All posts by : Deborah King

Have you been knocked off your feet by the flu this season? It’s been a particularly nasty flu season and it’s not over yet. Flu season usually lasts through the end of March, but sometimes it can go on even through May.

There are steps you can take to protect yourself from getting the flu or to help you get over it.

How do you know if what you have is the flu? According to the Mayo Clinic, the following are all symptoms of the flu, although you may not have all of them:

• Fever of 100.4 F or higher
• Stuffy or runny nose
• Dry cough
• Sore throat
• Severe widespread muscle aches
• Extreme fatigue or exhaustion
• Headache

Avoiding a bad case of the flu depends far more on having a strong immune system than it is about vaccination (which is highly controversial). If you have a well-functioning immune system and still get sick, you’ll move through the illness with fewer complications and return to health much sooner than others will. Remember, the flu is a virus, not a bacterial infection, so antibiotics don’t help.

So how do you keep your immune system in top-notch shape? First you’ll want to have a therapeutic level of Vitamin D, which is one of the best ways for avoiding all sorts of infections. It’s the most important (and least expensive) action you can take. Monitor your vitamin D levels with a simple blood test to see if they are within the 50-70 ng/ml range. If you don’t get enough sun, take an oral supplement, but make sure it’s vitamin D3. If you take a high dose (around 8,000 IUs/day) to get your levels up, also take 800-1,000 micrograms of vitamin K2, which helps prevent any vitamin D toxicity and works synergistically with D. If you feel like you are coming down with something, consider taking 50,000 units of Vitamin D3, once a day for 3 days.

Next, make sure you are getting plenty of rest. Most of the people I know who have gotten the flu this year were pretty much fatigued or stressed out already. If your body is tired, or if you’re in an emotional tailspin, it’s hard to fight off infection. So make sure you are doing something to relieve stress (meditate!) as well as getting enough sleep each night.

Many people don’t realize that the way your gut is functioning has an enormous impact on your immune response. In fact, 80 percent of your immune system lies in your gastrointestinal tract! Avoid sugar, especially high fructose corn syrup, and processed foods (a good idea at all times) because sugar can wipe out the beneficial bacteria as well as feeding yeast and viruses. You can take a probiotic supplement to help reestablish good gut bacteria. Eating fermented foods also helps, as does taking a high-quality source of omega-3 fats (found in fish or krill oil).

Regular exercise helps keep your immune system humming along by increasing blood flow throughout your body. If you get sick, however, delete your workouts entirely until you are better. And make sure you are drinking plenty of water!

Of course, you need to take the usual precautions, especially if your workplace seems to be crawling with sickies: wash your hands with a simple, chemical-free soap (no need for antibacterial soaps); cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze; if possible, avoid close contact with those who are sick; and please stay home yourself until you are better!

Then there’s garlic. It not only wards off vampires, but also protects against infectious diseases like the flu by boosting your immune system. Scientific studies have shown garlic to be more effective than the flu drug Tamiflu! (although it’s not for those who have a lot of Pitta, the Ayurveda “fire” element) Another great item in your “medicine cabinet” is zinc. If you take zinc within a day of getting your first symptoms, it can cut down the time you’re sick by at least a full day. Between 50-65 mg/day of zinc (preferably in syrup, not lozenge form) also reduces the severity of symptoms. Note that zinc is not recommended if you have asthma or chronic illness.

If you do get sick, be sure to stay warm and dry and out of the wind and cold; it’s especially important to keep your neck covered if you do go out.

Of course, there’s always chicken soup. Seriously. It really does help with cold and flu symptoms. There’s a natural amino acid in chicken called cysteine that thins the mucus in your lungs so you can get rid of it more easily. Forget the canned version. Make some at home with plenty of pepper (which also helps thin mucus). Here’s a simple recipe: put chicken bones (from organically-raised chicken) in a big pot and cover with water; bring to a boil and then lower heat. Simmer for at least an hour. Throw in any vegetables you like, but the broth alone is the important ingredient!

Finally, while you’re lying on the couch feeling miserable, watch some old episodes of Seinfeld, or Friends, or The Big Bang Theory—anything that makes you laugh. Laughter is always healing.

This week we celebrate two of the greatest leaders of our country—Presidents Washington and Lincoln. Back in their day, no one could even imagine the possibility of a woman as head of state. Today, many countries have women leaders. What does it mean to be an empowered woman leader?

