2023-UniversalInsightsBlog-featured

Three Universal Life-Enhancing Insights

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love

In one form or another, I’ve been asked to share my accumulated insights time after time. Usually, I’ll be asked in a setting that focuses on a single topic or theme, but following are three pieces of wisdom I would gladly offer you, independent of topic or theme, because they are universal in nature and valuable to all. I know that you can benefit by incorporating them into your lives.

  1. My first piece of wisdom is “Love what you do.” Loving what you do gives life its greatest meaning. Although I may not feel like breaking into a song and dance routine every time I write a blog, empty my inbox, or travel to a speaking engagement, by focusing on the love that prompted those activities, they become consciously proactive expressions of my concern and compassion.

    And for more noteworthy tasks — your profession, longer-term goals, and the like — staying in touch with your “loving why” can help propel you past the problems and challenges that will inevitably arise as you pursue loftier goals.

Are you hiring?

One way to find out who to hire is to ask, “Why are you interested in this position?” and then listen for love, passion, and compassion.

Here’s an example.

One time I was invited to speak before a business networking group in the real estate field. After I was introduced and before I began speaking, I asked each of the members to identify their “whys” – why they had chosen to enter the field they were in, since they were all real estate entrepreneurs and had self-selected their professional endeavor.

One guy stood up and declared, in a monotonous tone, without a stitch of satire, “I sell real estate because I can make a ton of money.” It took concerted effort not to laugh!

Now, everyone chooses a career with an eye toward making a decent living. There’s no shame in that. But if income is someone’s sole motivating factor, something significant is missing, and the people they do business with will sense that. But from this introduction and the corroborating information which he provided later during the meeting, many of his more enlightened fellow networkers and I sensed that, should we retain him, we’d be getting myopic, self-serving “guidance” from this individual.

In sharp contrast, another real estate agent in the same group defined her “why” this ebullient way: “I just love helping people find the perfect property and shepherding them through the process of paperwork and prudent practices to be sure they end up with a definite happy ending!”

Guess which one got the most business? Most property seekers are looking for safety and transparency as much as they are for property. The one sallied forth every day to make money; the woman to spend her love, passion, and care helping her clients achieve cherished dreams.

So, loving what you do matters — especially to your bottom line!

  1. My second piece of wisdom is this: “You are not your thoughts, but what you do as a result of sifting and sorting through them will determine your trajectory and success in life.”

    A famous Henry Ford quote pretty much says it all: “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” I’m referring here to your vibrational level. Higher-vibration emotions, feelings, and self-concepts — love, joy, enthusiasm, self-esteem, and the like — cause your personal energy field to vibrate at faster and higher frequencies, which significantly boosts your ability to proactively believe in and make manifest your most cherished goals. With a high energy level, you feel ready to take on the world.

At the opposite extreme, I’m sure you’ve met people who are utterly convinced that life has dealt them a lousy hand and it’s just no use trying for anything better. These unfortunate folks are saddled with debilitating vibrational frequencies, so they don’t have the power-pack working for them that higher vibration individuals do. As a sad result, their prophecies about their future will manifest in the unfortunate ways they believe they will.

Among the best ways to boost your vibrational frequencies is to focus intentionally on what you want your future to look like, and to invest your time imagining every positivity-boosting thing about it.

To realize your most cherished future, you might use affirmations, journaling, meditation, exercises, music, or some other energy/vibration-boosting technique to enhance and uplift your spirits toward your goal.

It’s crucial to remember that you are not your thoughts. Thoughts are like clouds. They can enchant you or ruin your day. Choose wisely which ones to linger on and entertain. The best ones will take you in the direction of your goals! Let the others simply and harmlessly drift on by. (If they’re invasive, say “NO!” verbally and shake your head from left to right to evict them.)

  1. My third piece of wisdom is this: Gather around you people who are heading the same direction you are. The people you surround yourself with are crucial when it comes to “leveling up” step by step on the way to your goals.

Since you’re a member of my tribe, you’re already doing some of this virtually and occasionally in person. (Perhaps at our next gathering in Malibu!) You will know you’ve found the right sojourners when their presence supports, celebrates, and uplifts you as you engage in your pursuits.

Even if you’re an introvert who needs your space on a regular basis, you have a tribe; please do reach out and join mine! We can help make your journey so much more enjoyable, and we can offer additional insights to help you thrive.

And if you are looking for personal hand-holding in figuring out your life’s path and purpose – figuring out which path to take that will resonate with you and allow you to live up to the person you were placed on this Earth to be – consider booking a private session with one of Deborah King Center’s graduate practitioners. All are incredibly well versed and experienced in the field of LifeForce Energy Healing, and can be an incredible support for you to lean on. Learn more and choose a practitioner here >>

2023-SeepDeprivedBlog-featured

Sleep Deprivation: The Cure for This Hidden Epidemic

by Astral ProjectionFeaturedSelf Love

Feeling sleep-deprived … or chronically tired?

You aren’t the only one. It is a hidden epidemic greatly impacting countless people across society. And if you are one of the many who suffer from this issue, you should make an effort to resolve it (because it’s hugely important to your mental, physical, and spiritual health).

Here are some easy steps to diagnose the cause and deliver the cure.

Depending on your age and lifestyle, the causes of sleep disruption, insomnia, and other sleep disturbances can differ enormously.

Complicating matters, the amount of sleep you need to feel alert and refreshed changes across time because your circadian rhythm changes as you age.

Bedrooms should be strictly designated as intimacy spaces, relaxation stations, altars and meditation spaces, and sleep. Entering the room at least a half hour before bedtime allows time to wind down and relax. Engage in something soothing during these precious 30 minutes: knitting, drawing, reading. And lay off the caffeine entirely after 12p.m. (noon). It can take up to ten hours for caffeine to leave the bloodstream. If you need a quick jolt mid-afternoon, open your freezer door, and get a quick hit of cold air in your face. Seriously! It works!

If you have insomnia and none of the above (or anything I suggest at the end of this piece) helps, talk to your primary care doctor, as there may be a physical cause that can be addressed.

As an adult, you should be getting between seven and nine hours of sleep at night. How much of that seven to nine hours you’ll need is dictated by your lifestyle. A good way to determine your ideal sleep number is to wake up naturally three days in a row without setting any kind of alarm while in a completely dark room or while wearing a sleep mask. Choosing a three-day weekend to do this is ideal. Go to bed at the same time all three nights and awaken naturally every morning. Take an average of the three days to find your ideal number of sleeping hours. Then pay attention to how you feel the following week while you adhere to the total average number of sleep hours that you determined were right for you. If you’re feeling more refreshed and robust, you’ve found your magic number for the stage of life you’re in right now.

According to sleep experts, what usually keeps adults in this age range from sleeping well is that they have one sleep schedule during work days which they disregard during their days off. Doing so disrupts their internal clock.

When you’re fully rested, an alarm becomes unnecessary. You automatically wake up when you’ve had the right amount of sleep. If you find yourself waking up two hours later on your days off than you do on work days, you are chronically sleep-deprived and should make changes to rectify your sleep deficit. Do this by adjusting your bedtime so you’re going to bed and getting up at about the same time every day. On your days off, reward yourself by spending the earliest waking hours doing something you massively enjoy, whether that’s taking a walk, meeting a friend for breakfast, or something else relaxing and fun.

If you’re an adult experiencing chronic insomnia and none of the suggestions in this piece help, it’s time to let your energy medicine practitioner know, so she can help you out.

Additional detriments to getting a good night’s sleep for people this age may be alcohol, caffeine or work, a health or relationship challenge, or other stresses.

Although alcohol may help you fall asleep fast, the sleep you’ll get may well become fragmented and you will probably find yourself traipsing to the bathroom multiple times during the night, adding to your sleep deficit. And the older you get, the more pronounced are the effects of consuming alcohol. So, not a good solution (for much of anything)!

If worries are the culprit, carve out time to address your stress. Set a timer for a few minutes and write about what’s worrying you. That is usually all it takes to signal to your brain that you’re working proactively on the issue, so it won’t feel compelled to do so when you get quiet at night and want to fall asleep.

And my earlier suggestion about disengaging from all devices and manmade light sources a half hour before bed is helpful.

Another sleep disruptor is that your working life gets in the way. Some work night shifts; others have work schedules that can vary widely from week to week. And even with consistent work schedules, you can find yourself working right up until bedtime, or in the middle of the night if you go to bed early, exhausted, and then wake up refreshed at 2 a.m. and ready to roar!

Here are a few solutions to try:

For those working nights, wear sunglasses home from work to minimize the amount of bright sunshine you receive on the way home. Why? Because sunshine shuts down the release of melatonin, which you need to be able to get to sleep more easily and naturally.

If your shift changes all the time, shift your sleep time backward about three days before your new start time and then inch it forward or back by an hour or two every night. And schedule ten to thirty minutes between work and retiring for the night. Engage in a soothing activity during this time (without screens): relaxing instrumental music, light reading.

During early midlife — between the age of 35 and 40 — you will still need seven or more hours of shut-eye. And it becomes harder, at this stage of life, to bounce back from experiencing inadequate sleep, so you might find yourself becoming more irritated or apathetic after a bout of insomnia or tossing and turning. Lack of sleep will also prevent you from focusing as adeptly as you would after a well-rested night.

For early midlife adults, the causes mirror earlier (and subsequent) descriptions, and the cures are the same or very similar:

Too stressed to sleep. (Write down what’s bothering you during the day.)

Alcohol consumption. (Avoid it.)

After-NOON caffeine consumption. (If you must drink caffeine, do it before noon.)

Work-related stress. (night shifts, changing schedules, see above suggestions)

Insomnia. (May be genetic. Consult with your team of caregivers, from your primary care physician who can refer you to a psychologist or sleep specialist, to your energy medicine specialist, who can help you with buried trauma that may be making you sleepless.)

