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Anything is possible. At last.

 

Last night was a momentous occasion in the history of this country, and in the world. Racial barriers not only crumbled, they disintegrated. Young Afro-Americans have a new image of what they can become when they grow up. And all of us can see in the spousal body language of Barack and Michelle Obama what it means to have real love and intimacy in a marriage relationship.

Those were real heartwarming hugs and kisses, direct eye contact and ear-to-ear smiles. The joy was apparent, as clear as the fact that they were in this together. During his speech last night, Obama said, “We would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend of the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama.” Or as Whoppi Goldberg put it on this morning’s The View, there will be “a whole lot of whooping going on” in the Obama White House.

Body language tells us a lot about people. And what it tells us about our next President and his First Lady is that the White House will be a true home filled with tenderness and love, a place of safety and security for their two girls, and a place from which compassion and understanding can radiate out to the world.

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No Love Lost

At first, John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin as vice-presidential candidate made great sense: someone young to balance his age; a beautiful woman to his distinguished man; someone who could deliver a “first” in American history. But then they started spending time together and that façade quickly vanished. Was anyone fooled into thinking that these two – who could barely stand to look at each other – could come together to run the country? Especially during these times? Body language tells us much more than empty words, and they spoke volumes about these running mates. Fortunately for all of us, the American public listened. I discuss this odd couple in my blog at the Huffington Post.

Posted October 30, 2008 | 10:36 AM (EST)
The romance is obviously over. If John McCain could have gotten away with not hugging Sarah Palin on stage at the rally in Hershey, Pennsylvania, he certainly would have done so. His body language spoke loud and clear as they fake hugged: “Let’s get this over with. You’re the worst… Read Post

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The World is Sarah’s Battleground

Where Sarah Palin goes, controversy follows. From those who claimed she would be the savior of the Republican Party to those who say Trig is not her son but her grandson, Governor Palin certainly makes great news. Love her or hate her, she’s omnipresent because of her beautiful appearance in the ugly world of politics. But beneath the “aw shucks” surface lies a classic psychopath, as defined by Lowen’s psychodynamics principles. The governor is out for one thing: power. Or perhaps two: power and herself. Read my blog post on Psychology Today to find out why Sarah Palin lacks the emotional health and balance to be a “heartbeat away from the oval office.”

Posted on September 10, 2008 – 10:51am in Psychology Today
Sarah Palin is a classic “psychopath” as defined by Lowen psychodynamics, a system that analyzes the inner forces that affect behavior. Read More

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Spiritual Energy: A Renewable, Sustainable Resource

And they’re off! Campaigns are marathons. Long grueling days, followed by long, grueling nights. You see the crew of your private plane more than your family. You watch yourself on the news, listening to constant critiques and analyses. You wonder if you’ll get a break, and if you do, will it be in four years or eight? Getting a break means you’ve lost. In this world, we expect our politicians to have superhuman endurance. The human body can’t live on hotels and adrenaline forever. Our leaders need a plan in place – not just for the economy or foreign relations. A plan for dealing with the physical and mental turmoil of office and keeping their spiritual energy renewed. Why do leaders need inner peace? Check out my blog at Psychology Today to find out more.

July 14, 2008 – 2:30pm in Psychology Today
Sometimes watching the news feels like reading the old Dick and Jane books. Run, spot, run! There they are, the presumed candidates, running, running, running.

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Truth & Politics – Dear Hillary

DEAR HILLARY
March 10, 2008

 

It’s time to take a good long look in the mirror—beyond the neatly pressed pantsuit—deep into the source of your current behavior. When you shake your finger at Obama, use sarcasm and other verbal weapons of aggression, and put out 3 a.m. ads based on fear, which Hillary is really speaking?

It’s the little girl who learned from her father that men are powerful and women are weak. And you certainly don’t want to look like a weak woman. Your dad was reputed to be not only verbally abusive, but also a “lady’s man,” much like the one you married—a man who showed his wife and family little respect. You honed the survival skills developed by many of us women: subterfuge, shrewdness, the ability to put on different facades, fake charm. Being yourself wasn’t an option.

It’s the young woman who learned that in order to succeed in law school she had to amputate all that was feminine: your compassion, your intuitive abilities, your heart. Like you, I graduated from law school in 1973, and I learned the very same lessons. It was hard dealing with the male professors (there were few female ones), who tended to ignore or put down the less than 10% of us who were women. I wasn’t going to succeed in that venue unless I became more male, more aggressive, more quick-witted than any guy in the room. Clearly, it was the same for you.

It’s the wife who learned from your marriage to Bill that women are there for his pleasure, to be humiliated and mistreated. We were all right there with you in your humiliation. By the way, Bill doesn’t seem the same these days as he did before his heart surgery; he’s tired and cranky and mean. He also seems to have some real mixed feelings about you being the top dog instead of him. He still wants to be “the man,” not the house-husband (even if the house is the white one). Yet you listen to his advice, and to the advice of others who advocate dirty politics.

