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Do you have an ‘Energy Vampire’ in your life?

Attached by an energy vampire

You are born pure light…

In childhood, your light is vulnerable to the energy of those around you. If you experienced trauma as a child or were raised in a dysfunctional family or with an unhealthy parent, this changes your energy, and can even “darken” your light.

This sensitivity likely developed as a way to stay safe and get your needs met — scanning the energy of the room or the energy of your caregivers, and calibrating your energy and presence to match what was appropriate.

Over time, this way of being in the world can diminish your essence — diluting what makes you “you,” and negatively influencing your emotions, your health, and your ability to authentically live the life you were meant to live.

And now, likely a caregiver yourself, you’ve been conditioned to bond with others by taking on their energy, so loved ones can perpetuate this pattern even if they’re not an “energy vampire.”

Today, you can begin to clear out other people’s energy from your ENTIRE system, and call your energy back to yourself. The first step is to understand the types of “energy vampires” and how to establish boundaries to protect yourself.

And actually, the step before the first step is always meditation. If you feel like you are “under attack” from other people’s energy, spending time in prayer and meditation is the fastest way to reconnect to yourself and strengthen your grounding — the first line of defense against other people’s invasive energy. I recommend meditating twice a day, using a mantra, that I provide.

Energy follows thought. As you bring your attention back to yourself (with loving kindness!), your energy will follow.

Imagine that you are a big magnet, effortlessly drawing your energy back to yourself and then running that energy down through your grounding, expanding your base and strengthening your energy field around you.

Here are a few insights on energy vampires…

In general, energy vampires drain your energy. They are often creating or contributing to “drama” and often take a negative, “glass-half-empty” approach to life. They can be very critical and judgmental — of you and others.

They also tend to be filled with worry and anxiety, and look to you to fix them or solve their problems. And, of course, you’re quite good at calming them down and finding solutions!

They need you and suck your time, attention, and focus away from your priorities. Even when you’re not with them, you are thinking about them or their needs.

These exchanges can leave you feeling tired, melancholy, even depressed — even if you think you are being of service and helping at the time.

When your energy is depleted by others, your sleep can be disrupted, you feel sluggish, and lack mental focus. You become vulnerable to illness, poor eating habits, and even addictive behaviors.

Recognize anyone on this list?:

  • “Betrayed” energy vampireThis energy type, along with many of the energy vampire types, can feel like an “old” relationship or like there is more history to the relationship than this lifetime. Karmic ties likely keep you tethered to this person, and the dynamic is one of “winning the fight.” Their energy field can be highly charged and they can feel aggressive or like an invasive weed in your garden.It’s essential to reinforce your energy field and grounding when interacting with this type. Imagining a waterfall between the two of you will help protect you and neutralize their energy coming at you. Take slow deep breaths, lower your voice and slow your cadence.Dealing with this type involves an Aikido-style approach where you step out of the way of their incoming energy bombs.
  • Fear-based energy vampireThis type is full of fear and insecurity. They are unable to fully inhabit their bodies and connect to their own grounding. They are disconnected from their emotions and are difficult to have linear conversations with, they are “all over the place.” Being kind and helpful, you want to reassure them, troubleshoot their problems, or calm their anger. You become ensnared in their energy field.To care for yourself in this dynamic, will require you to have very firm and clear boundaries. You will need to maintain conscious awareness that their needs and feelings are never ending and you cannot fix or help them. If you cannot maintain your own energy and grounding separate from them, you may need to avoid this type.
  • Insecure energy vampireThis type holds the worldview of scarcity. There is not enough for them and they’re in fear that their needs won’t be met and they’re driven by a fear of abandonment. It is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy, because they are afraid you will abandon them, yet they are so needy, you have to remove yourself to replenish your energy.The intensity of their “lack” is projected onto you with the expectation you’ll fill their bottomless cup. They are often compulsive, jumping at any chance to fix their problem (which is generally other people) or chase after the “next best thing” that is “going to change everything” and solve all their problems. Between managing their expectations and their irrational schemes, you become lost and massively drained.Similar to the fear-based type, to care for yourself in this dynamic, will require you to have very firm and clear boundaries. You will also need to increase your self-care routine to ensure that you are mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit to be around them without losing yourself. Again, if you cannot maintain your own energy and grounding separate from them, you may need to avoid this type.
  • Passive-aggressive energy vampireThis type brings lifetimes of victimization into this lifetime. Their worldview is one of victimhood and everything happens “to” them. They are unable to take care of themselves and they rely on others to do for them. They don’t communicate their needs or wants and then project that others are not caring for them or helping them. They blame everyone but themselves, however most of this is unspoken so it is through their energy and nonverbal communication. They are very manipulative and use a dynamic of switching between appreciation and validating how much they need you, with guilt and scorn. You are either helping or hurting, and everything is about them — from their perspective.Recognizing that this is not about you, that you have done nothing wrong, and that this is their storyline that they are living out, will help you stay sane and keep from merging with their energy trying to “prove” yourself and your intentions. Remembering that there is nothing you can say or do or explain, can shift this dynamic within them. Amplifying your own energy within yourself and deepening your grounding will turn up your vibration and keep you immersed in your own essence and anchored in the center of your energy field.

Understanding your role in these relationships will also help you to shift the dynamic from your end. Energy vampires will always “suck” so it’s up to you to put a stop to it and protect yourself.

If you’d like to learn more about how to protect yourself from other people’s energy, and turn your sensitivity into a healing tool, check out my signature LifeForce Energy Healing IV® training here.

Work one-on-one with Deborah
Deborah King