When midlife happens (ages 41 to 50) your sleep schedule can get disrupted by family obligations (half-grown and grown children, elderly parents’ needs, and more) so it’s crucial to prioritize the amount and quality of the sleep you do get in order to avoid becoming a casualty of catastrophic sleep deprivation. No one can get used to sleep deprivation. Our bodies need adequate sleep and rest to remain robust. There is no cure for lack of sleep except adequate sleep.

For many women, this is the period of time when menopause begins (and sometimes ends). Menopause can cause hot flashes that drench you in sweat several times a night, waking you up, and it can cause depression or anxiety, both drivers of sleep deprivation. Wearing cooler bedclothes (or none at all) and getting breathable bed sheets can help address the night time disturbances. Those who experience depression and anxiety can benefit from journaling, meditation, enjoyable daily exercise, and/or counseling (cognitive behavioral therapy).

And middle age is the period of life when sleep apnea develops in those who are predisposed to the condition, including those who drink alcohol, people who are obese, and folks with a family history of the condition. Sleep apnea means “sleep without breath.” If you know someone — or if you are someone — who snores, chokes, or gasps for air during the night, or someone who wakes up with headaches and feeling drained and depleted despite having clocked eight or more hours of sleep, you should find out more about sleep apnea because, unaddressed, it can be deadly. In some people, their head and neck muscles relax so much during sleep that their airways become blocked; in others, their brain doesn’t deliver the message that they need to keep breathing. Either way, it’s a dicey condition and should be investigated. There are devices to help sleep apnea patients get safe, restful sleep.

This is also the age group that begins to find itself getting up several times during most nights to use the bathroom. If you’re raising your hand now, try limiting how much water you drink an hour before you retire for the night and do a brief meditation, in bed, until you fall back asleep.

This age group experiences the same causes and cures as those mentioned previously:

Too stressed to sleep. (Write down what’s bothering you during the day.)

Alcohol consumption. (Avoid it.)

After-NOON caffeine consumption. (If you must drink caffeine, do it before noon.)

Work-related stress. (night shifts, changing schedules, see above suggestions)

Insomnia. (see above)

Next on our list are those who are from 51 to 60 years old, the period of life designated Late Midlife. These folks mirror the same conditions and challenges as Early Midlife individuals: sleep apnea, menopause, frequent bathroom visits during the night, alcohol, caffeine, work schedules, etc.

And then comes the retirement years, what many people refer to as the Golden Years, from age 61 to 75.

This intense period of adjustment can throw a massive monkey wrench into those who have always considered that what they do for a living is the main reason they’re alive and valuable to others.

Retirement takes away the structures that so many people have hung their existences on, value-wise. Many people who lose that life-long structure develop insomnia, unable to settle into a new routine that is more about being than doing. Take away their daily routines, and their nighttime routines disappear, too. They begin to flail as they struggle to develop a new way of existing in the world. It can be quite unnerving unless they have practiced it a bit beforehand.

For those who want to remain active (and I hope that’s you), part-time jobs fill the bill. For others, volunteering is an avenue that resonates.

Sleep experts recommend creating a new schedule and listing how you want to spend the day ahead, whether that’s a walk in the park or around the neighborhood first thing in the morning, followed by joining a bridge club, or golfing, playing pickleball or tennis, or whatever else will give you smiles, a sense of belonging, and a reason to want to remain physically and mentally robust. Physical activity helps you fall asleep more readily and to sleep more restfully. But do limit physical exercise (except for sex!) at least one hour before you expect to go to sleep every night.

The other sleep-stealers for this group and some of their remedies can be found in the previous age groups: alcohol, caffeine, stress, pre-sleep stimulation via mobile devices and entertainment centers, insomnia, sleep apnea, frequent bathroom visits at night.

For older adults — those 76+ — seven to eight hours of sleep per 24 hours works well. They usually will fall asleep early in the evening, sleep well, and then rise at about 4 or 5 or 6 a.m., feeling fully rested. Of course, those with the aforementioned sleeping challenges may not adhere to this pattern, but a great many do.

The older we get, the earlier we tend to wake up. But those in this age bracket with sleeping challenges should be very careful when taking drugs or supplements for sleep because a great many of them have deleterious side effects that can grievously impact, in addition to increasing the likelihood of a fall.

For most of the above life stages, what follows is my professional advice as an energy healer as it relates to tackling sleep challenges:

  • Spend some time early in the morning, outside, exposing your eyes to the dawn’s early light, so your circadian rhythm gets its marching orders for the day.
  • Limit your contact with EMFs.
  • Exercise before noon.
  • Keep fresh air in your bedroom.
  • Take magnesium at night.
  • Meditate no more than ten minutes after 6:00pm.
  • Focus on the peaceful and positive in the evening hours.

A night of good, restful sleep is essential for our wellbeing. It’s necessary to keep mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy. It also provides an incredible opportunity to gain insights and wisdom from beyond this realm.

You see, beyond getting the rest your body needs to be in balance, sleep also offers you the opportunity to tap into the power of lucid dreaming.

And it is one of the skills taught in our bestselling Astral Wisdom course.

Learn to design the life of your dreams by mastering the out-of-body experience by accessing this course here >>

astral wisdom course
Evolve during summer

3 Things to Add to Your Summertime Bucket List

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love
Evolve during summer

It’s summertime! Here are a few items that I encourage you to add to your Summertime Bucket List:

  1. Take a sabbatical from Netflix. I know just how addictive binge-watching Netflix can be. In fact, I just “rediscovered” Suits, that awesome 9-season TV series that has me hooked, so I speak from experience when I suggest we all fight off that “urge to binge” and head outdoors right now. Summer only comes once a year, so we need to jump on it! You can hang with your pets, drive through a wildlife park, visit a beach at the ocean, or a lake. Give yourself permission to just BE. You are a human BEING not a human DOING. Your body and spirit will thank you!
Evolve during summer
  1. Choose a summertime wilderness trail to explore. Put on your hiking boots, shorts, and shirt, apply sunscreen, fill your backpack with survival essentials (drinking water, matches, food bars, thermal, a small/foldable emergency blanket in case you end up having to spend the night outdoors due to a missed turn, your phone, a Swiss Army knife, insect spray, first aid essentials) and take a hike. As long as you prepare for the unexpected, a hike to an alpine lake or across some other breathtakingly beautiful nature spot will rejuvenate you like nothing else can.
  1. Visit your favorite environment and do something fun while you’re there.

    Love the water (lake, ocean, pond, river, beach)?     If so, consider building a sandcastle (if there is the right kind of sand or mud where you are), renting a kayak or canoe, going swimming, doing yoga, meditating, painting or drawing what you see (or doing your best to express in words what you see and feel when you’re in your perfect place), going whitewater rafting (or its less intense counterpart, peaceful river rafting), surfing, scuba diving or snorkeling, paddleboarding, or inner-tubing down a placid river. Go whale watching. Whatever “floats your boat!”

Love the Outdoors? Attend an outdoor concert in your region and/or play an outdoor game. Admire the wildflowers. Plant a butterfly garden. Take a road trip. Go camping. Visit a farmer’s market. Ride a roller coaster or ferris wheel. Walk or Run 5K for a good cause. Visit a zoo, wildlife park or animal sanctuary. Go birdwatching. Make a bonfire and cook s’mores, baked beans, and vegan hot dogs. Play tennis, pickleball, volleyball, badminton or any other game that offers laughter and exercise. Rent a log cabin for a weekend or mid-week or longer and meditate or do yoga outside it every morning and evening. (Be sure to step outside to greet sunrises and bid adieu to sunsets!) Visit a regional parade. Take an archery class. Catch a ride in a hot air balloon. Make a birdhouse.

Evolve during summer

Confined to a City? Create chalk art. Volunteer. Put on a puppet show for your neighborhood. Visit a museum and/or an art gallery. Get an adult coloring book. Have a picnic in the park. Record your fondest memories and adventures in a journal or scrapbook. Start a summer gratitude journal. Visit venues that feature animals (zoos, aquariums, the ocean.) Foster a pet or adopt a pet. Write a poem or a song.

There is a poem that I just love, and it’s appropriate here. It speaks volumes about mindset, perspective, and intention, three things that can make or break the human spirit:

Two men looked out through prison bars.
One man saw dirt … the other, stars.

I know you will make this summer memorable in your own inimitable way. Let me know on Facebook if there are other things on your bucket list that I missed.

Enjoy Summer 2023. It will never come again, and you’ll never be this young again, so don’t put off enjoying it in every way you can!

Evolve during summer

And if finally taking steps towards personal transformation, achieving your goals, and becoming the person you were meant to be is on your bucket list, this Summer is the perfect time to take that step. Registration is currently open for our Master-in-Training program. A year-long program that offers you transformative teachings, a close-knit support group, and an opportunity to work directly with me. It’s nothing short of life-changing.

You can learn about the changes people experience in our free Open House. You can watch the replay here >>

If you’re ready to dive in, you can register for the program here >>

Healthy Habits

Develop Habits that Help You & Ditch the Ones that Don’t

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love
Healthy Habits

It’s impossible, I think, to live for very long without developing a series of habits that appear to have worked quite well for a very long time. We’ve all developed habits for assorted reasons: to pass the time, to shift blame, or to pass muster in some way. Some have become workaholics, others shopaholics, others alcoholics, others marathon TV series-aholics, still others video game-aholics. In a crazy, mixed-up, and heavily politicized world, sometimes dropping out simply to stay sane seems the sensible thing to do.

Healthy Habits

Mea culpa

Early on, I developed self-protective habits in abundance: among them, staying out of my mother’s way (she detested me in utero) and pleasing my incestuous father (and later other powerful men, working my way up the ladder back when women attorneys were almost as rare as hens teeth), none of which was good for me. As a result of these unhealthy habits and others (including drinking like a fish and an unhealthy daily dose of Valium), I ended up with a cancer diagnosis in my 20’s. Talk about a wake-up call!