As you look into that mirror, dive deep into the feminine truth you could reveal to the world, the one that showed up in your “valedictory” moment at the end of that debate with Obama. The moment when your warmth came through. What would happen if you campaigned on your real strengths—your tenacity and experience, your sharp intellect, as well as your hard-earned life knowledge as a woman and mother—instead of showing you can push that damn button like any man.

Do you really want to buy votes through fear? Do you really want to use the same tactics as Bush?

You know, it’s okay to show your feminine side—the caring and compassionate and nurturing side. We won’t think you’re weak. It’s just your male advisors who are afraid of that. You could set a whole new template for women, especially women like us—those of a “certain age.” Those of us who grew up believing they had to present to the world someone different than who they really are.

Come back from the dark side, Hillary. Drop the old baggage, stop reacting in an old habitual way to perceived threats, and stand tall in the light. You can do it.

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The Truth As We See It

Author Robert Graves wrote, “Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.” When we have the emotional health to trust our intuition, we can cut through a lot of the facades and nice speeches to get to the truth. Can we ever really know the truth about the people we elect to our public offices? We can glean “facts” from the media – but look closer. Look beyond the prepared words, the carefully crafted “candid” shots. What does your intuition tell you about the candidates? For my take on the events of this busy political time, check out my blog on the Huffington Post.

Posted 02.04.2008
In an election year, we are asked to sit in judgment of the candidates and then take our decision into the voting booth. How can we ever know who these people are and what they are capable of? Read Post

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Living on Orange Alert Constantly

After 9-11, the Bush Administration flashed orange and red alert levels, reminding us in Technicolor of the danger we live with. School shootings, massacres in malls, wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, tensions with international communities. And we hear it all day, every day. There is no built-in time anymore for de-stressing. We can watch the Dow all day, and the Asian Markets all night, drowning our sorrows in starchy, sugary, fatty foods. Our physical and emotional health suffers, causing anxiety, depression, fear…But wait, don’t get more depressed! There is good news and steps you can take. Even five minutes of meditation or unwinding each day can start you on a path to increased peace of mind. Start by reading my blog at the Huffington Post.

Posted 12.11.2007
Americans feel increasingly stressed and helpless. Among the most common problem people give voice to are feelings of overwhelming anxiety and depression. Read Post

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Making Gender an Asset, Not a Liability

Hilary Clinton’s near miss of the Democratic nomination for President tells us two things: One, there are still gender myths to be overcome. Two, we are almost there. Women CEOs, Supreme Court Justices, and world leaders show us that women are more than up to the tasks of serious leadership – and yet we are held back. By what? By whom? Whatever your personal opinion of Senator Clinton, she has brought a very important issue to the forefront of our consciousness; will we take the opportunity to explore it? I discuss this in more detail on my blog at the Huffington Post.

Posted 12.07.2007
Is there a knee-jerk reaction to a woman on the presidential ballot? Hillary Clinton–love her or hate her–offers us an extraordinary opportunity to… Read Post

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Mark Foley Scandal

Mark Foley Scandal

October 24, 2006

The news has been abuzz lately with coverage and commentary on the Mark Foley scandal.  Foley resigned from the House of Representatives last month after the release of sexually explicit messages he had sent to teenage congressional pages. After the news broke, Foley’s lawyer then announced that Foley is gay, is now in treatment for alcoholism, and had been molested by a priest when he was 13 years old. The priest, who now lives in Gozo, Malta, has admitted there were incidents of fondling and nudity between the two but says it was not sexual in nature.

Those who are abused as children often perpetuate this behavior as adults. We unwittingly recreate the wounds of childhood in an attempt to heal them. What I am concerned about though, in this situation, is whether the behavior is deemed more repugnant because Foley is homosexual. I wonder how much flack there would be if Foley had been accused of writing sexually suggestive emails to 16 to 21-year-old girls and women. I suspect it would have been a different scenario.

What I also find of concern is that Foley’s behavior went unchecked for his 12 years in Congress. He formed friendships with pages that later lead to online flirtations. His colleagues looked the other way and the pages never reported him because they did not want to make a powerful enemy. This happens far too often in life. We see something happening that we know is wrong but we don’t speak out. We are afraid of being wrong or of causing a dramatic scene or of being accused that we may have contributed to the situation. Silence seems easier. But silence is not easier in the long run. Instead, it is that desire to keep quiet that wounds our bodies and spirits in the long run.

Sometimes using your voice to speak against someone can be so difficult, especially if you deem that person to be a friend or you are afraid there may be repercussions from your actions. However, the truth always comes out. It has to, so that the healing process can begin. When you find yourself in situations when you are not certain if you should speak out or keep quiet, turn to your own inner guidance for the answer.