TV Violence Huffington Post

TV Violence: Enough is Enough

This article originally appeared on The Huffington Post. You can read the entire article here.

When you wake up to the news that 59 people have been murdered and over 527 more injured in Las Vegas, many of them in critical condition, and realize that one man—one!—did this to 600 people in 9 minutes, you have to wonder: why do we live in such a violent country? In the U.S., more than 30,000 Americans are killed each year with guns.1

So what did the killer do as a child? My bet is he was affected by violent shows, just like the recent Washington high school shooter, Caleb Sharpe, who was enamored of TV shows like “Breaking Bad” and “Game of Thrones,” and movies like “American Psycho.” 2

Uncaring Health Care

Uncaring Health Care

I have never been a particularly political person. I vote in presidential elections, but am oblivious to local and state office holders. I survived the Nixon years, the Clinton years, and the Bush years with little involvement. Even the impeachment processes for Nixon and Clinton got little attention from me. I was deeply enmeshed in advancing my spirituality and developing skills to help others. But now I’m truly upset—over health care. I’m shocked at the cruelty of Congress in gutting Medicaid (and other provisions in the Better Care Reconciliation Act also known as Trumpcare) in order to finance major tax cuts for the wealthy.

Medicaid is the health insurance for the 74 million Americans who are disabled or lower income and 40 percent of those are children. They are being thrown under the bus in order to provide a tax break to those who earn more than $200,000 a year, to pharmaceutical companies, and to insurance companies.

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Shame on Him, Not on You

Powerful men in the public eye seem to think they can have their way and get away with it all. But eventually they get caught, and the litany of their lies and excuses is embarrassing. Just look at the apologies offered by Anthony Weiner, DSK (the Frenchman vs. the hotel maid), John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Arnold Schwarzenagger, Bill Clinton, and a host of others over the years.

Some broke the law, like Edwards using campaign money to fund his trysts, while others simply lost the public trust and broke their wives’ hearts. These woman had to deal with public humiliation as well as with their private suffering over their husbands’ betrayals.

Read my blog, “Weiner: Shame on Him, Not on Huma,” in the Huffington Post at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-king/weinershame-on-him-not-on_b_873436.html for more on this topic and be sure to comment on it there; would love to bring this shameful behavior more into the open, where it can be healed.

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Joking on the Job – Not Something To Laugh About!

I was recently interviewed for the Star-Ledger to discuss appropriate & inappropriate comments in the workplace.  During our discussion we examined the recent flap over David Letterman’s one-liners about Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter.  I think this  has served as a reminder that people often cross the line of appropriateness even when they think they’re being funny.

Anything that involves the big five — gender, religion, age, sexual orientation or ethnicity — are off limits.  They’re completely inappropriate for the workplace. Please take a minute to read the original post as I provided some cues for workers to follow if they think a joke-telling colleague is crossing the line.  You can read the entire post here.

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Elizabeth Edwards: Is it really about Resilience?

I have received a great number of comments and calls about my apparently controversial ideas about Elizabeth Edwards and her publicity tour for her book Resilience.  In addition to the calls and comments I have received, I was on CNN Headline News yesterday examining the questions created by her media tour with host Mike Galanos.

The one question no one seems to be asking in the midst of this whirlwind media blitz is: What can we learn from this?  Read my complete analysis and exploration of this topic on the Huffington Post.    www.huffingtonpost.com

Excerpt from the Huffington Post:  “As her book title indicates, Elizabeth thinks she’s demonstrating that when the wind blows rough, the tough adjust their sails. But the more important lesson may be all about how denial and revenge don’t work.”

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Oprah Interview of Elizabeth Edwards

It was fascinating watching Elizabeth Edwards’ body language as Oprah interviewed her, and that of her husband (for a brief time at the end). As much as Elizabeth and John have been working on their trust issues, I think she still has some inner work to do to restore her shattered self-confidence. Despite her obvious desire for a marriage that promised “happily ever after,” writing a book that brings the whole sordid affair back into public scrutiny might not have been the way to go. Read my analysis in the Huffington Post.

She held up fairly well during the interview, although the self-doubt she expressed as the wronged woman–did I dress all wrong at home, what do I mean to my husband, the classic “what’s wrong with me”– was echoed in the way she held herself hunched inward. The issues of trust they are working on as a couple are equaled by the shaken trust in herself: she had failed to keep her husband faithful–the one thing that meant the most to her. (While tempted, I won’t digress here and talk about how she “took on” her mother’s issue of spousal infidelity) Read more

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Why is Elizabeth Edwards going public with her marital problems?

I am always trying to increase awareness, so it’s important that we look at even the unpleasant truths in our lives. It’s interesting to see the amount of denial in Elizabeth Edwards regarding her husband’s affair with a woman she won’t even name. Unfortunately, she knew that John’s candidacy was doomed because the truth was bound to come out, and yet she kept standing there…as his main cheerleader. Political wives are in a difficult situation when their husbands stray, and like Hillary Clinton or Silda Spitzer, Elizabeth stood by her man. Why do they do that? Read my blog on the Huffington Post.