It was just so easy to develop unhelpful habits! When it worked, even temporarily, to give me some sense of control, ease, or release, I did it again. And again. And again. Until they became habits. (As it turned out, nearly fatal habits!)

I can guarantee you that no one ever expected (or intended, or desired) to become addicted to a substance, a beverage, or a way of “doing life” that ended up harming them and/or their loved ones and future. But millions of people have ended up hooked on habits that no longer serve them (and perhaps, in hindsight, never did).

With that cancer diagnosis, I went on a health kick and on a quest that extinguished the older, unhelpful habits along the way. With only so many hours in each given day, and what I considered, at the time, to be a temporary reprieve from undergoing surgery while I researched other healing modalities, a whole new world opened up to me. A world in which I was no longer a victim or a victimizer (both learned at my parents’ knees) but a victor. With each new sage, guru, shaman, and teacher I met, I developed new habits to support my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. My body literally healed itself, as all bodies are designed to do when we stop bombarding them with unhelpful habits and harmful thoughts. And as a result, I discovered my true calling (Spirit never wastes a wound): sharing ways to overcome unhelpful mindsets that deliver the exact opposite of what everyone wants to happen to them and their loved ones! Healing is an inside job and developing helpful habits is a crucial step in the process.

Healthy Habits

My Recipe for Developing Better Habits

Healthy Habits
  1. This month, replace one unhelpful habit with a helpful one.

    If you’re spending more than 30 minutes a day on social media or playing Solitaire or another relaxing-but-irrelevant video game, choose another helpful habit and divert and dedicate the excess time to developing it. Example: If you’re sedentary, devote the excess time to taking a mindful walk. Ideally, choose a nature trail, a city park, or some other place where you can see and hear birds and animals. Or, if children are a special delight, visit a playground in a city park. This new activity should have no responsibilities attached to it. Make this your time to simply walk, sit, and appreciate the value of creating a healthier, but equally enjoyable (“addictive”-worthy!) habit.
  1. Next month, replace another unhelpful habit with a more helpful one.

    If you feel you’re addicted to watching too much TV, divert and dedicate at least half of the time you spend doing that listening to a soothing music station (ideally instrumental). Doing so will give your brain a chance to recalibrate and relax. Although our brains are designed to think and to seek pleasurable activities, they don’t benefit from a too-constant drumbeat of pursuit. Too much action/adventure or adrenaline-pumping entertainment can create an imbalance. Give your brain a break!
Healthy Habits
Healthy Habits
  1. The following month, replace another unhelpful habit with a creative new hobby or undertaking.

    Learn to knit, read a book, play pickleball, speak a new language, or go swimming during the time you would otherwise spend on the unhelpful habit. Write that memoir. Send that letter. Do something you feel really great about.
  1. Repeat, as above, as many times as necessary, each time replacing an unhelpful habit with one that feeds your spirit or advances you in the direction you want to go.

    You do have the time; it’s just a matter of incorporating a more helpful pursuit, using the same hours. Simply establish focused intent and then Make It So!
Healthy Habits

When you’ve conquered your small handful of time-consuming unhelpful habits, you’ll find you’ve freed up ample time (and energy!) to seek and attain the goals that you’re more interested in achieving.

Yard by yard, life is hard.
Inch by inch, life’s a cinch.

It is sometimes the smallest of things that are the hardest to change. And we all need a helping hand sometimes. And that is exactly what our community here at the Deborah King Center provides. And at the highest echelons of our programs, the changes people make in their lives are nothing short of life-changing. Want to learn more about it? Click here to attend our free annual Open House to learn about the transformations that can be in store for you >>

Feng shui your home

How to Upgrade the Energy in Your Home

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love
Feng shui your home

“Energy efficiency” is a hot topic these days. With the Inflation Recovery Act of 2022 now in place, there are government incentive programs to help homeowners, renters, and businesses upgrade to more energy efficient abodes.

As exciting and timely as the above information is, this post isn’t about that kind of energy upgrade.

There is another energy upgrade which I consider equally — and ultimately, even more — crucial.

Feng shui your home

The kind of energy upgrade I’m referring to is the enormous, uplifting, endlessly creative, and divine universal energy that is available to each of us. Unfortunately, it all too often becomes unavailable or anemic because of stress, trauma, illness, and other hard knocks we received during our childhood and later, and even before, during earlier incarnations.

Far too many folks feel chronically overwhelmed, anxious, and fatigued. Others feel apathetic and depressed. These are all signs of blocked chakras; that is, the pinching off of one or more of the seven energy transfer stations that exist in levels between the bottom of our spine and the top of our head. Unbottling these bottlenecks takes time and intention. Meditation and mindfulness are two ways to unblock chakras.

But another proactive way to jumpstart recovery from blocked chakras is setting an intention to de-clutter your home and every other place where you spend considerable time.

Home Sweet Home

Your home is a direct extension of your energy field. Where is it pinching you? In which room(s) does your lifeforce energy feel absent or anemic? In which room(s) does it feel free to soar?

Is there discomfort-causing clutter in any of the rooms in your home? If there is, simply acknowledge what the clutter does to your mind, body and spirit every time you enter those spaces, and do whatever it takes to remedy your discomfort.

Feng shui your home

Are there closets in your home with unused clothing and/or other seldom-used items occupying most of the space?

What kind of internal energy emanates when you enter your kitchen, bathroom, living room, den, or bedroom?

How long has it been since you rearranged your existing furniture, or repainted a few of your walls, or done something else to creatively express your gratitude for the space that qualifies as your sanctuary?

What can you donate, sell, or dispose of in some other way that will open up your available space to make room for more energy and joy in your life?

By mindfully analyzing how you feel inside each room of your home and making prudent, spirit-lifting adjustments, you can access more of the universal energy that is available to improve your mental, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing.

Feng shui your home

Den/Office

About 40% of working people are working from home these days, the rest commute to offices on foot, on bike, via some transit system, or in a personal vehicle. But either way, whether you’re an employee, an entrepreneur, or an executive, you spend many (if not most) of your waking hours in a space that has the potential to numb your spirit or to nurture it. Naturally, I endorse nurturing it!

If your space is your own, consider Sthapatya Veda, that ancient system of Vedic knowledge that involves the connection between people and buildings. Similar to Feng Shui, these teachings from the Vedas hold that the design of a structure has an effect on our energy; if the design of the building is in harmony with the laws of nature, it will promote positive energy to those of us inside of it.

Also consider that minimalism and vibrant but relaxing colors will make you more peaceful. If you don’t have much say in your surroundings at work, bring to your work space a few personal items that elicit smiles and a sense of aliveness inside you.

Make Being Delightfully Present a Daily Pursuit

Our thoughts orchestrate our moods and attitudes. But our thoughts are not things; they are projections. Think of your mind as a movie screen that reveals in Technicolor the thoughts you’re having. Does your movie have a happy ending? If not, write a better storyline! You have the ability to influence the movies in your head to work for you. When you do this, universal energy gets freed up inside you to help you get where you want to go.

Always remember that you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are less real than passing clouds, but they do (absolutely!) dictate how your body will react, so they can send you to the gallows or send your spirit and intentions soaring into the stratosphere.

Feng shui your home

Additional energy restorers include exposure to sunlight (remember your sunscreen!), enjoyable movement (fun exercises, gardening, sex 🙂 , laughter (the more, the better!) , gratitude, nature walks or sitting in nature, self-care (hydration, nourishing foods, meditation, all of the above!) journaling, creativity, healthy, sane boundaries, adequate sleep, and friendly, encouraging, supportive connections.

How many can you add to your repertoire of energy boosters? Most cost nothing but intention and a time commitment.

Feng shui your home

Henry Ford was right when he said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Your thoughts dictate the energy you’ll have access to as you sail in the direction of your goals. And since you’re a member of my tribe, I have every confidence that you will choose wisely!

The best way to control your thoughts, and thus control your life, is to practice meditation. But not just any form of meditation, Vedic Meditation is the best form I’ve discovered for truly creating the life of your dreams. And if learning this form of meditation is of interest to you, you can access my bestselling course by clicking here >>

If you want to take things one step further, you can join an incredible, supportive community of like-minded healers and truth seekers for a year-long journey that will help you cleanse everything from your thoughts, to your physical space, to your emotions and energy field. The next year of our most transformative program is starting soon. And you can learn all about it in our upcoming FREE Open House by registering here >>

Your Souls Plan

Awakening Your Soul’s Plan

by Energy MedicineFeaturedMeditationSelf Love
Your Souls Plan

The Upanishads, which complete the Vedas, are among the most beautiful and influential spiritual texts in the world. The poems contained within seek to understand the meaning of life, the law of karma, and the pathway to enlightenment.

The Upanishads speak of three different types of self: the external self (Bahya-atma), the inner self (Antar-atma), and Param-atma (the highest self or Purusha). When we attain Purusha, we become one with the soul of the universe and finally transcend the cycle of reincarnation. Our ultimate purpose has been fulfilled as we finally reach the eternal bliss of Sat-cit-ānanda, unchanging truth, bliss, and consciousness.

Yet while enlightenment is our eventual destiny, the law of karma ensures that we each have a different road to travel through the cycle of samsāra. Each incarnation on this Earth gives you opportunities to cleanse your karma and learn the lessons you need to move forward on your spiritual path. Though you may not consciously remember it right now, your soul made a plan for you before you were incarnated in this lifetime. When you connect with your soul’s plan, you begin to live authentically and in harmony with your life purpose.

Your Souls Plan

Are You Fulfilled?

The idea of a soul plan might seem like a luxury in this busy and stressful world we live in. Yet I believe that it is only when you awaken your soul’s plan that you can really begin to live the full life that is your birthright as a divine being. To be in alignment with your soul’s plan is to have clarity of purpose and an inner strength that can meet challenges with confidence. Life will continue to happen to you, as it does to everyone, in all its joy and sadness, but knowing your soul’s plan keeps you moving forward on your personal journey.