Nora Ephron, who wrote the screenplays for Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, Julie and Julia, and Silkwood (among others), gave us many enjoyable movie-going experiences. She also took the helm and directed and produced many of the movies she wrote. But many people don’t know that she blasted her alma mater, Wellesley College, for turning out a generation of “docile” women. As she said, “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”

Women are often too good at playing the role of victim, which automatically precludes them from becoming the leaders we look up to. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to become Mrs. President, or Ms. President for that matter (although if you’re reading this Hillary, please run in 2016!). What it does mean is that you’re not afraid to stand up and be counted, that you’re not afraid of speaking your truth, and that you’re not afraid of leading others—whether that’s on a personal scale, such as in a private practice as a coach or a healer, or in the public sector as an elected official, as head of a company (maybe even your own company), as a leader in the non-profit world, or as a world-wide teacher.

It could mean simply having a brave moment. When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat in the colored section of a Montgomery, Alabama bus to a white passenger and was arrested for civil disobedience in 1955, she certainly didn’t have a clue that she would become known as “the first lady of civil rights” and “the mother of the freedom movement.” She had recently attended a training course for civil rights activists and was just plain “tired of giving in.”

At what point will you be tired of giving in, of giving up your dreams and ambitions? You’ve always wanted to write a blog to help young girls with their self-esteem; what’s stopping you? You feel nudged and pushed to teach others what you know about how to get and stay healthy; why aren’t you doing it? When will you step into the role you know you were meant to play on the world’s stage?

Many people believe a number of myths about leadership that stop them before they even get started. Here are a few of them:

1. Leadership is not about possessing power over others. You don’t have to use manipulation, coertion, or domination to influence others. You can use your intuition, good communication, and your ability to delegate to help everyone contribute their best to whatever your effort is. As Lao Tzu put it: “A leader is best when people barely know he exists; when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
2. You don’t have to be a “born leader.” You can learn the skills and techniques that will allow you to be an effective leader. So many women have internalized society’s message that it’s wrong to be outspoken or even to be more powerful than men. That training can be overcome. Sheryl Sandberg, who is the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, says, “We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in.” She has not been afraid to cry at the office, and she leaves work every day by 5:30 to get home to her family. Yet even she needed to be pushed by the men in her life to demand more compensation than she was first offered for her top corporate position.
3. There is a romanticized view of leadership that assumes that leaders make all the difference in whether or not a group reaches its goals. Don’t worry, even as a leader you are not in complete control of what happens. Don’t overestimate your importance or the expectations of others over what you should accomplish. Just do what you feel pulled to do and be open to the suggestions and help of others.

None of us is an island. I could not do what I do out in the world if not for my team of helpers and the support of my husband. I know it’s scary stepping out in front of the crowd, but you’re never alone out there, even if you’re the only one holding the mic. I will be talking a lot more about leadership because the world needs you. There are people out there waiting for your wisdom, compassion, and love to touch their lives. What are you waiting for?

If you’re intrigued about becoming a leader, check out this program: /events-workshops//the_5-day_lifeforce_leadership_program_that_will_change_your_life

As the romance industry kicks into high gear for Valentine’s Day, are you wishing there was someone who would send you flowers and chocolates and express his or her undying love of wonderful you?

Maybe you’re sitting on your couch at home in front of the TV watching all those gorgeous stars strut around in designer gowns and jewels on the award show circuit, and you’re comparing your body, courtesy of Ben and Jerry, and your life to theirs. You see the winners thank that magnificent love of their lives, the one without whom they never could have won this award, and you sigh over their perceived happiness—which you, of course, will never have. Because you think you’re somehow unlovable.

We are taught by society that our worth as individuals is related to youth, beauty, money, power, romantic relationships, and status. If your self-worth is based on these external factors, you’ll always be stuck with the feeling of “I’m not enough.” The grass will always be greener in someone else’s yard, while your green will be the color of jealousy.

Did you grow up with siblings who were better at everything than you were? Or with parents who belittled your actions or ideas or dreams? Were you teased or bullied at school? Did you think you were somehow unlovable and alone? And did it carry over to your adult life with your business or romantic partners?

Maybe it’s time to get emotionally honest with yourself. To stop numbing your feelings by eating or drinking or shopping too much in order to avoid the discomfort, sadness, and pain. And it’s time to understand what “loving yourself” really means.

