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GHOSTS AND GOBLINS

 

It’s almost Halloween—the time of year we bring forth all our scary darkness, the ghosts and goblins of our inner world. Scary movies flood the TV, and trick-or-treating youngsters (and their parents) learn the horrors of massive sugar ingestion.

 

Originally called All Hallow’s Eve, the holiday goes back to its pagan roots in the Celtic festival of Samhain, meaning summer’s end—a time to take stock and prepare for the cold months ahead, which were often associated with death. The souls of the dead were supposed to visit their former homes on Samhain eve, and people would wear costumes to ward off the roaming ghosts. Even carving that silly grin on your pumpkin comes from the Samhain custom of carving turnips into lanterns to remember the souls held in purgatory.

 

On Halloween, we feel safe in donning a mask of horror to cover up the usual mask we wear—our everyday faces, which could easily be masking a real monster inside. Think of various serial killers, like Ted Bundy, who looked like the nice guy next door.

 

But not all ghosts and goblins come out on Halloween. There are real life people who express the archetypes of monsters. Stephen King, in his first book, Carrie, portrayed the horrors of adolescence by making Carrie a teenager with a scary, uncontrollable monster side.  Stephen King has broken down monsters into three archetypes—the “thing without a name,” the vampire (a hugely popular monster these days), and the werewolf. He also alludes to a fourth archetype, the ghost.

 

Another way of looking at monster archetypes is to call them “things that should not be,” “things that devour us,” “things with two faces,” and “things that would not die.”

 

“Things that should not be” are the monsters that kill without remorse or pity. They can be mindless beasts or intelligent ones like Frankenstein. We think of these monsters as evil, as demons and devils. In our lives, this archetype can be applied to people we know who lack control over their lower instincts and who make the world a dangerous place for us. A sexual predator who molests a child is living out the monster archetype of a thing that should not be, and turns the world into a dangerous place for the child.

 

“Things that devour us,” like vampires, are like people who prey on us. We provide them with some sort of substance they need.  Zombies need to eat our brains or flesh, vampires need to suck our blood, and then there are parasites that devour us from the inside out, such as those in Alien. When you think of this archetype, think of people who invade your mind or soul, like a cult leader who needs your adulation and not your independent thinking.

 

“The thing with two faces” is the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or the werewolf. Both Dr. Jekyll and the werewolf hide their antisocial nature behind a more pleasant social façade. Many serial killers, like Jeffrey Dahlmer or Norman Bates, hide behind a socially-acceptable exterior. People who hold a lot of power, such as politicians or mob bosses, all are things with two faces. Are there people in your life who have been corrupted by power although they still present a kind face to the world?

 

“The thing that would not die” is the archetype of the ghost. Whether it’s simply an unhappy spirit that hasn’t finished its work on Earth, or a mean avenging banshee, the “thing that would not die” has not moved on to other planes, but sticks around to bring sorrow or death. You can have ghost-like hauntings of former lovers or others who hurt or betrayed you, and they linger in your thoughts and still bring up difficult emotions.

 

Take time this Halloween to look within and see if you are harboring any ghosts or goblins inside yourself. This can be far scarier than the witches and devils that may ring your doorbell. But be brave and see if you can root out any “monster”-type tendencies in your own make-up. Take off the mask you usually wear, and look at your own darkness. Accept it and release it. It’s the best preparation for the coming return of the light.

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Motivations for Becoming a Life Coach

You have reached the point in your life when you realize that your greatest happiness comes from helping others. You want to experience greater spiritual growth and know that service is the key to unlocking your potential. Yet you also need to pay the bills. You can satisfy all those requirements by becoming a life coach. The life coaches that we have trained through the Deborah King Center LifeForce Coaching program come from a wide variety of backgrounds, but all share a common belief that everyone can experience true fulfillment and reach their highest potential.

Are you ready to listen to your intuition, which is saying that life coaching would be a great path for you to follow? Here we share more about the journey of becoming a life coach, so you can envision yourself growing into a richer, greater you.

Navigating Life from Within

During our life coach workshops, you will receive the necessary knowledge and advanced communication techniques to be an effective and confident life coach. You’ll learn to navigate your life from inner wisdom instead of reacting and responding to outside stimuli. You’ll feel like part of the solution—helping to make our world a more peaceful and happier place.