Many students who come to me for energy healing do so because they feel restless, dissatisfied, or stuck. Life does not seem to have any real meaning or color. I often see clients who feel that time is “running out” and that the window for living a full life is closing rapidly. Regret and fear are two emotions that signal to me that a student or client is out of alignment with their soul’s plan. They have paid far too much attention to what society thinks they should want than to their own inner wisdom and truth.

Activating Your Soul’s Plan

If you have consistently felt bored, irritated, uninspired, or regretful for a long period of time, I encourage you to look within and see if you are in alignment with your soul’s plan. This is a time to be gentle with yourself and to stop piling on the guilt. All of us are connected to webs of people—our family, friends, and co-workers—who have strong ideas about how we should be living. It takes courage to reconsider these “rules” and take a step toward authenticity.

Your Souls Plan

I cannot promise doing so will be easy, but I can say with confidence that as you start to connect to your true self, the way forward becomes clearer. When you get out of your own way—and stop trying to force yourself into a suit that does not fit—your energy vibrations shift to a higher plane and obsessive thoughts and recriminations start to drop away. You learn to trust yourself.

Here are three steps that you can begin today to start clearing energy blockages and connect to your soul’s plan:

Your Souls Plan

  1. Cleanse Your Sixth Chakra

     The sixth chakra is also known as the third eye chakra. It is in the center of the forehead and in line with the eyebrows. Known in Sanskrit as Ajna, this chakra rules imagination, intuition, and self-realization. When you work with an energy healer to cleanse the sixth chakra, the door to your higher self opens. Imagine entering a library wherein the blueprints for your soul’s plan are waiting for you, bathed in a clear, illuminating light. This is the power of a healthy third eye chakra.

  1. Be Open

     To activate your soul’s plan, you must learn to trust yourself. Change can be risky, and you should not be pressured into doing something “different” just for the sake of it. But, usually, to live in true alignment with our soul’s plan means that we need to be open to new ideas and possibilities that may seem odd, at first, to the part of us that is used to playing by the rules. Often, you may find that even among the people who love you most, you need to give these new ideas time to percolate before you announce them to the world. There is no need to rush. You are allowed to take the time you need to build a bigger and more fulfilling life.
Your Souls Plan
Your Souls Plan

  1. Meditate

     


    As a teacher, it always amazes me how easy it is to be led off-track by the voices of others and so hard to listen to our inner wisdom. We often let the noise of opinions and belief systems and social pressure steer us away from what we know to be right. Over time, you cannot happily live someone else’s life. Meditation unlocks your soul’s plan by allowing you to tune-in to the quiet, still voice within that speaks for the real you. In the beautiful words of the teacher Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati, “Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.”

If you would like to learn more about how to release energy blockages and awaken your soul’s plan, please join me for my new online course hosted by the Shift Network, Decode Ancient Vedic Face Reading & Energetic Body Types to Heal Childhood Trauma, which begins Thursday, May 18, 2023.

Space will be limited, so you’ll want to reserve your spot as soon as you can.

You can do that by clicking here >>

Become an Energy Healer

Becoming an Energy Healer: Do You Feel the Call?

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love

The world seems to be in a state of constant crisis. Between wars, pandemics, political unrest, job insecurity, and environmental trauma, the toll on our bodies and spirits is profound.

Environmentally, culturally, and spiritually, we know that there is real pain in the world today. It is easy to give in to the forces of darkness and cynicism. There is much work that must be done to heal our planet and many people are crying out for positive and uplifting solutions to their individual and shared trauma.

Become an Energy Healer

More than ever, our world needs people who want to be of service to others. The power of energy medicine not only heals us as individuals but enables us to bring light and compassion to those in need of spiritual transformation. As energy healers, we learn to help others open the door to their higher selves.

Positive change begins with you

One of my esteemed teachers, may she rest in peace, Louise Hay, often liked to say, “The power is within you!” I passionately believe this. Every time an individual chooses kindness and love over division and hate, the world begins to heal.

Do you sense that you have intuitive gifts that could be cultivated to help others find their spiritual path? Are you drawn to the light of spiritual transformation? If so, I invite you to consider becoming an energy healer.

My own journey with energy healing has taken me to many countries and I have learned from sages and shamans around the world. In my mid-twenties, I found myself adrift as the hard-charging life as a lawyer I had been living ground to halt. I knew there had to be something more to life and within me than constant struggle and pain.

Become an Energy Healer

When I chose the path of energy healing, I connected to my authentic self and aligned with my soul’s true purpose. Could this be your destiny, as well? If you feel a yearning to awaken your inner light and nurture others, then I think you may have your answer. Your higher self is calling you to help create peace in the world.

Here are three ways you can begin to shift to a higher energy frequency and activate the gift of healing that is within you:

Become an Energy Healer
  1. See Yourself Clearly and Awaken Your Higher Self
    Over three thousand years ago, ancient Egyptians inscribed the instruction to “know thyself” above the entrance to the Temple of Luxor in Ancient Kemet. Thales of Miletus, in the sixth century BCE, believed that self-knowledge was the key to enlightenment, while the Upanishads advise Atmanam viddhi, “know thyself and be free.”

This wisdom reverberates across the millennia to us today. A true energy healer must first see himself or herself clearly. The spiritual practices of meditation, journaling, prayer, and devotion can assist you to clear away trauma and ego so that you can stand in the clear light of your divine essence and gifts.

  1. Compassion for Others Begins with Compassion for Yourself
    So many of my students first come to me convinced that they are ready to change. They are “high” on the prospect of moving forward and want to see results immediately.
Become an Energy Healer

Yet with just a bit of digging, we soon find energy blockages that are holding them back from the full life they are meant to lead. When we begin to address these lower vibrations, blockages, and trauma, emotions start to tumble out with the force of those flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.

Anger turned inward is one of the most toxic emotions that I deal with as an energy healer. When you release self-hatred, and forgive your mistakes, you open a channel to universal love and compassion. You also create a space within which your inner gifts can reveal themselves and thrive.

As Buddha tells us, “Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it.” To see yourself with compassion is to understand and to forgive; and, when you forgive, you begin to change.

Become an Energy Healer
  1. Cultivate your connection to Source Source is the primordial origin of unconditional love, compassion, and the healing light of the universe. When you cultivate your connection to Source, as you understand it, you become a vehicle for the spiritual transformation of both yourself and others. Your life’s purpose is revealed, and your divine essence is awakened.

We each have healing gifts that can be cultivated to empower ourselves and others. I would love to collaborate with you to activate your inner healer.

Please join me for a FREE event that I will be hosting in partnership with The Shift Network this Thursday, April 27, 2023 at 8:30pm EDT / 5:30pm PDT.

Space will be limited, so you’ll want to reserve your spot as soon as you can.

You can do that by clicking here >>

Vedic Face Reading
2023-SpringEquinoxBlog-featured

Finding Balance during the Equinox: Spring Cleaning the Mind

by Astrological EventsFeaturedSelf Love
Spring Equinox

Spring officially arrives today, March 20th, at 5:24 PM EDT, as we reach the Spring Equinox. In one of those rare moments of total balance in the Northern Hemisphere, during the Equinox, day and night are both 12 hours long. The sun rises exactly due east and sets exactly due west.

If only we could put our own lives in such balance!

The spring equinox usually heralds a compunction to sweep out all the dust bunnies, rearrange sock drawers, and tackle that mess in the garage. But this year, I suggest that spring cleaning can have a new meaning for those of you who truly seek an expansion of consciousness: try cleaning out your old beliefs, the ones that no longer serve you.

Spring Equinox

Whether we realize it or not, much of what we believe has its roots in our childhood, when we unconsciously absorbed the ideas and prejudices of our families, friends, teachers, and the culture we grew up in. For example, if you grew up in the south-west of the United States in the past 40 years, there’s a strong chance you assume all Mexicans are illegal and suitable for menial labor only. However, if you grew up in France during the same time period, you might assume that any Algerian you pass on the street should be engaged in manual labor.

Look carefully at the ideas you hold to be self-evident. Do you think that nobody should eat meat? That liberals (or conservatives) are responsible for all our societal woes? That cancer or other illness is somehow our own fault?

Take the time to examine your beliefs. Start with the areas of your life that are causing problems. Are you unhappy with your weight or appearance? Why? What was your family’s attitude toward body image? Did they mock fat people? Praise your sister but ignore you? Compliment those who were light-skinned? Make sure you had a nose job when you turned sixteen? Banned short skirts? Not let you out of the house unless you were wearing make-up?

Are you in financial distress? What was your family’s attitude about money? Were they content with and grateful for whatever they had? Were you desperate for extras? Was saving expected of you?

Are you an activist? Do you listen to a broad range of views before deciding where to focus your energies, or do you assume that your beliefs are the only right ones and the “other side” is completely wrong? Were political issues debated in your home, or were there simply pronouncements that determined which way you were expected to believe?

Spring Equinox

There are two main questions to ask yourself about any belief you hold: “Where did this belief come from?” and “Does it still work for me, or is it limiting me in some way?”

The most difficult belief to examine is about your basic identity. The famous Indian sage, Ramana Maharshi, started a lineage of spiritual self-inquiry with the critical question: Who am I?

Indeed, who are you if you strip away your dearly-held beliefs? Who are you beyond your occupation, your marital status, your motherhood or fatherhood, your sexual orientation, your bank account, your politics, your gender? Who are you?

Spring Equinox

One of his students asked Buddha, “Are you the messiah?”

 

“No,” answered Buddha. 

 

“Then are you a healer?”

 

“No,” Buddha replied.

 

“Then are you a teacher?” the student persisted.

 

“No, I am not a teacher.”