Here’s what it doesn’t mean. You are not loving yourself if you are centered purely on yourself and you go after what you want without caring who gets hurt along the way. Self-worth is not something you can buy with a new car or new wardrobe. Loving yourself doesn’t mean being on a constant high and never experiencing sadness or despair or anger or any of the so-called negative emotions.

What it does mean is that you stop berating yourself for who you are not. You stop judging yourself so harshly, and stop the constant criticizing of what you look like and who you are and the life you lead.

It can also mean that you finally divorce or break up with someone who is abusive to you, that you confront someone who has hurt you, that you look for a job that validates your talents, or that you start a recovery program for whatever substance you abuse. It means you understand that feeling your own pain is a major step in healing and that you can cry over the wounds you received in childhood. It may even mean going to therapy or working with an energy healer because you are so unhappy with yourself.

Sometimes it’s easier to believe all the negative things we think about ourselves than it is to appreciate ourselves and believe we are worthy of love. The good news is that when you change the way you think about yourself, the rest will simply fall into place.

One of the best ways to change your thinking about yourself is to learn to trust your instincts and gut reactions. If you’re going to love yourself, it really helps to believe in your Self—in that intuitive inner voice that you’ve probably been ignoring all these years. Your Higher Self is a conduit of pure unconditional love. Tap into that through meditation or prayer or any other method that works for you, and you will know that you are loved no matter what you think is wrong with you. Once you have bathed in the warm glow of unconditional love, which is available to all of us all the time, you will be able to forgive yourself for not being perfect, and you’ll be able to be good to yourself (and to others).

What does all this have to do with a dozen red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates? Everything. If you’re busy feeling unlovable and constantly putting yourself down, how attractive is that to someone else? If you’re feeling good about yourself, even though you’re not perfect (and who is?), it won’t matter how you wind up spending Valentine’s Day. It won’t matter if those roses come from a lover or if you ordered them yourself as a special treat for a special person—you.

On February 2^nd, in many towns across America, a  groundhog will emerge from his burrow. If it is cloudy, that will seem to imply that spring has come early; if it is sunny, so goes the legend, the groundhog will see its shadow and go back into the burrow for another six weeks of winter.

What is it about seeing our shadow that makes us want to burrow away, to pull up the blankets and slip back into sleep?

In energy medicine, as well as in Jungian psychology, the shadow is everything of which we are not fully conscious or which we don’t recognize as being part of ourselves. We simply don’t want to know about the least desirable aspects of ourselves.

What’s the problem with keeping the nastier side of ourselves out of sight? Well, for one thing, what happens is that you can wind up projecting your own deficiencies onto others. You may believe your co-worker is stealing from the company, while in fact your jealous shadow side is always looking for ways to steal the praise that co-worker receives for doing her work well. In other words, your personal faults turn into a perceived moral deficiency in someone else.

Conspiracy theorists, and TV shows like The X-Files, are always talking about the “shadow government”—the private individuals who are really controlling what happens in the world rather than the elected officials. They are the ones carrying out black budget projects and covert operations. You can think of your own shadow that way. The face you show the world, the person you have elected to be seen as, is friendly and cheerful and good, while your shadow is governing the fact that you are always sandbagging your relationships one way or another.

Part of the inner work of healing ourselves has to do with making peace with those parts of ourselves that we don’t want anyone else to see—the parts Christianity calls the seven deadly sins, Buddhists call the negative emanations of mind, and Moslems call the nafs, our lower selves. It takes energy to deny and block our shadow side—energy that could be used in far more constructive ways in our quest for becoming fully integrated, healthy and happy individuals.

The first part of making peace with the shadow is to become aware of it. You recognize that everything has its shadow side. Benevolent Mother Nature, the goddess Gaia, whips out her deadly shadow side in hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, fires, floods, and volcanic eruptions. Societies and cultures also have their shadow side. The technological boom that has given us our favorite devices—computers, smart phones, tablets, televisions—has lessened our direct face-to-face relationships. Have you ever seen a group of teens sitting together all looking at their phones instead of talking to each other? As Albert Einstein put it: “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction.” That day may have come.

Many of the people whose public image we admire have dark secrets or terrible home lives. Imagine how many women have swooned over handsome men only to be shocked when they came out of the closet of homosexuality. Think of the spiritual teachers whose teachings helped many connect to the richness of their inner lives but whose private lives included sex with students or favoring those who contributed big sums of money. Or the adulation we give sports heroes who turn out to be doping.

