“Everybody has a part of her body that she doesn’t like,
but I’ve stopped complaining about mine because I don’t want to critique nature’s handiwork …
My job is simply to allow the light to shine out of the masterpiece.”
I was thrilled to run into my student, Sharon the other day, but just as I opened my mouth to tell her how great it was to see her she launched into a monologue of self-loathing! She fretted about how out of shape she was, how awful she looked, and how she couldn’t seem to get herself down to a “decent weight.” I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something wrong with her mirror! Sharon isn’t a teenager, nor is she a waif – but the woman standing in front of me was a perfectly healthy weight for her height, and looked just fine!
Sometimes body image doesn’t have much to do with reality. The fact is that Sharon, like many people (especially women), can’t accept her body because she doesn’t like herself. From what she’s shared with me over the years, I know her lack of self-acceptance has deep roots in her relationship with her hyper-critical father. From the time Sharon was six years old, her father, through his insensitive comments and lack of affection, made her feel that she was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, and certainly not thin enough. As a child, Sharon didn’t get that her father was projecting his feelings of frustration with his wife, and Sharon’s mother, (who was indeed overweight) onto Sharon and making her the scapegoat for his unhappiness. She just knew that she didn’t measure up – and that feeling never went away. For the rest of her life she has seen herself through his critical eyes.
A father’s influence in his daughter’s life is so important, and his approval, (or lack of it) shapes her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinion of men for the rest of her life. Despite the fact that Sharon’s father died years ago, she still carries inside her the little girl who wanted to be loved unconditionally by the father she adored. Even as an adult, she feels unlovable and blames herself, and her healthy, strong, heavy-boned, Kapha body, for her inability to sustain healthy relationships with men and for her lack of confidence at work. What she doesn’t realize is that her body isn’t her problem. Her problem is her lack of self-esteem.
Sharon is a great example of the disconnect that exists for many people when it comes to how they view their own bodes. According to recent research, your image of your own body is only indirectly connected to your body mass index (BMI), a common health measure of weight relative to height. A much more convincing factor is how you view yourself is how you believe others view and respond to you.
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see what is actually there, or a distorted version of yourself, someone no one else can see? In my healing courses I often come into contact with people, like Sharon, who are blocked from a healthy self image by issues in their past that continue to haunt them. Energy healing is one way to remove those painful emotions. Once they have been removed, it helps to work with a life coach to replace those negative emotions with positive healthy affirmations. Continue processing those feelings through a regular practice of journaling and meditation, and work on accepting and loving yourself, and your body!
Your body needs a cheerleader, not a critic! If you’re ready to embrace a positive body image, you won’t want to miss this week’s radio show. I’ll be interviewing a very special guest, who believes that self-worth is not measured by the size of your thighs or the width of your hips, but by the breadth of your dreams and the depth of your love! Tune in and get inspired!
Are issues from your past getting in between you and the life you want to lead? Interested in exploring other ways to expand your consciousness and live in the light? Check out my brand new book, Entangled in Darkness, FREE with it’s companion 4-part live online course, Seeking the Light. Join me on the path to a great body image!