 

“Then what are you?” asked the student, exasperated.

 

“I am awake,” Buddha replied.

Right now is the perfect time to reset, rebalance, and re-examine everything in your life. To understand what past traumas have solidified you in your current position and what you must heal from and overcome in order to move forward. A great way to do this, is to connect with other healers and seekers of truth.

And while it may not be possible to hop on a plane and go to a retreat this very moment to jump-start this process, it is possible to relive a powerful retreat that was recently held in Malibu by the Deborah King Center. We’ve distilled the powerful teachings and experiences into 11 hours of life altering material. And you can learn more about it here >>

Spiritual awakening

A Powerful Tool for Healing and Spiritual Awakening

by Energy HealingFeaturedSelf Love
Spiritual awakening

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” –Rumi

Are you ready to step up in spirit? Whenever you’ve asked yourself the eternal question, “Why am I here?”—what answer seems to filter back again and again?  “You are here for a reason.” There is no doubt about it. You are conscious and aware in a special way that allows you to feel joy, love, awe, and delight—as well as pain and sorrow. Given these powerful qualities, you must be here on a mission!

Your presence on this page, reading these words, reveals that you know an important secret about your life. You are traveling somewhere. There’s an important kind of growth and transformation that calls to you. You are seeking the opportunity and the means to expand your consciousness, your connection to that vast force field that is the Creator of All That Is, Source, Spirit, or God.

You are part of this omnipresent unified energy field, even if you can’t always see or feel it. Everyone experiences a yearning to connect to that Source, with the ultimate goal of reaching ever-higher levels of consciousness that bring us closer and closer to manifesting that God-force within.

Spiritual awakening

In my work as a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I have the privilege of facilitating this universally longed-for expansion of consciousness. I try to do it face-to-face whenever possible—making it even more thrilling! Growing in consciousness opens the doors for each member of the human family to travel their own path to universal harmony and peace. Each advance in consciousness gives you another glimpse of the infinite, the unconditional love you long to connect with.

Whatever your particular journey has been up until now, rest assured that nothing happens in your life that isn’t part of your Divine plan. Everything will serve your highest purpose in some way. Take a moment to re-imagine your story, to see the obstacles and traumas and challenges of your life as the necessary foundation for your spiritual development.

Ask yourself what may have prepared you to develop the gift of being able first to heal yourself and then possibly others. Where do you stand right now in your spiritual growth? Are you focused, sensitive, compassionate? Do you frequently spend time in nature, meditation, or prayer? Have you begun to work through the wounds and emotional issues from your childhood? The list of possible experiences, qualities, and skills you already possess to help you is endless. Real healing power is inside you; it just needs to be awakened, nurtured, and practiced.

What have I seen students experience as they achieve another step toward their full spiritual awakening? Each step you take to advance your spirit brings you closer to the life you were meant for, the purpose you are here to accomplish. As you uncover and heal your wounds and clear your negative energy patterns, you reveal your gifts and build your power to use them. As you work to grow your consciousness, you will experience greater appreciation for life, higher self-esteem, more compassion for others, heightened awareness of your purpose, a greater curiosity for learning, a sense of elevated spirituality, even greater awareness of the world we all share and the need to heal and care for our shared planet.

Spiritual awakening

How does this spiritual advancement take place? This may sound basic, but there is nothing without love—for the self and for others. Coming together with a common purpose as we do at my live events fosters this love in amazing ways. You can make yourself ready for a spiritual step up with the practices of energy healing, including meditation, prayer, journaling, forgiveness, and being of service. Meditation and prayer put you directly in communication with Source, while journaling puts you in touch with your own emotions and, along with forgiveness, helps you keep clearing out negative energy. Spirit has a purpose for those who are dedicated to being of service to others.

I have found being present with others to be one of the most powerful tools for healing and spiritual awakening. I love offering live events where many can pursue their spiritual paths in community. Remember the Bible verse, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Mathew 18:20). Your connection to Source grows in the presence of other like-minded seekers. Helping others on their journey is one of the most powerful ways to grow in spirit.

Here are some of the advantages you’ll experience when you join a live event for spiritual study:

Spiritual awakening
  1. Support. The healing energy of many hearts focused together gives you strength and a feeling of unity of purpose. Your efforts seem less difficult when others are working beside you to resolve their challenges.
  1. Selflessness. Feeling that it isn’t all about you is profoundly healing. Others have struggled and suffered, too. You’ll build compassion and experience the joy of releasing ego-centered fears, doubts, and blocks to forgiveness and acceptance.
Spiritual awakening
Spiritual awakening
  1. Learning: You aren’t alone in the challenges and desires you face. Others have worked through problems like yours and achieved amazing results. You will see what is truly possible for you in the example of others who offer a healing role model for advancement and opportunity.
  1. You might also find some wonderful new friends as you work together to step up in spirit. Meditating and praying together satisfies the desire of every heart to connect to Oneness and magnifies the positive healing energy sent forth into the world.
Spiritual awakening

If you’d like to attend such an event, where you are surrounded and embraced by a warm healing energy, consider joining us for the next Deborah King Center retreat. It’s happening in Scottsdale, AZ on Sunday April, 30, 2023 – Wednesday May, 03, 2023, and will provide you an incredible, likely life-changing, opportunity to connect with a community of like-minded healers and seekers of truth, to gain transformational knowledge, and to create memories that will last a lifetime. Click here to learn more >>

event Deborah Arizona
self care self love loving yourself

Self-Love Affirmations: My Five Best Lessons

by FeaturedSelf Love
self care self love loving yourself

How often have you been given a compliment by someone, only to shrug it off in your mind? Perhaps it is a close friend praising your exceptional cooking skills after you have prepared an elaborate meal, or, maybe it is a complete stranger that oversees you drawing in your sketchbook at a coffee shop one Saturday afternoon and is in awe of your natural talent.

You have no reason to doubt the sincerity of the admirer, so why do you not take the compliment to heart?

Imagine how it would feel to believe others when they praise you.

Now, go one step further and think about how — if you fully accepted these positive and empowering messages about yourself — you would interact with the world. The sky would be the limit on what you could accomplish!

Positive affirmations for self-acceptance

One of the most important challenges in life is being able to say, “I love myself” — and believe it.

I know that in my own life, learning the lesson of self-love was the key to actualizing my life purpose.

Years ago, my husband, Eric, and I were in a mountain climbing accident; he almost died from his head injury and couldn’t work for many years. I blamed myself for the accident and, already a poster child for addiction and other self-destructive behavior, my own health started to deteriorate. It wasn’t until I hit a wall that I  made an important realization: not only did I have to forgive myself, but I also needed to start liking myself.

I started the practice of saying positive self-love affirmations, which helped me more fully love, accept, and forgive myself.

self care self love loving yourself

Positive affirmations are a powerful form of prayer and they work because it is your beliefs and ideas about who you are that manifest into your real life. Carrying around guilt and shame is exhausting and self-destructive: negative beliefs are dense energy that drag you down and are likely the culprit at the root of your physical and emotional problems. When you stop thinking about yourself negatively, you release all that heavy energy and are able to transform your life into one of happiness. And being happy and healthy is your birthright.

As I learned to love and forgive myself, an entirely new world of healing bloomed before me. Not only did I learn to heal myself, but I also discovered how to help others through energy medicine. Suddenly, the message of self-love became a beacon on my road to fulfillment, joy, and service to the world.

Here are the five best lessons I learned about self-love affirmations and learning to love me for me — and how I use those lessons in my energy medicine practice:

  1. Forgiveness comes first To put it bluntly, my childhood was difficult: my father sexually abused me and my mother was completely devoid of the ability, at that time, to make me feel loved.The grief of my difficult childhood resulted in self-destructive patterns as a young adult, and it was only when I began to forgive myself — and later, others — that I began to heal.Forgiveness is the cornerstone of any effort to rebuild, recover, and renew your journey to the light. When I work with students today, the first thing we address is dispelling any buried feelings of guilt, grief, self-blame, or self-doubt that is preventing positive healing energy from entering their lives.It’s important to note that repressed memories are very common among trauma victims and remembering the exact details of what caused the shame isn’t necessary for healing. Rather, it’s only necessary to want to be cleared of the shame and to move onto the next phase of the journey. Start with the self-love affirmation, “I have been forgiven.”
self care self love loving yourself
self care self love loving yourself
  1. Retrain your brain You may not realize it, but if you constantly have negative thoughts about yourself it’s because you trained your brain to think this way. Now, that being said, you probably didn’t purposely train your brain to think negatively — most people struggling with self-love are in their current predicament because of a specific situation.In order to go from negative to positive, you need to become more aware of your thoughts. Spend a few minutes each day observing and identifying patterns in your thoughts. When you begin to understand where your negative thoughts originate (or how thoughts decay from neutral to negative), you can now interrupt your thought process and interject a positive self-love affirmation. Repeating this process over time will rewire your brain and you’ll start to have more confidence in yourself.  self-love affirmations will start to materialize.Start daily self-love affirmation practice where you tell yourself that you have the “right stuff;”  be specific about what that stuff is and it will start to materialize.
  1. Being grateful –> more blessings Having an attitude of gratitude in every area of life brings more to be grateful for. All the positive thoughts and emotions that enable you to serve others with love stem from a sense of reverence and thankfulness.Seeing each day as filled with opportunity and promise helps you grow closer to the open-hearted, open-minded, and loving spirit you were born to be.Feeling gratitude even for those experiences that are difficult and painful is an act of faith. I came to realize that my early life challenges prepared me for the depth of understanding and connection that guides my healing work today.
self care self love loving yourself
self care self love loving yourself
  1. Love connects us all The energy that holds the universe together is unconditional love.Extend that love to yourself, with affirmations like, “I really like myself just the way I am!“And pretty soon, you’ll be able to extend that love to others as well.
  1. Let your laughter ring I love to laugh and am always looking for opportunities to do so. Laughter is healing and reflects a confident belief that all is well. As a beloved child of the Divine, you are here to be a joyful explorer of life. When you laugh, you are reducing pain and stress, building immunity, and lighting up the world for yourself and others. Being a role model for joy is a powerful teaching tool. Your faith in the power of healing love shines forth when you send a ripple of joy out into the world.
self care self love loving yourself

Turn the light of love toward the precious life that is in your keeping. Begin or revitalize your own affirmation practice of loving and forgiving yourself. Do the healing inner work that will set you free to love and serve others. You are wonderful and you are worthy—and the world is waiting for your healing joy to come forth!

