Love, Old Vows, and the Heart Field: Why Your Relationships Feel So Familiar
There is a certain kind of relationship that feels like déjà vu.
You meet someone and your system reacts before your mind catches up. Your chest tightens or softens. You feel drawn in, or wary, or strangely responsible, and you can’t explain why.
Then, a few weeks or months later, you catch yourself saying, “I can’t believe I’m here again.”
Different face. Same story.
From an energetic perspective, that familiarity is rarely random. It often points to old vows and unfinished contracts sitting in your heart field, quietly shaping who you choose, what you tolerate, and how quickly you abandon yourself to keep the connection.
Let’s talk about that.
Your Heart Has A Memory
The physical heart is a powerful organ, but the heart field extends far beyond the chest.
It’s the energetic atmosphere around you that holds:
- your deepest longings,
- core beliefs about love and worth,
- and the imprints of old heartbreak and devotion.
This field remembers across time.
Mystics have written about it for thousands of years. Sufi poets, medieval Christian mystics, tantric practitioners in India… all describing a place within the chest that seems to hold stories from other lifetimes, other lands, other names.
When you meet someone and feel an instant charge, your heart field is reacting to:
- familiar energetic signatures,
- chords from earlier lives,
- echoes of old vows.
You’re not crazy. You’re remembering.
Old Vows Hiding In Modern Stories
Many souls carry vows and contracts from other incarnations that made sense then and cause trouble now.
A few examples I see often:
- A vow to caretake at any cost. Long ago you might have been a healer, a priestess, a monk in charge of the sick. In this life that vow can turn into relationships where you overgive, attract wounded partners, and forget your own needs.
- A vow to never abandon a certain soul again. Maybe you lost someone tragically in another incarnation. Now you meet them and feel an instant, binding loyalty. Even when the relationship becomes draining or harmful, you stay, because some part of you remembers the loss and refuses to repeat it.
- A vow of sacred loneliness. Some spiritual lineages prized isolation. A commitment to God meant turning away from human love. In this life, that can show up as choosing unavailable partners, or watching healthy love approach and pulling back at the last second.
These vows sit like embroidery in the heart field. They influence what feels “normal” without ever being spoken.
How Old Vows Shape Your Patterns Now
You can usually spot an old vow by the repetition and intensity of the pattern around it.
Look at your relationship history and ask yourself:
- Where do I keep ending up in the same role?
- Where do I feel obligated far beyond what’s reasonable?
- Where does guilt appear the moment I consider leaving or changing the dynamic?
- Where do I feel “chosen,” then slowly erased?
Old vows often create an inner script that sounds like:
“I’m responsible for their healing.”
“If I leave, they’ll fall apart.”
“I owe them my loyalty, no matter what.”
“Love means accepting pain.”
Your mind can list every reason this isn’t healthy. The heart field still pulls you in.
Think of it as an older contract overruling your current intentions.
A Simple Heart Field Inquiry
You don’t need to see past lives like a movie for this work to begin.
Try this gentle practice:
- Sit somewhere quiet. Place one hand over your chest, the other over your belly. Let your breath slow down.
- Bring to mind one relationship pattern that feels familiar. It might be romantic, family, friendship, or even a work dynamic.
- Notice what happens in your body as you think of it. Chest tightness. Heat in the face. A swirl in the stomach. Just observe.
- Ask inwardly: “Where did I learn to love like this?”
Don’t push. Let images, phrases, or impressions rise. You might see a scene from childhood. You might feel an older era. You might simply hear a sentence such as “I promised” or “Never again.” - Ask: “What is the vow here?”
Listen for words like “always,” “never,” “forever,” “no matter what.” Old vows often carry that kind of absolute language. - Finally, ask: “Is this still true for who I am now?”
Sometimes the answer is a clear yes. More often, a part of you sighs with relief at the thought that you could live by a different agreement.
You don’t have to force anything. Simply bringing the vow into consciousness starts to loosen its grip.
Writing A New Agreement With Your Heart
Once you sense the old vow, you can begin to write a new one that honors your growth.
You might say:
“I release the vow to abandon myself for love.
I honor the devotion behind it.
I choose a new agreement where love includes my well-being, my truth, and my path.”
Or:
“I release the vow to carry someone else’s healing alone.
I bless the service I once gave.
I choose partnerships where each soul owns its journey.”
It can help to write the old vow and the new one on paper.
Burn the old one in a safe way. Keep the new one near your altar, your mirror, or under your pillow for a while.
Ritual speaks to the heart field more clearly than analysis.
When Love Patterns Need A Stronger Field
Some vows respond quickly to this kind of quiet work. Others feel welded to your ribs.
If you notice that:
- the same painful dynamic appears in every serious relationship,
- you feel panic at the idea of leaving, even when you know it’s right,
- or your heart shuts down any time someone safe approaches,
then you may be dealing with a multi-lifetime contract that needs a stronger container.
These are the patterns I love to work with in retreat space.
In May, I’ll be gathering students at The Casa Franciscan Renewal Center in Scottsdale for four days of deep energy work, guided meditations, and sacred time on land that has held spiritual practice for many years. One of the threads we’ll be addressing is exactly this… old vows and relationship imprints in the heart field.
In a setting like Scottsdale, your system is held from morning to night.
You’re supported by the LifeForce Energy Healing® Team and like-minded healers and seekers. You have the labyrinth, the healing garden, the quiet desert paths, evenings of song and connection, and the safety of a community that understands this level of work.
That combination makes it much easier to:
- surface old vows without collapsing,
- grieve what needs to be grieved,
- and anchor new agreements in your body, not just in your mind.
If you’ve recognized yourself in these patterns, and you’re tired of repeating the same love story with different names, I’d be honored to work with you in person there.
You can reserve your spot by clicking here >>
Whether you join us in Scottsdale or start with the simple practice above, remember this:
Your heart is allowed to update its contracts. Devotion can stay. Self-abandonment does not have to.
You are here to love from a place that includes your soul, your truth, and your path.