Let’s take the denial first. I mean, wouldn’t you want to know if your husband had fathered an illegitimate child? Pulling the shades down over your eyes and never ever saying out loud the name of the “other woman” (or not allowing Oprah to say her name) won’t help a bit. I’ll say it: Rielle Hunter–a reportedly broke single mother who is probably not the crazy stalker Elizabeth paints as the root of all evil. Read more

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Elizabeth Edwards: The Lies that Bind

Hi Steph,

Thank you for taking the time to vent! Just a couple of clarifications:

1. No doubt Bill Clinton respects and admires Hillary’s many talents, but I believe he also sometimes feels quite intimidated by her (who wouldn’t?!) and that that is one factor that leads him to his countless infidelities. My guess is they stay together for a host of complex reasons that include love and public status.

2. I made no comment on the importance or lack thereof of sexual fidelity in a relationship but Elizabeth did; perhaps you’re recalling her statement.

3. People don’t cause cancer; emotions can though. As a health and wellness expert, I’ve worked with thousands of cancer patients and see many of them turn the corner and begin their recovery when they are able to face their emotions and move through them. A woman like Elizabeth who is still in denial, i.e., can’t even bring herself to name the enemy, has a way to go however. I do believe that Elizabeth might well have a significant improvement in her health if she were to look at this situation more honestly. Writing a “tell all” and dragging your errant spouse on national TV is a great payback but doesn’t address the real pain that lies underneath.
More on Hillary Clinton
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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The Lies We Tell Ourselves

All we need to do is look. Look and acknowledge what we really see, instead of what we wish we could see. If we feel unloved, if we feel hurt, if we feel sad, we need to see it and acknowledge it. If there is one lesson to be learned from seasoned liars – Rod Blagojevich, Bernie Madoff, OJ Simpson, the list goes on and on – it is that even if our lies are not on the same scale as theirs, they can surely do as much damage. To our psyches, our bodies, our souls. We can learn from liars – not to become better liars! – but to jumpstart emotional healing. My thoughts on the lies we tell ourselves can be found on my blog at the Huffington Post, Posted January 26, 2009 | 02:39 PM (EST)

There is a long list of people who lie and unfortunately it’s growing these days, whether it’s another author whose “memoir” never happened or a chat-room flame who isn’t who he claims to be. We’ve grown wearily accustomed to lies from the heads of our most established institutions-financial, political, or… Read Post

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Body Language of Obama and McCain

Body Language of Obama and McCain

Yesterday’s meeting of Obama and McCain revealed interesting body language. Obama had his legs widely crossed, he lounged back in his chair and angled his body toward McCain, all of which signified openness and a high level of ease. McCain, on the other hand, seemed pretty ill at ease. That’s not a criticism — any of us would feel the same. His legs were crossed very tightly (more like a woman’s), he sat up ramrod straight and his body was angled straight ahead, not at Obama. All of this simply demonstrates  that we can’t hide how we really feel to others — our bodies speak louder than words.

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Yes We Can – But Not With Her

When I learned John McCain had selected Sarah Palin to be his running mate, I thought, “Hallelujah! No matter who wins, it will be an historic first.” Then I saw and heard Sarah Palin, and thought, “No! If they win, no one wins. Women certainly do not win. In fact, we will be set back a century.” From her seduction of the camera to her inexcusable ignorance, Governor Palin’s brand of politics we can do without. Is this what we want to teach our daughters? That women don’t succeed on their merit but on their resemblance to a Barbie doll? Learn what Sarah Palin’s demeanor tells us about her anti-feminist ideals at my blog on the Huffington Post.

Posted November 12, 2008 | 07:22 AM (EST)
Sarah Palin hasn’t gone away. Oh, she may be back in Alaska, but she’s also all over the media, as in recent interviews with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News, on the Today show with Matt Lauer, and on Larry King Live. Even Oprah has invited Sarah to her show!… Read Post

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Reawakening the American Dream

Goethe wrote, “In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” We chose hope with Barack Obama’s election to the highest office in the land. After years of being stuck in a quagmire of dishonesty and negativity, it is like spring to have a positive force in the White House. A great office needs a great person, and in Obama, we fortunately have one who acts with grace, compassion, and composure. To navigate us through this difficult time, we need a figure who can garner respect throughout the world – not just in moneyed circles but in the furthest reaches of the world. For more of my thoughts on the politics of the day, visit my blog at the Huffington Post.

Posted November 6, 2008 | 02:26 PM (EST)
It’s been a long time coming, this resurrection of hope and excitement in America, and around the world. I’ve been inundated with calls and emails from all over the world celebrating the direction our country has taken. In this global age, when it is possible for a small village in… Read Post

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Anything is possible. At last.

 

Last night was a momentous occasion in the history of this country, and in the world. Racial barriers not only crumbled, they disintegrated. Young Afro-Americans have a new image of what they can become when they grow up. And all of us can see in the spousal body language of Barack and Michelle Obama what it means to have real love and intimacy in a marriage relationship.

Those were real heartwarming hugs and kisses, direct eye contact and ear-to-ear smiles. The joy was apparent, as clear as the fact that they were in this together. During his speech last night, Obama said, “We would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend of the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama.” Or as Whoppi Goldberg put it on this morning’s The View, there will be “a whole lot of whooping going on” in the Obama White House.

Body language tells us a lot about people. And what it tells us about our next President and his First Lady is that the White House will be a true home filled with tenderness and love, a place of safety and security for their two girls, and a place from which compassion and understanding can radiate out to the world.