Our LifeForce Coaching program is made up of teaching videos, blueprints, workshops (both live and streaming) and guided meditations. All are designed and targeted to help you achieve your life coaching certification. More specifically:

  • You will be able to overcome obstacles in your own life and achieve better harmony and balance . . . and help others to do the same.
  • You will learn how to be mindful and accountable to your own clients by providing valuable assistance, listening, and guidance.
  • You will learn to understand your clients’ goals and how to help them achieve those goals.

What to Expect

Expect to emerge as a stronger and more compassionate person after taking the journey to become a life coach. Our LifeForce Coaching program will help in every aspect of your life and the life of your clients: family, career, relationships, personal growth, fitness, nutrition, weight, organization, and grief and loss. Why not begin your journey today?

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EXHAUSTION AND MAGNESIUM

You know the feeling—you can’t keep your eyes open for another second. You didn’t sleep well last night, or any night for that matter. The least bit of stress totally wipes you out. You’re snapping at your partner or co-workers. You have no energy for exercise. And you can’t keep up with your work. What’s wrong with you?

 

Well, it could be that you’re overworked and underpaid, stressed out trying to balance work, kids, and aging parents, or that you’re just getting older. But it could also be as simple as a deficiency in magnesium. Three out of every four aren’t getting enough of this vital mineral.

 

Magnesium is needed for more than 300 crucial bodily functions, such as lowering blood pressure, protecting the heart and blood vessels, thinning the blood, relieving constipation, taking care of your bones (along with calcium), helping you to relax and sleep better, preventing diabetes, and boosting your energy. A growing number of health care professionals believe magnesium could be the most important nutrient for health, and certainly for energy.

 

How does magnesium affect your energy? For one thing, too little magnesium can decrease the number of your red blood cells, making it harder for them to deliver oxygen to your tissues. In other words, it’s harder for your body to breathe, and so it has to work harder, making you feel more tired. If you experience heart-pumping anxiety, it might be because your magnesium levels are too low, so your heart has to work harder (beat faster). One scientific study of magnesium in postmenopausal women showed that when they were low in magnesium, they “needed more energy and more oxygen to do low-level activities…”

 

How do you know if you are deficient in magnesium? The most telltale signs are irritability, anxiety, and lethargy. Instead of upping your caffeine intake or relying on sweets for an energy boost, first take a look at what you’re eating and when you’re eating it. To keep enough magnesium in your blood, eat five servings a day of foods that are rich sources of magnesium. The Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for magnesium for women over the age of 31 is 320 milligrams (mg) and for men over 31 it’s 420 mg a day. Spread your five servings over the course of the day to keep replenishing your store of this magnificent mineral. It will take at least a week of eating this way to get your energy back up.

 

Here are the foods that are highest in magnesium:

 

  1. Quinoa—A rare whole grain and complete protein (1/2 cup contains 118 mg of magnesium).
  2. Black Beans—1 cup has 120 mg of magnesium.
  3. Brown Rice—1 cup of brown rice contains 84 mg of magnesium plus essential amino acids. Pair it with black beans for a complete protein and magnesium-rich meal.
  4. Spinach—1/2 cup of boiled spinach has 78 mg of magnesium. Cooked spinach, rather than raw, makes it easier for your body to absorb the minerals during digestion.
  5. Lentils—A great high protein meat substitute, 1 cup of lentils contains 72 mg of magnesium.
  6. Kidney beans—1 cup of kidney beans has 70 mg of magnesium.
  7. Shredded Wheat—1 cup is a good source of fiber and has 61 mg of magnesium. Raisin Bran is another good cereal, with 77 mg of magnesium per cup. Try making muffins from Raisin Bran.
  8. Oatmeal—Begin your day with 1 cup of oatmeal, which contains 61 mg of magnesium.
  9. Whole Wheat Bread—Two slices of whole wheat bread contains 46 mg of magnesium. Get a big energy boost from a midday peanut butter and banana sandwich!
  10. Bananas—A good source of magnesium (up to 32 mg), and also a source of potassium, another nutrient needed by the heart.

 

Other sources of magnesium include soy beans, bran, almonds and brazil nuts, and seeds. A daily multivitamin doesn’t have enough magnesium to take care of a deficiency. So bump up your magnesium-rich foods to ratchet up your energy!

