June 2013 - Deborah King

7 Tips for Losing Weight Without Diet or Exercise!

No one likes to look in the mirror and see those extra pounds that two sets of Spanx can’t hide. And no one likes to feel guilty about eating something yummy or not running a half-marathon. Fortunately, there are ways to lose weight—believe it or not— that don’t include starvation diets and sweating.

Here are 7 tried-and-true tips that will help you fit into your favorite jeans again:

1. 1. Get enough sleep. Weight loss is impossible if you are sleep deprived. Once you start getting the amount of sleep your body needs, you’ll lose a pound or two a month without doing any else. Really. Sleep deprivation affects the hormone ghrelin, which stimulates appetite, and leptin, the hormone that sends the message to your brain that you are full. When you don’t get enough zzz’s, you are much more likely to eat a whole pizza rather than just a slice or two. So turn off the TV and the computer and your smart phone an hour before bed, make sure your bedroom is totally dark and cool and no stimulants like caffeine.
  2. Get enough sun. It’s a simple formula: light deprivation causes depression; depression can lead to weight gain. We actually need a minimum of 20 minutes of sun on our bodies in the early morning or late afternoon, without sunscreen, at least five days a week all year to get enough Vitamin D to feel happy. If you live in a place where you get the winter blues, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), your hypothalamus gland gets imbalanced and sad, irritable and tired. It also makes you crave more carbs. If this is you, check out full spectrum lamps and light therapy boxes that mimic natural sunlight.
  3. Double your meals. Now you really think I’ve flipped, but listen. Take the food you currently eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and divide it in half—that means splitting your normal portion for each meal into two, not doubling the amount you eat. In other words, eat half that turkey sandwich at lunch, and the other half mid-afternoon. Make sure there is some good quality protein in each of the meals/snacks you eat, even if it’s just a handful of almonds. When you let your body get too hungry, you run the risk of overeating. Keep your blood sugar stabilized and you’ll stop heading to Starbucks for a pick-me-up. And speaking of Starbucks, when you do end up there, stick to the Hibiscus, not the double Frappuccino!
  4. Don’t isolate yourself. If there is a hole in your life where relationships should be, then you are probably filling it with food. These days it’s easy to be in regular contact with people, even if you don’t leave the house. Call them, email or chat online, meet new “friends” on Facebook, get in on the conversations on your favorite websites. Think about joining one of the websites like match.com or harmony.com even if you’re just looking for a walking partner.
  5. Forgive yourself for having gained weight. We all know the power of forgiveness. But forgiving yourself can be much harder than forgiving someone else. When you are ashamed about having put on the pounds, forgiving yourself is an important part of releasing your past and moving forward. Forgive yourself for the specific things you feel bad about, not about the person you are. You’re a good person no matter how much you weigh.
  6. Deal with your repressed emotions. Your story may not include childhood sexual and emotional abuse (like mine did), but we all carry emotional wounds of one sort or another. When you have an emotion but don’t acknowledge it or process it, you may wind up gaining weight as an act of protection against getting hurt again. Think about the fact that the belly is the center of the emotional body. You may be numbing yourself with food to keep from feeling certain “unacceptable” emotions—like shame, jealousy, anger, bitterness, etc. Stop running away and face what you feel. It might help to talk to a therapist or see an energy healer soon.
  7. Stop stressing about your weight. You’ve already got enough stress in your life, what with kids and aging parents and your job or lack of one and your relationships and paying your bills, and then there’s your doctor harping on you to lose weight before you come down with diabetes or heart disease or something worse. Of course, you’re more likely to crave a big bowl of chocolate chip ice cream if you’re stressed. If you worry about your weight, you’re simply adding to the stress, as well as creating more emotional pain, like low self-esteem. Constant stress can make you want to eat fatty, salty, or sugary foods in order to calm down. So what can you do to relieve your stress besides running five miles a day? Try 20 minutes of meditation. You’ll be amazed at how much your stress level will drop. Take it from a spiritual teacher and energy healer, meditation is the fastest way to address stress.

Yin and Yang: Darkness into Light

“The dance between darkness and light will always remain – the stars and the moon will always need the darkness to be seen, the darkness will just not be worth having without the moon and the stars.” ― C. JoyBell C.

I’ve always been intrigued by the Chinese Symbol for Yin and Yang, the black and white circle divided into two teardrop shaped halves, each containing a smaller circle of the opposite color. This simple symbol is so profound and expresses so much – balance, flow, transformation, and the opposing forces of nature that make up almost everything!

