Truth & Beauty

Truth & Beauty

August 2, 2007

Can We Dye Our Hair, Get Breast Implants, Wear Acrylic Nails, and Still Live a Truthful Existence?

And why not? The outer appearance of beauty – perfect hair, perfect breasts, perfect nails, and of course the perfect figure (whatever that may look like to you) – have little to do with the inner beauty that shines forth when we are living our real truth. What matters most is how we feel about ourselves inside our skins. If a little liposuction would help, then by all means, go ahead

However, that’s not to say that the outer manifestation – how we present ourselves to the world – doesn’t indicate in some measure how we feel about ourselves inside. If a man feels powerless because he’s losing his hair, will a toupee or hair implants make him feel like more of a man? Would Donald Trump still be The Donald without his signature way of keeping hair on his head? Would the man whose name fronts some of the most expensive real estate in the world feel insecure if he faced the world bald?

What do your attempts at beauty indicate about yourself? Do you assume you’ll be rejected by men if you can’t fill a DD cup? Why do you think that? Do you hide under baggy clothes because you’re overweight and ashamed? Do you think you couldn’t possibly go on a job interview if a nail is chipped?

Beauty, as the saying goes, is in the eye of the beholder. Look at yourself in a mirror – a well-lit mirror! Stop moaning and groaning. What is the reflection telling you? Can you see love and compassion for yourself streaming from your eyes? Do you see your intelligence, your creativity, your shining soul? Or are you inundated with self-loathing? If all you can see in the mirror are your “faults” – the extra pounds, the grey hairs, wrinkles, too many freckles, drooping breasts, whatever – there’s an inner truth that you’re hiding from. And a plastic surgeon or anti-aging treatments or a new hair color won’t change whatever lie you’re telling yourself.

As a high-powered lawyer, I used to wear expensive clothes to cover the shame of drinking too much and winding up in strange beds, not realizing that what I was really trying to cover up – with my entire lifestyle – was the sexual abuse I had experienced as a child.

So look long and hard in the mirror. Wherever you find a part of yourself you don’t like, see if you can find out why. What fear, what insecurity, what shame is staring back at you? Dig deeper. Write about it in your journal. What memories arise? Go deeper. Strip away the lies and find your truth. You’ll may amazed at how that reflection in the mirror changes.

Can you still dye your hair? Of course! Find out if blondes do have more fun. Lose some weight and get to buy new clothes (while lowering your cholesterol and making your doctor happy). But know that your true beauty radiates from your truth!