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INNER WISDOM

 

Perhaps you recognize this conversation with yourself: “I really have to upgrade the operating system on my computer and bring my car in for an oil change, but first I have to get my taxes done. Why did I ever file an extension? I won’t have enough time to cook a decent dinner, so it’s pizza again. I’m such an idiot about money. I have no trouble losing money, but lots of trouble losing weight. What a loser! No wonder I don’t have a successful life!”

 

That nagging, self-deprecating voice is your internal judge and jury—the narrative you have going that reflects the way you internalized your parents, teachers, friends, therapists, and lovers, and all the others who contribute to your social conditioning. It’s sort of like an annoying reality show on TV that you can’t seem to shut off, with each character playing a part in your inner drama.

 

There is another voice inside your head, a voice that tends to speak softly, rather than shout at you. It’s the Jiminy Cricket voice, the gently nudging of your conscience. “You shouldn’t have told that lie. Things are going to get complicated. You should really go back to her and admit the truth.” Its promptings are ethical, and it pays to listen to this voice.

 

But there is still another voice that is the expression of your deepest wisdom. Sometimes it comes from your heart, other times from the gut. It definitely doesn’t come from your thinking mind, the one that is so often overrun by mindless chatter. What is inner wisdom? It’s not the stuff you learned in school. It has nothing to do with logic. The “voice” of inner wisdom may not even use words. It’s more like that feeling in the pit of your stomach that says, “Leave now. This place isn’t safe.” Or “this is the apartment for me.”

 

Research has shown that our intuition is accessible on a body level long before our awareness catches up. Scientists in the UK and at the University of Iowa have done studies on body wisdom versus the thinking mind by using decks of cards, some of which were rigged. Very quickly, the players’ heart rates dipped when they went near the decks that were rigged. Another study measured perspiration on the card players’ palms. The players started getting sweatier palms within ten cards, but they couldn’t say that the decks were rigged for sure, from their logical mind, until they reached the 80th card.

 

Do you try to hear your inner wisdom when you have an important decision to make, or when you’re embroiled in challenging circumstances and don’t know how to deal with it? How can you tell which voice is coming from your inner wisdom? Try this. Write the very first answer that comes to you about a question you’re having. When you read it, does it make you feel calm, peaceful, relaxed? If so, it’s a wise response. If it increases your tension and amps up your anxiety, it’s likely coming from  your less wise linear mind.

 

Of course, the best way to get in touch with your inner wisdom is through a contemplative practice like meditation or prayer. After you have sat in deep stillness, the answers you seek can rise like hot air balloons into your consciousness, quietly giving rise to the aha! of true understanding.

 

For many people, learning to listen to their intuition means trusting their gut feelings. Sometimes literally. An assessment of eating habits of female college students at Ohio State University found that those who listened to their body cues of hunger and fullness had a much lower body mass index than the women who tried weight control through counting calories. Intuitive eaters spend more time thinking about how their body feels and functions rather than what their body looks like to others. Try to listen to your stomach’s signals, the deep wisdom of what your body actually needs, and stop eating before you feel stuffed.

 

Yet another way to learn to listen to your intuition is to write down a problem and think about it just before you go to sleep, and your solution will often be within reach when you wake in the morning. Or the answer may even come in a dream, where we aren’t hampered by our logical conscious mind. Dreams have long served as warnings about health issues or other situations that your mind hasn’t yet grasped.

 

Sometimes our inner wisdom can explode in a flash of insight. You meet someone for the first time and you know he’s the one. Or you’re walking down the street and suddenly know you have to go into the restaurant you just passed. You’re not hungry, but something is compelling you. You go in, and there’s a friend you haven’t seen in years who desperately needs your help.

 

Whatever way is easiest for you to connect with your intuitive inner wisdom is the best way for you. There are no rules. No matter if your signals come from tingling fingertips, or from an ache in the gut, or from a sudden flash of insight, listen to what your inner wisdom is trying to reveal and you will have a happier and healthier life.

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SENSORY SATISFACTION

 

Does life seem dull to you? Are you experiencing each day as a sensory feast or has everything lost its zing? Often, as we age, our five senses—taste, touch, sight, hearing, and smell—lose some of their potency. I remember a friend’s father who lost his sense of smell in his eighties, and as a result lost most of his ability to taste food, since smell and taste are intricately related.