Yin and yang elements are expressed in pairs: the moon and the sun, female and male, darkness and light, hot and cold, good and evil. The elements stay in balance and are not static or separate, instead they are complimentary and relative to one another because they come from a common source. Just like the yin and yang symbol itself, the nature of yin and yang lies in the interchange and interplay of the two components – like night flows into day, the opposite forces in yin and yang flow into each other.

It is said that the nature of yin and yang was first recognized by Fu Shi some eight thousand years ago. He developed the principles of yin and yang, which provide an explanation of the laws of nature that govern the universe. According to his principles, the actions of yin and yang apply to every facet of life and are expressions of everything that exists in our universe.

Lao Tzu, the Taoist sage, tells us that one polarity cannot exist without the other. If there is no “light”, there is no “dark”, no “up” without a “down”. He writes, “Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness. All can know good as good only because there is evil.” He asks: “Is there a difference between yes and no?” “Is there a difference between good and evil?”

Meditate on Lao Tzu’s words for a few minutes and you will see how understanding and embracing the concept of yin and yang allows you to suspend judgment on any one component as you realize that the forces in your life are in a constant state of change, and that they balance and flow exactly as they are meant to.

We can deal much more effectively with past traumas and current problems by visualizing them as naturally flowing (like night flows into day) and becoming their opposites. What if we accept the negative events in our life as a pathway to growth and enlightenment? How much more gracefully can we accept challenges if we know that experiencing them will help us to recognize and appreciate the better times that will come if we just allow them to?

Try these techniques to shift the negative elements that you see over to the positive:

Acceptance – accept your past mistakes, traumas and misfortunes and realize that they have made you the person who you are today, and have given you the strength and experience that you need to create a better life for yourself.

Wisdom – take advantage of the opportunity to learn from negative experiences so that you don’t repeat them. Be aware of your decisions and take responsibility for your actions – it will take you a long way toward higher consciousness!

Gratitude – look for the light and appreciate it, and in bad times, know that experiencing the darkness will make you value the light even more.

Attraction – be positive and open to the laws of the universe, picture the dynamic, flowing symbol of yin and yang, and have faith that the dark times will cycle into the light!

There are so many things that we deal with every day in our own lives and in the world around us that are dark and difficult. There are times when it’s hard to imagine that the world will change and life will get easier. Using the techniques above will help manifest the change that you want to see in your life and the world.

As a spiritual teacher, energy healer and life coach, I frequently recommend limiting exposure to the news, violent television shows and movies, and making sure to spend time meditating, talking to good friends, and exercising. These are just a few of many ways to keep the dark and the light in balance in you life!

The Divine Masculine

We’ve all heard a lot about the Divine Feminine as women have become more aware of how the connection to the “goddess within” empowers them, but what has happened to men’s awareness? Have they been so ensconced in their patriarchal positions that they haven’t needed to connect to divine masculine archetypes? Men, it seems to many women, have been the problem in their lives, not their divine counterparts.

Before the Western world congealed around the big three patriarchal religions—Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—there were multiple gods and goddesses. Both had their roles, and both were divine reflections for men and women. Early Jewish tradition included the worship of the goddess Ashera along with the male Yahweh. Early Christianity gave far more importance to Mary Magdalene as the disciple Jesus loved best, before her subsequent demotion as a prostitute would indicate. When God became a distant, jealous, and vengeful male deity, women were relegated to supporting or demeaning roles.

In the last decades, the goddess traditions have come into their own for many women. And as these women grow stronger in their self-esteem and honor the divinity within themselves, they look around and wonder where the men are who will accompany them on their journey toward wholeness. What would those men be like? Even more than that, what does the divine masculine look like—in both men and women? Let’s take a brief look at the archetypal energies of the divine masculine, which include the King, Priest, Sage, Warrior, and Lover.

The King (in his fullness) has unyielding strength of character and inspires and unites his realm, which he serves alongside his Queen, who is an equal partner. He brings order and safety, combining strength with right action and wisdom. He is a stabilizing force and can calmly support and nurture the well-being of those in his care. He has a transpersonal selflessness, like a kind-hearted father. He knows that everything changes, everything is as it should be, and there is nothing to fear. This benevolent leadership is seen in men like Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and some CEOs of companies that take into account the well-being of their employees as well as the well-being of the planet.

The Priest archetype is that of spiritual awareness directed inward—the insight needed to aid in the enlightenment of the self. He facilitates between the physical and spiritual worlds, between the personality and the Spirit. He knows how to transmute energies and to reach a higher perspective. He is not pushed or pulled by inner or outer storms.