Loving Yourself: The First Step to Healing

What is self-love? What is it not?

In this audio seminar, New York Times bestseller and spiritual teacher, Deborah King, will guide you through this important first step of your healing journey. The type of self-love that lights up your soul and illuminates your life isn’t found in a poem, a relationship, or silly a Hallmark holiday — it’s found in care and compassion and will make you stronger and healthier, so your life shines fire bright.

Learn more
2023-5ElementsYourBestseller-featured

The Five Elements of Writing Your Bestseller

by BooksFeaturedSelf Love
Write your bestseller book

Writing is a calling.  We may write because we have an important story to tell and cannot rest until it is out in the world. Or we may write because we want to help others who are struggling with similar challenges or traumas in their lives. Writing is connection; it is a way of saying, “I am here and my story matters.” Bringing your unique book into the world can be like launching your child into adulthood. You must finally let go but you also watch carefully and pray that others are kind.

From a more pragmatic point of view, A. A. Milne also noted that  “Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.” Writing is one of those human endeavors, like music, dancing, or painting, in which the sublime and the practical often collide.

Write your bestseller book

To be a writer is to be an artist. To be a successful writer is also sometimes to be a businessperson, entrepreneur, marketer, public speaker, and all-around jack of all trades.

Few of us can do all these things well or consistently, without burning out, which is why I love to streamline and share what I have learned through trial and error with other writers. Here are five elements to writing a bestseller that I believe every writer needs to consider.

These five elements do not have to be done in the order I discuss them here. In fact, you will often find yourself jumping back and forth between them during the writing process. However, each element is crucial to the success of your book.

  1. Preparation
    The preparation stage requires a quiet, relaxed environment. I encourage the authors I work with to meditate briefly before this stage. You want to center yourself, relax your breathing, and invite your Muse to come closer and abide with you.

    During preparation, you probably already have an idea or a message that you are passionate about exploring and sharing. You have a burning desire to get the word out about an experience or trial or tribulation that has happened to you. If you choose to write fiction, you want to build a world that no one has even seen before and make that world real to your readers.

Write your bestseller book

If you are a niche writer who wants to write about healing or coaching or music or space or nature, or anything else that inspires you, you must marinate in the subject for a long time before you start putting words on paper. Doing the work to become versed in your subject can be challenging but rewarding.

If you write fiction, you should prepare by reading other writers in the area you want to be in, to see how published writers create books that speak clearly and powerfully to the reader. If you’re an entrepreneur, the preparation stage includes reading market research to understand how your book idea compares to other leaders in your field.

At the preparation stage, you become an apprentice of sorts. Like an eager student, you want to absorb every bit of information you can find about your niche and the topic that calls to you to write.

Write your bestseller book
  1. Incubation
    In this stage, as the book continues to marinate, you may start to dream about the topic or receive flashbacks or intuitive hits about the topic even when your mind is elsewhere. Your subconscious will be actively turning over ideas, often without your knowledge, generating insights, questions, and decisions. Incubation is a crucial stage because it can take a significant amount of time and can’t be rushed. You need to trust your incubation process and give it time to flourish.
  1. Insight
    Once your Muse or Higher Self has decided it is time to move forward, the first classic sign of creativity tends to appear. In the Insight stage, don’t be surprised if you have frequent “A-ha” and “eureka” moments where everything starts to fall into place.  Your Muse might also kick you in the side and urge you to “Get on with it!”

    The creativity element happens most frequently when you are doing something rote or mindless, such as taking a shower, walking the dog, or sitting in traffic. The previous two elements – preparation and incubation — have been busy moving you along the path to this moment of utter joy and clarity. You feel intensely motivated.

Write your bestseller book
Write your bestseller book
  1. Evaluation
    The evaluation process is not always easy for creative people. Writers can be an odd combination of fragility and ego. We may have a hundred different things we want to say but we know we don’t have time to elaborate on all of them, so we pare down our story to a manageable single topic or storyline.

    Yet doing so can be hard. Writers from William Faulkner to Steven King have described the evaluation stage as “killing our darlings,” since pruning ideas, paragraphs, and even whole chapters feels awful. Bear in mind, though, that you aren’t really killing them. If you find yourself paring your book frequently, it likely means that you have another book in you. You can save some of your words for later.

In this stage, we also need to evaluate our idea from our Ideal Reader’s perspective, not our own and find those parts of the story that can be deleted without losing the golden thread that ties the book together.  Ask yourself, “Is this idea or topic or story an outside-the-box novel idea, or am I beating a dead horse, saying things that have already been said before a thousand times?” Eventually, you will reach the point where you can confidently say, “these are the ideas and stories and quotes that have the most merit so I’m going to use them.”

  1. Elaboration This stage is where the writing begins. You may find yourself returning to previous stages as your book evolves, but if you have done a thorough job of preparing, incubating, contemplating, and evaluating, you are now ready to write. So, take up your pen (or laptop) and begin.
Write your bestseller book

These five elements are essential to the process, but there is so much more that goes into achieving bestseller status. Truth be told, it can become a bit overwhelming unless you have an experienced helping hand to guide you along the way. That is exactly what we offer with the Deborah King Publishing Services. We help you go through our proven, step-by-step process to go from zero to book launch. And you can learn all about it by clicking here >>

2023 Happy New Year

New Year, New Light: Five Ways to Make This Your Best Year Yet

by Energy MedicineFeaturedMeditationSelf Love
2023 Happy New Year

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. —Helen Keller

What makes it feel so good to turn the page on a new calendar year? The open days ahead are waiting to be filled with exciting new adventures, voyages of learning and discovery, meaningful new connections with fellow human beings, the joy of serving those in need. It’s the hopeful promise of new beginnings. The calendar waits for you to chart a course and the possibilities are endless and exhilarating!

There is just one vital ingredient necessary for creating a joyful new chapter in the book of your life. It’s both an awesome responsibility and a glorious opportunity. You have the power to make what you will of your new year. Will it be bright with love, laughter, hope, happiness, faith, and dreams? Only you can decide.

You know it’s true that your mind and thoughts have a say in the future. You are a creator of this world. You came here to contribute to the betterment of all. There are a vast number of ways that you can serve to lift humanity out of the lower energy frequencies that feed fear, greed, and violence. It is in your hands to generate a better world through the power of your heart in alignment with a focused mind. When you align with the love in your heart, you immediately begin to see life with new eyes.

How can you make yourself ready to turn a new page and create new beginnings? Meditation and prayer put you in direct communication with Source. Journaling will put you in touch with your own emotions, and along with forgiveness, will help you keep negative energy from blocking your way. Strengthening your connection with Source is the first step to creating the purposeful and meaningful life of your dreams.

As a light-filled spark of the Divine, your soul longs to experience good and to help others do the same. By focusing on the positive and the good, you’ll be able to bring more of it into your life.

Here are five ways you can shine new light on your life and make this your best year yet:

2023 Happy New Year

1. Focus on positive thoughts – Use your powerful creative mind to imagine all the good things that could happen, rather than fearing what could go wrong at every turn. Look at yourself and your endeavors with the eyes of a kindly parent who hopes every good thing will come to their beloved child. Create a dream of your happiest, most purposeful life and nurture it. Use affirmations to reinforce your goal of always thinking positive. “Wonderful new doors are opening for me all the time.”

2. Seek out positive people – Build a circle of like-minded friends. Look for people whose spirit lifts you up and inspires you. Have a beautiful dream and gather together with those whose dreams match yours and who offer support and encouragement. Who is living a life you admire? Who is doing work you love? Who is teaching what you long to learn and how can you become a student in that field? Open new vistas by attending courses and workshops that will expand your life’s possibilities.

2023 Happy New Year
2023 Happy New Year

3. Speak positive words –Words have power so use them to your advantage. Use your words as affirmations to create self-respect, confidence, and good will. Speak kind words. Practice kindness in order to feel good and be a comfort to yourself and others. Be a role model for loving, respectful behavior. Be “for” something rather than “against.” Mother Teresa declined to join a march “against” war but said she would be happy to support a march “for” peace. Read the work of a spiritual teacher you admire to help build your vocabulary of positive words and ideas.

4. Take positive action—Find ways to serve others while pursuing your dreams. Whatever you love to do, make, build, or create contains an aspect of service and empowerment for others as well. Focus on making a contribution by doing something you love. What would you love to see and do? Expand your vision and understanding with a visit to a new neighborhood, a new city, or a new country. Experience a culture or cuisine that is new to you. Make a new connection with the world in a positive way. Counter negative, destructive forces in the world with a focus on those who are working to make it better. How can you help them?

2023 Happy New Year
2023 Happy New Year

5. Channel positive energy – Be a role model for well-being in the world. Spread joy and compassion. Take good care of yourself. Notice what makes you feel good. Create a happy mood when you need it—smile often, laugh, dance, sing, hike, swim, head for the playground and swing! Release negative emotions. Make unconditional love your set point emotion.

In your bright new year, you have the power to create the life you want and to help heal the world, as Gandhi said, by being the change you want to see.  If you would like to learn more about the field of energy healing and its role in building the life of your dreams, check out my LifeForce Energy Healing I Certification Course here.

And I will be so honored to be with you at the beginning of a bright new year. Join me for my weekly Facebook Live show starting January 24, 2023.