You can reawaken senses that have become dulled and once again enjoy life to its fullest.

If you’ve ever watched an infant for any length of time, you’ve seen how totally it embraces each new experience. A baby stares at your face as if it were the Mona Lisa, a work of total wonderment. A sudden noise produces a startle effect. The introduction of each new food can provide a circus-full of smelling, touching, and tasting. And babies are so tuned into vibration that the touch of a stranger can make an infant shrink away.

But adults are so busy thinking, caught up in solving problems and reaching our goals that we tend to ignore the information coming from our senses. We may eat in a rush standing up in the kitchen, or be totally unaware of what we’re tasting as we sit on the couch in front of the TV. We are also under constant bombardment from computers, televisions, smart phones, and a whole host of electronic machinery, as well as noise from the environment like airplanes going overhead or street traffic, so it’s natural for us to shut down to protect against sensory overload.

To enter once again the joy of your sensory kingdom, you can practice returning to a state of child-like innocence. One way to do this is through mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is an awareness of the present moment. You become less attached to thoughts about the past and stop worrying about the future, so you are Here and Now with whatever is in front of you.

Take a moment to try being mindful. Focus your attention on your breathing. Keep your eyes open and breathe normally. Whenever your mind wanders, which it will, keep bringing your attention back to the way the breath feels as it enters and exits at the tip of your nose. Concentration brings your mind into focus and helps to eliminate mental chatter. Mindfulness is beyond concentration. It is a state of awareness, a “presence” of mind. Once you have the idea of bringing yourself into the present moment, use that ability to sharpen your senses—one at a time.

  1. Seeing without labeling: Pick up a familiar object and look at it as if you had just stepped onto another planet and don’t yet have a name for whatever it is or any idea of its function. Observe it. Look at its color and shape. You will feel a heightened sense of “nowness” when you practice conscious observation. Another way to heighten your sense of sight is to pay attention to your peripheral vision instead of focusing on just one small area at a time. And to really awaken your power of observation, start to consciously note what is being said by other people’s body language.
  2. Listening from the place of silence: We are usually not aware of all the noise pollution we live with. We are tuned into the sounds that capture our attention, like cell phone ring tones, but manage to block out the sounds of planes, cars, kids playing in the park across the street (unless they are your kids, of course). Sit quietly, still your mind, and mindfully focus on the sounds you hear—birds in the trees, the traffic from a distant freeway, leaves in the wind, someone playing clarinet. If you can include the sounds in your awareness, you won’t be as upset about “noise.”
  3. Tasting the yumminess: When was the last time you really savored your food? The American palate is bombarded with so much sugar and salt that the subtler flavors are wiped away. Food may seem tasteless without more ketchup or hitting the salt shaker. Prepare a simple meal of fresh unprocessed food. Think about where each food originated and how it made it to your table. Sit down to eat with no distractions—no TV or computer or book or music—and chew each bite slowly to see what flavors are released. If you really want to be shocked, have a friend help you do a blind taste test.
  4. Smelling the roses: Your sense of smell is a direct route to your most vivid memories. You walk past a bakery and inhale the scent of fresh apple pie, and there you are Grandma’s at Thanksgiving. Pick up a lover’s forgotten shirt and you’re likely to bury your face in it to inhale his scent. Take the time to really experience the fragrance of the shampoo or soap you use, or the scent of different herbs or flowers. Try not to clutter your home with artificial aromas; use scented candles or incense instead of air freshener, open windows to air out rooms. Wake up your awareness of what you are breathing in. There’s a reason that another word for inhalation is inspiration.
  5. Touching the core: Touch is one of our most vital sources of information about the world around us. Even the most mundane activities can become a journey of discovery if you pay attention to your sense of touch. For example, try washing the dishes mindfully and a chore can turn into an exhilarating experience!
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DREAM ON


Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but somehow have never found the time to pursue your dream? Maybe you want to walk the Camino in Spain, or trek in the Himalayas. Maybe everyone you know thinks you should audition for “American Idol.” Or there’s a book in you that is itching to get written. How do you go about turning your dream into a reality?

