when burned/released.

Dedicate a sanctuary for healing
While your entire home should be a place where you feel at peace, be sure that you have a place inside that always allows you to be peaceful and serene. It can be a small nook in your bedroom, a water fountain next to your bedside, or a candle in your living room. One of the best ways to heal your home is to meditate in it.

You may want to go a step further and fill the space with meaningful pictures and items that make you happy. When you need to rest and restore yourself, this is the space you should turn to.

Start healing your home today

Many people don’t think about how they can improve the energy in their home, but having a healthy home can make a difference in your life. At its most basic, your home is a reflection of the state of your well-being, something that you can actively change if you aren’t happy with its current state. The tips listed in this article are all easy things that you can do to heal the energy in your home quickly.

And if you already find serenity and peace in your home, share some of your practices with us on our Facebook page.