DKL live show
Let go

3 Tips to Renew, Recharge and Clear Blockages to Your Energetic, Emotional, and Physical Systems

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love
Let go

While much of the regret we harbor inside comes from our own actions (infidelities we’ve had, accidents we’ve caused, debt we’ve gotten ourselves into) as well as from those important things in life we failed to do (opportunities unexplored, love not shared, forgiveness unspoken, once-in-a-lifetime events not attended), sometimes regret stems from something that has nothing to do with us. Something we have absolutely no control over or say in. Sometimes regret—those feelings of grief, sorrow, and remorse—come from our exposure to the world’s innumerable tragedies and devastations.

Let go

We all feel how small the world has become through the advances in technology. With a mere click of the mouse or remote control, the whole world comes into our lives and living rooms. On a daily basis, many of us witness unimaginable violence and suffering. Kidnappings, murders, suicides. Genocide, terrorism. Natural disasters that leave millions in their wake. Public figures coming to tragic ends as they lose battles with drug addiction or disease. And, of course, a national and global economy on the brink of depression. The daily news provides no shortage of things to feel empathy for, and for those who continually tune in with an open heart, this constant negative input eventually takes its toll on their psyche and physical health.

The mind-body connection dictates that what enters our consciousness also enters the rest of our being. When we take in the energy from the outside world, and attach to it emotions such as sorrow and remorse, that energy has to go somewhere. Unless we release it—which few know how to do—it goes into our body, where it blocks our energy field, causing stagnation and, ultimately, a physical or mental disease condition. I hear this complaint all the time at my energy healing workshops. I see the havoc too much empathy is having on people’s lives.

At one seminar, for example, 20-year-old Jen joined me on the stage, complaining of recurring bladder infections. Talking with her, I learned that she was a passionate, empathetic young woman who worked for an animal rescue while attending school part-time. Her frequent health problems kept her from work at times, and she regretted that she was not able to devote more of herself to saving the plethora of homeless animals.

Jen is clearly a person who feels deeply. Not only does she advocate for the animals at the shelter, but she also regularly goes to disaster zones to help animals there. As we talked about her terrible regret over the current devastation and displacement happening to people and animals in a current warzone, the picture of her health became clear.

In Jen’s energy field I picked up a great deal of bitterness, the result of frustration about all the animals she felt powerless to help. This unprocessed bitterness was the cause of her bladder problems. While her heart was in the right place—she wanted to do her part to alleviate the suffering in the world—she wasn’t aware that she was allowing her need to help overpower her ability to help, leaving her feeling frustrated and bitter.

Let go

Many people, like Jen, feel that selflessness is the only way to be a “good” person, that anything less is narcissistic or self-centered. I adamantly disagree. I see all the time the kind of toll this takes in people who come to me for help; it’s in their energy fields and in the various dysfunctions of their life, including emotional pain and, for some, like Jen, illness of the body.

Please don’t get me wrong, empathy and compassion are high virtues. They stir us to alleviate suffering and to uplift others where we can. But we all have to know the point at which it becomes too much to handle. As we’ve seen, getting bogged down in the tragedies of others, distorts our energy centers, or chakras, blocks our healthy energy flow, and lowers our own vibration to the point of disempowering us and making us susceptible to dysfunction and disease.

So, what can you do if you’ve already depleted yourself to the point of anger and resentment, disempowerment, and/or illness? The following 3 simple steps can help pull you out of a regretful state and reverse any blockage accumulating in your energetic, emotional, and physical systems.

3 Ways to Renew Your Energy

Take time for yourself. We all need time for ourselves, time to just be—to relax, unwind, socialize, play. We need time to enjoy being alive without an agenda of getting something done. Otherwise, life tramples our boundaries and some of our essential needs go unmet. Talk about the perfect recipe for anger and resentment! Bottom line: Before we can give to others, we need to first fill our own wells.

Let go
Let go

Tune out some of the negative and tune in more to joy. Go on a “news diet,” cutting down on the amount of death and destruction you take in and adding in its place something lighter, like play. While it’s important to know what’s going on in the world (which you can do, by the way, by skimming Internet news sites for about two minutes), you don’t have to witness the replay of every mass shooting or every moment of COVID news. Instead, add to your day some laughter and joy. I watch one rerun of Seinfeld every night an hour before going to sleep to get my laughter quota and to take a few minutes to relax my mind. You’d be amazed at what a powerfully renewing “therapy” this is.

Uplift the planet by raising your own consciousness. Instead of trying to rescue the world in person, which will eventually deplete you, try uplifting the world by raising your consciousness. The easiest ways to do this are through journaling, meditation, and prayer. Writing in a journal helps you clear out your emotions on a daily basis. It’s great emotional hygiene!

Let go
Fifth Chakra

The Key to Get What You Want in Life: 5 Ways to Strengthen Your Voice

by ChakrasEnergy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love
Fifth Chakra

There is a very specific element of your personality that is vital to getting what you want in life. Not developing it, or even suppressing it, actually holds you back from becoming the person you were put on this Earth to be (and makes you vulnerable to the whims of others!). This element is: your voice!

Finding and using your voice is an essential part of living the life you came here to live. Your true voice is guided by your higher self, who knows your life plan and can whisper advice that will lead you down the path you were meant to take. Your voice is also one of the main ways you express yourself to the world, so what you say is really important. It should come from an authentic place within you.

Fifth Chakra

If you have trouble speaking up for yourself, or find your voice is too small to be heard, you may have distortions in your fifth chakra. As a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I can’t tell you how many people come to me with issues that stem from dysfunction in their throat chakra and corresponding problems with its ruling principle of communication.

Many students in my energy healing courses, especially women, worry that speaking up for themselves is the same as being aggressive or confrontational, but it’s not! We all know those types of people who make a fuss about everything, constantly complain, and are always getting riled up and in other people’s faces for even the smallest things. No one wants to be that guy or gal. But there is a big difference between picking fights and refusing to let yourself be railroaded. You deserve to be heard, and energy healing can help you not only find your voice, but train it to be strong.

Here are 5 ways to strengthen your voice:

  1. Practice.

    One of the best ways to make your voice heard when it counts is to practice speaking up when the stakes aren’t as high. For example, if you want to ask your boss for the raise or promotion you deserve, practice saying a few versions of your main points. This can be to the mirror, or to yourself in the shower or your car. You can even practice with a friend or partner who feels safe to you. The point is to get used to the act of asking and speaking up for yourself in a comfortable environment first, so you are better prepared for the real thing.
Fifth Chakra
Fifth Chakra
  1. Listen.

    This may seem counterintuitive—to strengthen your voice by not speaking—but your throat chakra is the seat of your inner guidance, the wise voice inside you that always gives advice tailored to you and in your best interests. Your job is to listen to this voice so that you may act in alignment with your soul’s purpose. How can you express your true self if you’re unsure who that self is? Listening to your inner voice can help you find the real you so you can speak as the real you. In fact, routinely ignoring your inner guidance can cause it to eventually stop guiding and create problems in your throat chakra.
  1. Tell the truth.  Lying is the greatest obstacle to a heathy, vibrant fifth chakra. Even little white lies can be detrimental, especially if they begin to pile up, which is what tends to happen to lies. Telling your truth is the most important—from coming out to your family to admitting to your partner that you have feelings for someone else—because each lie that comes out of your mouth allows a little bit of darkness to enter your energy field. Lies can only take you farther from the light, but the truth will set you free.
Fifth Chakra
Fifth Chakra
  1. Journal.It’s not always possible to tell the truth directly to someone else. Sometimes the potential fall-out is not worth it, or sometimes you’re just not ready, and that’s okay. But in those cases, it’s essential that you write your true feelings in your journal. You need to have a place for those emotions and thoughts to go in order to release them before they get stuck in your chakras. Your journal is the place for one hundred percent honesty. As you become more and more comfortable expressing yourself in your journal, it will become easier to express yourself out in the world.
  1. Believe in yourself.

    If your voice is timid out of fear, remind yourself that your ideas are valid. Your thoughts have value, your suggestions are worth mentioning, and your truths are yours to express as you see fit. People will believe in you when you believe in yourself, and your confidence will command their attention. Remember that your voice is an extension of you, so if you’re strong, your voice will be, too.
Fifth Chakra

The benefits of strengthening your voice go beyond the ability to ask your boss for a raise or speak your mind to your overbearing sister—though, those are great, too. These tips will help to strengthen your fifth chakra, which helps to heal and charge your energy field and your whole being. That’s the wonderful thing about energy medicine and your chakras: they hold the key to healing your mind, body, and soul, while making practical improvements in all areas of your life.

If you’re interested in learning more about your energy field and your chakras, check out my free Chakra Wisdom video training series.

Self mastery

Self-Mastery: Ten Keys to Achieve Success in Every Areas of Your Life

by Energy MedicineFeaturedSelf Love
Self mastery

Today we’re going to be putting our virtual spotlight on a fascinating topic: Self-Mastery. What is it and how do we achieve it? Self-mastery is a path, an orientation you choose for yourself and your world.

First, you have to get rid of the incorrect belief that self-mastery is about controlling your basic impulses. That’s not the case: instead, it’s about getting to know those parts of you intimately, and then going beyond them. Once you do that, the natural process of inner development will take place

Self mastery

Carlos Castanenda’s teacher, Don Juan, said “A warrior must cultivate the feeling that he has everything needed for the amazing journey that is his life. What counts for a warrior is being alive. Life in itself is sufficient, self-explanatory and complete.” 

Although you may refuse the call to adventure, developing your innate capacities is your destiny. Ignoring your destiny can bring depression and anxiety. Embracing this destiny leads to freedom and to your highest expectations.

