10 Ways to Get Through the Holidays


You hadn’t even taken that last bite of pumpkin pie when the madness began: buy now, pay later, check out where to get it cheapest by scanning labels on your smart phone. Jingle bells, snow days, Christmas lights on palm trees, and lists—oh those lists. Who can I afford to buy a present for this year? Who gets homemade cookies? Who has time to bake? Do I have to attend two Christmas dinners in one day to keep everybody happy? Will Uncle Willie get drunk and try to grab me again? It’s stress, stress, stress.

Or maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe you have no one to celebrate with, no one to buy presents for, and during this dark time of year, you find yourself getting really down in the dumps. Maybe you lost a loved one this year and the holidays just won’t be the same. You’re not going around singing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Do you always get stressed out around the holidays? Too much to do and not enough time or money and/or lonely and depressed? Is there a big difference between how you think you’re supposed to feel and how you are actually feeling?

Here are 10 ideas for getting through the holiday season in one piece:

  1. Give yourself a break. One of the fastest routes to holiday depression is unrealistic expectations. Be as honest with yourself as possible and set realistic goals. You can’t host the ideal holiday get-together for 20 while working full-time and shopping for the kids and extended family and friends. Don’t be embarrassed to make your holiday celebration a pot luck and spread the work around. As Jane Fonda says, “perfect is over-rated.”
  2. Don’t be afraid to change your holiday traditions. If you’re a working mom, don’t try to replicate the holiday your stay-at-home mother used to put on. If you’ve gotten divorced, give your kids the gift of a shared holiday without fighting over who gets the kids for which part of the celebrations.
  3. Keep some sort of routine going. Self care is really important. If you can’t make it to the gym or yoga class, at least go out for a walk. If you stop exercising and are eating and drinking all the holiday goodies, you’ll wind up feeling sluggish (never mind that your jeans won’t zip up anymore) and a little depressed. And try to get as much sleep as your body needs.
  4. Build in some downtime. All the holiday visiting, the relatives coming, the traveling, doesn’t mean you stop giving yourself some breathing space. Families can be a great source of joy, but also a great source of chaos and misery. Take some time each day just for you.
  5. And speaking of families, remember that you aren’t married to them. Feel free to opt out of family at the holidays without any guilt whatsoever.
  6. Keep in mind that alcohol is a depressant. Eggnog is yummy—in small amounts. Parties don’t have to make you depressed. And drink plenty of water.
  7. If you’ve lost a loved one, find a way to celebrate that person’s life, whether it’s lighting a candle for them when the family gathers or having a good cry on Christmas Eve telling stories of how he or she always loved that night.
  8. A wonderful way to feel better during this season is to forgive those who have hurt you. Let go of the past. Don’t be disappointed if your holidays aren’t like they were in the “good old days.” Embrace the changes your life has brought. Your spirit will thank you.
  9. If you feel alone and blue, find a way to help others. Serve holiday dinners at a homeless shelter, visit a nursing home to sing carols, work with a group that helps underprivileged or hospitalized children, send gift packages to those devastated by Hurricane Sandy, write cards to soldiers overseas, and remember what the holidays are really about—bringing more light into the world.
  10. Drop by a church or synagogue or mosque or temple or reading room or meditation space. Spending 10 or 15 minutes sitting quietly in a dedicated space is a great way to take a deep breath and drop the rushing around in the midst of a stressful time.

Simple Acts of Kindness

You can have Thanksgiving with or without turkey but you can’t have Thanksgiving without expressing gratitude. Simple acts of kindness were very visible in the days and weeks following Superstorm Sandy. Everyone thinks of New Yorkers and Jersey-ites as tough folk, but they were as busy thinking about their neighbors as about themselves in the aftermath of this catastrophic event.


It’s hard to imagine the “city that never sleeps” being totally dark below 40th Street. No power, which means no hot shower, no hot food, no heat, no elevators, no land line phones, no computer, no TV, no gas available for the car, and no way to charge the cell phone when texting is the only means of communication. So what happened?