 

Here are 25 tips:

  1. Say it out loud, with confidence. “I am going to try out for “Dancing with the Stars.” Or post it on Facebook. Or send out an email to everyone you know.
  2. Be open to possibilities. You never know when a golden opportunity will come knocking at your door. Make sure you’re available to open it!
  3. Get the training you need. Always wanted to build your own website, become an opera singer, start a non-profit organization? Sign up for classes, find a tutor, get another degree if need be. You have to have the skills for what you want to do.
  4. Read, read, read. Go to a bookstore or library or download an ebook and find material that is related to the area you want to pursue. The more you know, the more real your dream will become.
  5. Find a mentor in your desired field. Apply for training programs so you get educated in the requirements.
  6. Ask everyone you know if they have connections in your dream field. Always wanted to be a radio show host? Ask if they know someone who works in broadcasting. You’ll be surprised at what six degrees of separation can provide.
  7. Do what you can by yourself. Want to open your own hair salon? Find the space and do the renovation and decorating yourself.
  8. Be ready for the unexpected to happen. You never know who is going to walk through the door, or call or text or email, or what will happen because of weather, or the economy, a sudden illness, or a parent or child who absolutely needs your attention.
  9. Whatever you do, don’t quit your day job until your dream job can pay the bills. It’s great that you want to express yourself creatively, but have you ever heard the term “starving artist”?
  10. Find a different job that has more flexible hours or a better schedule so you can take the classes or hone the skills for your dream work.
  11. Be different. Write a startling or humorous resume. Use bright colored sheets on your massage table. Combine allopathic and holistic approaches in your health care practice.
  12. Learn how to ask for help. You may be good at asking for directions, but how are you about admitting you can’t do it all yourself? Learn that it’s not a sign of weakness to need help. Be confident in your project or goal, and get help when you need it.
  13. Don’t let rejection make you abandon your dream. J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter book got 12 rejections before it found a publisher. Steven King got 30 rejection letters for his first novel. And Alex Hayley, the author of Roots, received 208 rejection letters. Keep on trying!
  14. Be the one in charge. You always wanted to help the underprivileged kids in your community and have made many suggestions to various agencies about what they should do. Bite the bullet and say you’ll manage/head the program yourself.
  15. Have a good support network. You’ll meet people in the area you want to pursue. Get their contact info and contact them from time to time to compare notes, get advice, or brainstorm new solutions.
  16. Ask for feedback. You’ve designed everything you need for your new venture. Take into account how others react to it. Don’t be too proud to admit that they might be right about some things that need fixing. On the other hand, don’t be so weak-willed that you cave on things you really believe in.
  17. Don’t be shy. If you’re going to try out for “American Idol,” you better be ready to toot your own horn. If you’re opening your own business, name it after yourself and claim it!
  18. Learn how to communicate better. Take a workshop in dialoguing. Learn how to be a really good listener. Find someone to teach you how to negotiate with your boss or your clients.
  19. Stay as emotionally stable as possible. If you get easily overwhelmed, observe the stress you’re dealing with. Maybe find a therapist or coach to help you understand your triggers and how to release stress without negatively impacting your goal.
  20. Reward yourself. Maybe your dream is to fit into a size 8 after decades of being a plus size. Every ten pounds you drop is a cause for celebration—a massage at a spa, a new haircut, a babysitter for the kids or a night on the town. Whatever your goal, reward the incremental steps along the way.
  21. Express yourself creatively. It doesn’t have to be through one of the arts. Maybe you’re most creative in the kitchen, or in business, or in sports. But find some way to express your individuality and let it shine.
  22. Don’t be afraid of failure. Everyone fails at some point in time, and it is the richest experience you can have. As the old saying goes: pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
  23. Know when it’s time to quit. You will go through many difficulties on the road to your own personal success. But when all the joy has gone out of the adventure, when you’re buried in negativity, stop for a moment to ask yourself: is it time to stop heading down this road and find another?
  24. Take a personal problem and turn it into a great solution. One woman who was tired of always having to paint over her kid’s scuff marks in the hallway designed a little brush you could fill with the paint color and it’s now a huge booming business.
  25. Don’t worry. Be happy. Whether or not your dreams come true, if you can maintain a clear and harmonious inner emotional balance, you will have a rich life.