So stop and ask yourself: What is the biggest obstacle you’ve already overcome? Was it getting into college despite the obstacles? Or was it raising a child on your own, without much help from a partner? Or how about taking care of an aging parent? Or perhaps you’ve lost a job and then gotten back on your feet? Or maybe, like me, you’ve dealt with a challenging health problem? If you think back to what you have already overcome, you know you already have what it takes to be in self-mastery!

So, let’s talk about the two drives inside of you:

First, there’s the drive toward growth – it’s easy to see it in a baby, who is focused on learning to walk and talk. Now look at the adults in your life: Some are committed to developing new skills. There are self-actualized people in virtually every field, from physics to music and the arts, from philosophy to computer science, from politics to sports. But there are also many people who are simply surviving; they are not embracing the opportunity, it seems, to work toward their highest potential. You will hear them say things like, I never have time. I’m too tired. Or, and I hear this one a lot from my students, I don’t know what I’d be good at.

Self mastery

So what is blocking their growth? The force opposing growth is the drive for safety. The need for safety keeps you where you are now, afraid to take chances. This safety seeking side is afraid of the new and the untried—the very things your growth side is eager for.

Self mastery

Abraham Maslow, a famous psychologist, said: “You must want to be t he best, the very best you are capable of becoming. If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.”

To reach a level of self-mastery that will make you a real powerhouse in your own life and in the lives of those you want to enhance, I’ll share ten keys to help you break through whatever resistance you may be experiencing.

Self masteryThe first key is to acknowledge the resistance you’re feeling but to do so with love and compassion. Every change brings resistance, even positive change. So, give yourself a little time to realize you’re beating yourself up because you’ve been standing in your own way for so long. Give yourself permission to move away from self-blame into the winning game. I remember doing that very thing when I was young and wanted to master energy healing; I first had to get out of my own way. To quote Napoleon Hill, “Out of resistance comes strength.”

Self masteryThe second key is to create a compelling vision of the life you want to lead or the next goal you want to achieve. The operative word here is compelling. It has to be a vision that is so clear and attractive to you that you can already see and feel it as though it’s already been accomplished. You practice actually feeling the way you’ll feel when it manifests in your life. It has to be powerful, like the tractor beam on Star Trek. Your intention is the tractor beam. By the way, Nasa is currently working on a Star Trek style tractor beam, a gravitational beam emitter, so let’s not retire that delicious image just yet!

Self masteryThe third key is to commit to long-term practice and persistence. Transforming your life and reaching cherished long-term goals requires constant practice and persistence. By dedicating yourself to forward progress, you are rewiring your brain to make the changes you need to achieve whatever it is you want. Whether you want to learn music or a language or meditation, you’ve got to practice/practice/practice! As Walt Disney famously said, “If you can dream it, you can do it!” And the biggest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low. Consider for a moment the persistence of Malala Yousafzai, the young Pakistani girl who persisted in her goal for girls’ education in Pakistan despite being shot, now that’s resolve!

Self masteryThe fourth key is to expect yourself to take a few steps backwards along the way. On the road to self-mastery, back-sliding is part of the journey. You won’t get everything right the first time. So, when backsliding happens, practice self-kindness, self-acceptance and self-compassion so you can kick-start your progress again. I did that with a host of things I wanted to learn, from skiing to mountain climbing to learning a foreign language. When you fall off your diet for a day or a weekend, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You’ve just backslid. Like who hasn’t! Start again. Start again and again, as many times as it takes to reattach to your compelling vision about what your life will be like when you’ve succeeded. I only quit drinking once, and I succeeded, yay for me, but I quit smoking, I’ve gotta admit, 32 times, before I got it right.

Swami Vivekananda said, “Never mind these failures, these little backslidings; hold the ideal a thousand times, and even if you fail a thousand times, do it again and again!”

Self masteryThe fifth key is to live by the principle of moderation. Self-mastery isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. This has always been the hardest one for me: We Type-A people can find ourselves sprinting out of the starting gate at full bore, only to exhaust ourselves and be unable to proceed. When we can see that the world we want or the goal we want is just at the end of our exertions, we want to get there as fast as possible. But self-mastery takes time, and you only have so much energy. So, give yourself permission to give 75% instead of anything more. By pushing or straining yourself, you deplete yourself and it’s hard to keep your eyes on the prize when you can hardly get out of bed in the morning. Speaking of that, let me encourage you to get way more sleep than you are probably currently getting: fatigue is a deal breaker when you’re trying to achieve self-mastery. Honestly, if you can get into the habit of little 15 or 20 minute power naps, and take them before 3pm so they don’t disturb your rest at night, it will really open your creativity, plus make your life a heck of a lot more joyful and fun!

Self masteryThe sixth key is lighten up! C’mon, this is a fun key. It’s far too easy to take ourselves and our desired growth too seriously. Have fun along the way. If you don’t, your mind or body will revolt. We are human beings, not human doings. Allow yourself to be in ways that make your life meaningful and fun. Stay light-hearted. Laugh at yourself. Be playful, even as you’re evolving into self-mastery. My fav example at the moment is Alex Honnold, the American rock climber who climbed El Capitan in Yosemite National Park in just under 4 hours without a rope! Talk about self-actualized! I spent an entire summer trying to climb El Cap with a rope, with no luck, so go, Alex!

Self masteryThe seventh key is to set mini goals. There is, unfortunately, no shortcut to self-mastery. The route includes setting mini goals, or what I like to call baby steps. Baby steps take you to the next solid place. Baby steps are the steps that lie within reach. Reaching each one helps measure your progress so you can celebrate along the way. Celebrating your advancement at each step is important. Anything you dream can be yours by simply focusing on each step along the way, not the overall journey. Another great example of youthful self-mastery would be Greta Thunberg, who, despite her autism, has managed to grab the world by storm on the subject of the climate crisis. If you know her story, she took step after step to achieve her goals, and imagine the resolve it took for a 15-year-old girl to protest so loudly outside the Swedish parliament that she got the government to change their carbon emission standards. Now, that’s self-actualization!

Self masteryThe eighth key is Cultivate Your Physical Energy. Whatever road to mastery you take, you will need a healthy reserve of physical energy to get from where you are to where you want to go. Without it, whenever you backslide, or feel stressed, or whenever you need to overcome resistance, you’ll be too depleted to lift yourself over the hurdle. Your willpower will only last as long as the energy you have in the tank!

You can increase your energy by eating super nutritious food, by having 4 or 5 or even 6 little meals a day to keep your blood sugar even, by getting enough sleep as I mentioned earlier, by meditating every day, and, this is maybe most important, by doing some regular fun physical activity. It doesn’t matter if you like to walk or swim or play a sport, or prefer to do yoga, or tai chi, or dance, but whatever you enjoy, set a reminder on your watch or phone, so you have time set aside for some movement to gather more energy.

Self masteryThe ninth key is to be really honest with yourself. Making excuses is your ego’s way of deflecting blame and shame to make you appear to others as better than you actually think you are, inside. And feeling worse about yourself (ego deflation) is also not helpful. Taken to extremes, both ego inflation and ego deflation can be a problem. To pursue self-mastery, an honest self-assessment is crucial. Honest self-assessment frees up the energy that our egos are accustomed to stealing in attempts to maintain the lies that we tell ourselves. So, start by honing in on your true feelings by keeping your thoughts somewhere private, like your phone or a locked app on your laptop, where you can honestly write out your hopes, dreams, and especially your fears. Or share these really personal thoughts with someone you trust will keep them confidential – perhaps your energy medicine practitioner. And remember what Franz Kafka said: “Don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions relentlessly.”

In a nutshell, we to be really honest with ourselves about what we want, and then take risks, instead of lying to ourselves and making excuses so we don’t have to step out of our comfort zone.

Self masteryThe final key, #10, is Establish Empowering Rituals. If you’re into sports, like I am, you know how the greatest athletes have rituals that put them into a state of peak performance so they can execute at their absolute best. Or, if you’re into spirituality, like I am, chances are you’ve read all the great spiritual teachers and you know what special practices they adopt to get into that same zone. I can assure you, the zone for peak physical performance is the same zone for properly practiced prayer and meditation. But more on that another day! When it comes to self-mastery, establishing rituals to perform can be just the key you need to reach the next step in your journey. Daily practice is an absolute requirement. By making it a habit, you re-wire your brain to operate at greater and greater levels of refinement. That is what rituals are for. We engage in spiritual ceremonies, like Deborah King Live on Facebook that we engage in every other Tuesday at 2 pacific, in order to create a safe place to work through our most complicated feelings, so we won’t have to carry those feelings around with us forever.

I absolutely love what Joseph Campbell had to say about all of this: “A ritual is the enactment of a myth. And, by participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth wisdom of your psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are put in accord with that wisdom, which is the wisdom that is inherent within you at your deepest level.” People have traditionally turned to activities like my Facebook Live, being in community and sharing through stories and prayer and song, to help us on our forever journey toward self mastery, to help us live in the daily paradox of trauma mixed with joy.

Finally, one more thought: discovering a great talent, capacity, or strength within yourself that demands nurturance can be exhilarating, but it can also bring feelings of danger and responsibility. It may demand that you stand alone, cultivating inner strength instead of seeking support from your environment. The path to growth and self-mastery is invariably difficult at times. It’s uncomfortable moving out of the known into the unknown. Even if the known is not ideal or even desirable, it’s at least familiar. And since we all have a need for safety, there will always be an attraction to staying within the familiar. So still honoring your need for safety, let me help you further on your journey into the great unknown. Enjoy practice for practice’s sake. Transform yourself slowly, steadily, daily, and next thing you know, you’ll be in self-mastery!

Attaining self-mastery first starts with truly understanding yourself on a deep level. What drives you? What’s holding you back? What emotional road blocks must you overcome to break through and achieve the life you are meant to live?

A good place to start is our bestselling course: Inner Secrets of You. It is designed to help you not only understand yourself, but also give you the knowledge (and power) to understand those around you on the deepest level. Click here to learn more about this course >>