A New York startup company named Moxy set up a cell-phone charging station that also broadcast Wi-Fi at a branch of Chase bank. Duracell, the battery company, drove its trucks into battered Battery Park with phone chargers and internet accessible laptops. Homes that had power set up extension cords and power strips so passersby could charge their phones. Even the CNN news truck that Anderson Cooper was working out of in the devastated city of Hoboken shared power for people to charge their phones and get online to assure loved ones of their safety. Gyms that had power opened their doors free to non-members so they could have showers and at least get in a work-out. Some doctors set out signs on the street offering free medical care. Various restaurants offered free meals. Individuals set up tables filled with snacks, or hot coffee. People whose homes had power brought in friends and sometimes total strangers to share a meal, a hot shower, or a place to sleep. A large veterinary practice offered free office visits for traumatized pets. Whole Foods set out free provisions. Everyone pitched in. Rather than further burdening official rescue workers, some private citizens took jet skis or row boats or even inflated air mattresses to bring stranded storm victims to dry land. Facebook and Twitter were flooded with offers of shelter and hot showers.


Why does it take an event of this magnitude to bring out the best in us?


It’s so easy to do something small and simple that can bring a smile to someone’s face, can lighten someone’s burden for a moment or two, or can actually change someone’s life. Here are 25 suggestions for simple acts of kindness:

  1. Help someone who is struggling with old age or heavy bags to cross the street.
  2. Stand up for someone who is being bullied.
  3. Offer to buy a meal for a homeless person.
  4. Pay the toll for the car behind you.
  5. For your birthday, get the same number of dollar bills as your age and hand them out during the day.
  6. Spread holiday cheer by paying for strangers to fill up their cars with gas.
  7. Post a request on social media for a homebound invalid to receive cards and well wishes.
  8. Stop to help an animal that has been injured.
  9. Stand near a busy street holding a sign that says “Love.”
  10. Put some coins in someone else’s parking meter.
  11. Send someone a note of thanks.
  12. Pay for the drinks or food at the next table in a restaurant.
  13. Give a big tip to someone who doesn’t expect it.
  14. Pick up trash instead of ignoring it.
  15. Compliment someone.
  16. Give another driver your parking spot.
  17. Let a car in front of you in traffic.
  18. Tell your family members or your co-workers or boss how much you appreciate them.
  19. Leave a book on a train or bus for someone else to read.
  20. Let that harried mother go ahead of you on line in the grocery store.
  21. Thank the people in your community who make a difference—the police, firemen, teachers, nurses, bus drivers . . .
  22. Cheer up the lonely.
  23. Clean up graffiti.
  24. Adopt a soldier.
  25. Smile.


Put the thanks back in Thanksgiving. You’ll be amazed at how doing something as small as smiling at a store clerk or sincerely thanking the person who prepared your holiday meal can make you feel better about yourself and the world. For my part, let me thank you for your willingness to work on yourselves and your interest in healing and higher consciousness.


Summer Solstice Celebration: Tap into the Mayan Energy!

Our Summer Solstice is just around the corner! June 20th is the day we celebrate the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and what a magnificent day it is! The Summer Solstice is a magical time in the year when you can connect to the ancient Mayan energy and recharge your mind, body and spirit.

The word “solstice” comes from the Latin terms “sol” meaning “sun” and “sistere” meaning “to stand still.” Our Summer Solstice is the day when the sun reaches its highest position in the sky as seen from our hemisphere and appears to stand still before it heads south again. It is the day when the tilt of our planet in its hemisphere is most inclined towards the sun. It is also the longest day and shortest night of the year. While those of us in the Northern Hemisphere celebrate in June, folks in the Southern half of the Earth have their Summer Solstice celebration in December.