The Sage is closely aligned with the Priest, but adds the aspect of dharma, right action. He is detached from the flow of ordinary life, choosing to be wise about whatever is needed for harmony. He is connected with spirit while staying grounded in his connection with the earth, the source of his wisdom. While the Priest is focused inwardly, the Sage’s service is outward, manifesting the wisdom he channels.

The Warrior archetype is the most honored by the mainstream patriarchal society, but not in his fullness. The true warrior is a protector, not an invader. A true warrior has the courage to serve the highest good, even when it challenges him personally. In other words, he is loyal to the greater good beyond any chance of personal gain. He fights “the good fight”—the inner battle with his own ego. He makes you feel safe, not oppressed by his protection.

The Lover is a primal archetype, often misunderstood. In his fullness, the Lover is a man of heart and wisdom, combining Eros and Spirit—the urge to bond and unite. He is passionately engaged with life and interested in all forms of sensuality without shame. You can touch his mind, body, and soul. He appreciates beauty in all its forms. He may be a good husband and father, or head a non-profit working to heal the world.

Wholeness, of course, doesn’t separate the divine masculine and the divine feminine into the male and female genders. Wholeness requires that both our inner feminine and our inner masculine are balanced. It’s not just men who need to honor the divine feminine within themselves as well as in their women, but women also need to honor the divine masculine in themselves as well as in their fathers, husbands, sons, and lovers. Let us evolve in consciousness so we transcend the duality of male and female and honor both Isis and Osiris, Radha and Krishna, Mary and Jesus, yin and yang as they live within us in harmony and balance and true divine love.

Open Your Third Eye!

The sixth chakra, also known as the “Third Eye” chakra, is where we process and interpret visual information. It controls what we visually see, imagine, and what we psychically and intuitively perceive.

A discussion on the third chakra provides me with the perfect opportunity for me to share an old Taoist tale about intuition, transcendence, and horses. Some of my favorite things!

Duke Mu of Chin said to Po Lo: You are now advanced in years – is there any member of your family who I could employ to look for horses in your stead? Po Lo replied “ a good horse can be picked by it’s general build and appearance. But the superlative horse—one that raises no dust and leaves no tracks—is something rare and fleeting , elusive as thin air. My sons can tell a good horse when they see one, but they cannot pick a superlative horse. I have a friend, Chiu-fang Kao, who when it comes to horses, has vision equal to mine. Please go and see him.

Duke Mu located the man, and sent him off to look for a superlative steed. Three months later he returned with the news that he had found one. “What kind of horse is it?” asked the Duke? “Oh, it’s a dun colored mare”, was the reply. However, when the horse arrived, the animal was not at all as described, it was a coal black stallion!

Duke went to Po Lo, complaining “Your friend knows nothing about horses, why he couldn’t even distinguish the beast’s color or sex!” Po Lo smiled, “Ah, then he is worth a thousand of me put together! What Kao keeps in view is the spiritual mechanism. In concentrating on the ethereal essentials, he loses track of the details. Intent on the inward qualities, he loses sight of the external. He sees what he wants to see, and not what he does not want to see. He looks at the things he ought to look at, and neglects those that need not be looked at. So clever a judge of horses is Kao, that he has it in him to judge something better than horses.”

When the horse arrived, it turned out indeed to be a superlative animal.

I love this story! I heard it years ago, but it still pops into my head often, always reminding me to look beyond the surface and to open my mind and trust my intuition, or my gut impressions.

I encourage you to take some time to think about the story and how it relates to the 6^th Chakra and to your own spiritual practice. Sit quietly and consider these questions:

Have you had the experience where someone became significantly more attractive (or less attractive) the more you’ve gotten to know them? What caused your perceptions to change?
Are you open to what lies beyond the physical when meeting someone new? If not, what kinds of things distract you?
Looking back on the people who you have known in your life, which of them have the kind of wisdom and insight that would allow you to trust them to pick out a superlative horse, friend, or partner for you?

As we evolve and move into a higher consciousness, we naturally begin to focus less on the physical and more the light or the spirit within. By connecting to that light, we can communicate at a much deeper level, and have deeper, more meaningful relationships.

When our sixth chakra is in balance, we approach life with an open mind and seek to know the truth. We listen for guidance within ourselves and rely on our perceptions, experiences and the sixth chakra’s power of discernment. Opening this chakra opens the line of communication to your higher self and so it makes your wise inner guidance much more readily available. Set the intention and make a commitment to listen within for direction and then honor the guidance you receive with your actions.

Search..

Deborah King