You Can Be a Leader!

This week we celebrate two of the greatest leaders of our country—Presidents Washington and Lincoln. Back in their day, no one could even imagine the possibility of a woman as head of state. Today, many countries have women leaders. What does it mean to be an empowered woman leader?

Nora Ephron, who wrote the screenplays for Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, Julie and Julia, and Silkwood (among others), gave us many enjoyable movie-going experiences. She also took the helm and directed and produced many of the movies she wrote. But many people don’t know that she blasted her alma mater, Wellesley College, for turning out a generation of “docile” women. As she said, “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”

Women are often too good at playing the role of victim, which automatically precludes them from becoming the leaders we look up to. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to become Mrs. President, or Ms. President for that matter (although if you’re reading this Hillary, please run in 2016!). What it does mean is that you’re not afraid to stand up and be counted, that you’re not afraid of speaking your truth, and that you’re not afraid of leading others—whether that’s on a personal scale, such as in a private practice as a coach or a healer, or in the public sector as an elected official, as head of a company (maybe even your own company), as a leader in the non-profit world, or as a world-wide teacher.

It could mean simply having a brave moment. When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat in the colored section of a Montgomery, Alabama bus to a white passenger and was arrested for civil disobedience in 1955, she certainly didn’t have a clue that she would become known as “the first lady of civil rights” and “the mother of the freedom movement.” She had recently attended a training course for civil rights activists and was just plain “tired of giving in.”

At what point will you be tired of giving in, of giving up your dreams and ambitions? You’ve always wanted to write a blog to help young girls with their self-esteem; what’s stopping you? You feel nudged and pushed to teach others what you know about how to get and stay healthy; why aren’t you doing it? When will you step into the role you know you were meant to play on the world’s stage?

Many people believe a number of myths about leadership that stop them before they even get started. Here are a few of them:

1. Leadership is not about possessing power over others. You don’t have to use manipulation, coertion, or domination to influence others. You can use your intuition, good communication, and your ability to delegate to help everyone contribute their best to whatever your effort is. As Lao Tzu put it: “A leader is best when people barely know he exists; when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
2. You don’t have to be a “born leader.” You can learn the skills and techniques that will allow you to be an effective leader. So many women have internalized society’s message that it’s wrong to be outspoken or even to be more powerful than men. That training can be overcome. Sheryl Sandberg, who is the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, says, “We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in.” She has not been afraid to cry at the office, and she leaves work every day by 5:30 to get home to her family. Yet even she needed to be pushed by the men in her life to demand more compensation than she was first offered for her top corporate position.
3. There is a romanticized view of leadership that assumes that leaders make all the difference in whether or not a group reaches its goals. Don’t worry, even as a leader you are not in complete control of what happens. Don’t overestimate your importance or the expectations of others over what you should accomplish. Just do what you feel pulled to do and be open to the suggestions and help of others.

None of us is an island. I could not do what I do out in the world if not for my team of helpers and the support of my husband. I know it’s scary stepping out in front of the crowd, but you’re never alone out there, even if you’re the only one holding the mic. I will be talking a lot more about leadership because the world needs you. There are people out there waiting for your wisdom, compassion, and love to touch their lives. What are you waiting for?

If you’re intrigued about becoming a leader, check out this program: /events-workshops//the_5-day_lifeforce_leadership_program_that_will_change_your_life