A major celestial event, the Mayans believed the Summer Solstice to be a time for spiritual initiation and change. They held special ceremonies on the solstice dates to balance the earth’s energy. The Summer Solstice for the Southern Hemisphere this December also happens to be the same date that marks the end of the Mayan calendar. While there are many theories about the significance of the Mayan calendar end and December’s Summer Solstice, I believe that this day signifies a time when our world as we know it will change for the better, and a new consciousness will spread across the Earth. So the Summer Solstice is indeed a time for celebration and change, especially this year in 2012!

Like the Mayans who were very aware of their different states of altered consciousness, you can learn to increase your own consciousness and embody your self-awareness and higher self during this enchanted time. The Summer Solstice is an ideal time for you to let go of your ego and old patterns of suppression and focus on what you wish to bring into your life. This is a time for you to invite the sun’s energy and connect with your higher self. And this is the perfect occasion for you to feel inspired, to follow your dreams, and to truly listen to your higher self.

Here are some tips on how you can embrace your own Summer Solstice celebration and renew yourself this year:

  • Live your truth: Be true to yourself and to others. Listen to your higher self and do what feels right to you.
  • Ground yourself: Hug a tree, lay on the grass, take a walk in nature.
  • Detox with a bath of sea salt and baking soda.
  • Consult your Spirit Guides to assist you in your healing process and to help guide you through changes.
  • Drink lots of water!
  • Make a list of what you wish to bring into your life: people, qualities, events – what do you want to see change?
  • Nurture yourself: this is a great time to lose weight, clean your house, change your nutrition, develop a passion or new hobby.
  • Spend some time outside – enjoy the sunshine!
  • Find time to relax and time that is just “you” time – no kids, family, work – just quiet time for you to let your mind and body refresh itself!
  • Get enough sleep: change can be exhausting on the body! Make sure you get enough zzz’s!
  • Proper Nutrition: it is vital, especially during this time, that you are strong, healthy and balanced.
  • Be open to change and new energy, and you will increase its presence within you!

Great growth and change are just around the corner! The fulfillment you are seeking in your life can be achieved! Listen to your higher self and be open to this wondrous change! Let the Mayan energy in and embrace its power and awareness. Enjoy your Summer Solstice celebration – you are in for a real treat this year!


Clear Skies Ahead

In California, where I live on occasion, the earth shakes periodically, and fire scorches our “golden” hills. On the East Coast, wind and water have been the elements of destruction lately. We tend to forget about the power of Mother Nature until she grows fierce and threatens our usual way of life.

Irene brought us back to reality. The name Irene comes from Greek mythology, where she is the Goddess of Peace. Tell that to the folks who have had to abandon whole towns and communities near overflowing rivers and streams. This peaceful lady did something no one has ever been able to do before: totally shut down New York City mass transit and mandated the evacuation of hundreds of thousands of people from low-lying areas. The “better safe than sorry” refrain is only heard, it seems, when disaster is imminent, not in the planning stages before we build our homes and businesses in flood or fire zones, or sitting on top of major earthquake faults.

Many of us were glued to the Weather station or to our favorite news programming for days as we watched Irene crawl up a thousand miles of coastline. There’s a part of us that loves to watch Mother on a rampage, as long as we’re not the ones directly in her path. It awakens the desire to break free of all restraints, to go wild, to throw dishes and break windows, to dance in the wind and wash away complacency in a roaring flood.

We forget that we, too, are governed by the same elements as nature: fire, air, space (ether), earth, and water. Millennia ago, the seers of ancient India recognized this fact when they created the first medical system, Ayurveda, which is based on balancing the elemental energies, called doshas: vata is air and space, pitta is fire and water, and kapha is water and earth. Ayurvedic practitioners understand what aggravates each dosha, and what food and lifestyle choices can bring it back into balance. Ayurveda also has a regime for purification, called panchkarma, that eliminates toxins from the system.

Natural “disasters” are purification on a big scale. The old gets swept away, bringing the opportunity to reevaluate the strength of infrastructure and the health of our governing bodies. They bring out bravery—like risking electrocution to save a child—and compassion for the victims. They unite us as we work together to save a city or rebuild what has been wrecked. There’s no one to blame—no terrorists, no evil megalomaniacs. Just an acceptance of what is beyond our control and an understanding of what must be done. Not a bad lesson to remember when the skies clear.