Even deeply spiritual people often go through a “dark night of the soul” when they can be overcome with terrifying feelings of depression and doubt. It’s all part of the process of being a fully integrated human being in our less-than-perfect world.

But the shadow side isn’t all darkness. Our shadow is also, as Jung put it, the “seat of creativity.” It may show up in dreams and visions that reveal the depth and complexity of your inner life—the rich mixture of dark and light that artists throughout the ages have called upon to create their masterpieces. It’s the deep darkness in which the seeds of your perfection take root and grow, like the lotus with its roots planted in the mud and its beautiful flower shining in the light of day.

When you learn to make friends with your shadow, make sure to look not only at its darker components—the ones you wish you didn’t have—but also at your untapped talents and powers. Reclaim them all, and accept who you are—the whole package: good and bad, dark and light, negative and positive, yin and yang. There is no way to reach Oneness without accepting all of yourself.

So when the groundhog comes out of his burrow this year, may he not be frightened by his shadow and retreat for six more weeks, but welcome Spring, shadow and all!

On the first day of the first week of Earth, Genesis begins with “And God said . . .” Later in Genesis, Eve was fashioned out of man’s rib, “And the man said . . .”—the first recorded words of a human being. God had spoken, and mankind, made in the image of God, could likewise speak, whereas none of the other beings in creation could use words in that way. Clearly “speech” was a special gift from the Creator.

That doesn’t mean we have always used this gift to the best of our ability.

I always had a fear of public speaking. In fact, I was downright terrified. In college, I wouldn’t show up for finals where I had to speak in front of others. In my last year of law school, when I had to be in moot court, you could say I didn’t shine. I molded my law career as a transactional attorney, putting deals together in the back room.

Then I went through a vast change in my life, left the pursuit of law, and dug deeply into consciousness and healing studies. One day I got a very strong message from Spirit that I was to bring my healing work to the world. Seriously, me? I was willing but the flesh was weak. So I decided that the only way to get over my fear was by the process of immersion. In one day, I booked myself to give a seminar once a week for 12 consecutive weeks, in 12 different venues.

At the first workshop I used a trick I had learned as a mountain climber. There, I had learned to traverse dangerous vertical “friction slabs” where there is no way to protect yourself, no cracks or nubbins for feet and hands, just pure balancing. The way I conquered my fear was to convince myself I was walking across a kitchen floor. So to overcome my fear of public speaking, I convinced myself, in my strong-willed way, that there was actually no audience.

I walked into the room, pointed at someone, and without so much as a “hello” to the group, said, “you’re first!” I would work with that audience volunteer as if there was no one in the room watching, and when finished with him, I would call up another. By the time I got to the 12^th session, people were lined up to get in, and I could at least glance at the audience. Today I talk at events and workshops with thousands of participants, without notes and even without knowing what my topic will be. I have learned to get out of my own way and let Spirit work through me.

Why do I tell you about this? Because you, too, may have avoided exposing yourself to a wider audience for your work. Or you may have trouble communicating even on a one-to-one basis. Do you mumble or stumble over your words when in a confrontational situation? Can you express your feelings to someone else? Do people misunderstand your intentions because you haven’t spoken clearly?

Here are five tips for developing your gift of speech so you can communicate better—at work and at home.

1. Have the courage to say what you think. You have something valuable to contribute to the conversation; don’t be afraid that your input isn’t worthwhile. Be open and honest.
2. Remember that communication involves not only spoken words, but also body language and nonverbal cues. Your whole body can talk, especially your hands and face. Use larger gestures if addressing a large group. If your arms are crossed and shoulders are hunched, you are saying that you’re unwilling to listen or to communicate.
3. Enunciate. Are people always asking you to repeat yourself? Try to speak clearly. Consciously slow down your speech a bit; if you talk too fast, others will think you’re nervous and find you difficult to understand.
4. Pretend you’re talking on the radio or on TV. Would an audience that can’t see you get the drift of what you’re saying? Raise and lower your pitch, animate your voice, and use an appropriate volume.
5. Learn to listen. When you really understand what someone else is saying, your response will be so much more effective.

Your ability to express yourself will grow as you practice good communication skills. Use the gift of speech wisely, and your relationships, both personal and business, will prosper.