Worried about radiation? 5 ways to release the fear.

Fear is such a limiting condition—it limits our enjoyment of life in so many ways. We can see the effects of fear as we watch people react to the damaged nuclear power plant in Japan.

I’m sure the Japanese people who lived in the vicinity of the Fukushima Daiichi plant are worried, and with good reason. The evacuation zone has been extended to 18.6 miles of the plant, and those within the 50 mile zone have been advised to stay indoors. Even residents of Tokyo, 140 miles away from the still-smoking plant, are concerned, as they learn that the level of radiation in their drinking water has rendered it unsafe for infants. It will be weeks before the situation at the plant itself can be brought under control.

Yet the Japanese people, on the whole, seem remarkably calm. So why are there are people in the U.S., thousands of miles away, emptying the shelves of stores of potassium iodide tablets? Fear. Fear can save us when we are in danger, but when we are not, as in this case, it can hurt us.

There is no need to panic. Please read my blog in the Huffington Post at https://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/radiation-panic_b_838004.html to learn five ways to release any fear you might be feeling about potential exposure to radiation.


Experiencing Great Energy at the Hay House I Can Do It! Event in Toronto

Over the Memorial Day weekend I had the pleasure to spend time with nearly 900 people who came to embrace the power of their energy in my workshop.  I want to thank you all for your participation at the event and your many comments on Facebook. The energy in the room from the very beginning was amazing!

Deborah King Speaks to nearly 1000 people in Toronto at the Hay House I Can Do it Conference 2010!
Deborah King – I Can Do It! – Toronto 2010

In addition, thanks also to the more than 700 of you who waited so patiently for hours to see me after the workshop.  I am so sorry that the time (and books) ran out and I was unable to meet some of you personally.  If you were unable to connect with me and you had a question, please write to me at [email protected] with your personal question.  I will take the time to answer it.

Line to see master heal Deborah King at the Hay House I Can Do It Truth Heals Workshop in Toronto
Deborah King – Truth Heals workshop line for book signing and healing – I Can Do It! – Toronto 2010

If you’re hoping to see me, I’ll be spending all of June in Europe. I will be doing workshops in the UK; both in London and N. England, in Dublin, and half a dozen different cities in Germany and Austria. I’d love to work with you there – all the details and registration info is on the event pages of both our website, DeborahKing.com and HayHouse.com’s event page.

I’ll be back in the US in July, putting on a retreat at Kripalu in Massachusetts.  Kripalu is a great place to work with me as it has a beautiful, pastoral setting. You’ll find info about the Kripalu retreat on our website.  We still have some space so come be with us there!


International Women’s Day goes in-hand with the Oscars


The 82nd Academy Awards showed us what women can accomplish. Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman to ever receive an Oscar for Best Director, a highly prestigious award that should lay to rest forever the old saw that “There are no good female directors.” And this was a woman telling a war story—The Hurt Locker”—that takes place in post-invasion Iraq. Then she had to turn right around and accept a second Oscar for Best Picture.

The following day was International Women’s Day, which reminded us of how far we are from reaching a place where all women around the world enjoy equal rights and equal opportunities. Much progress has been made over the last 100 years since International Women’s Day started, but there’s still further to go. Read my Huffington Post blog about it at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/international-womens-day_b_490724.html


“I Can Do It!” – San Diego

I’ve just returned from the Hay House I Can Do It! conference in San Diego, and it was a big hit! I had the opportunity to meet and mingle with other authors, did a Hay House live radio show with author Lauren Mackler, and held a Sunday afternoon workshop for over 175 people. The energy in the room was humming with healings and initiations! All in all, it was a very fulfilling experience. Remember to check out the events page here to see if I’m going to be in your area soon. I love meeting you all in person!

Hay House "I Can Do It!" event in San Diego